If you have access to Netflix watch Intervention, Season 1, Episode 2. (It's a streaming video option; no disc needed).
There are two people highlighted, Tamela and Jerrie. Tamela is the one you want to watch, but she's is intermixed with Jerrie, so you might as well watch the whole show.
Discuss using examples from this episode, how cutting should or should not be considered violent. Recall that our handbook does not address self violence; this is something that you as a class developed. So how can we use what we know about violence and aggression to understand this self-harming behavior? Does it make sense to have a 'self' category in a violence class? Are there any aspects of the General Aggression Model that pertain to Tamela? What do you think the causes are of her cutting behavior? What do you think her obstacles will be in ceasing this behavior? What resources should she tap into to give her a better chance of success?
WARNING: Tamela's episode is graphic. It shows her cutting. There is blood. If you do not want to watch this OR do not have access to Netflix, then do the assignment below.
ALTERNATE ASSIGNMENT:
Go here: http://eqi.org/cutting1.htm and browse around. Scroll down to get past the index and into the narratives. There is information here and testimonials from cutters.
Discuss using examples from this website, how cutting should or should not be considered violent. Recall that our handbook does not address self violence; this is something that you as a class developed. So how can we use what we know about violence and aggression to understand this self-harming behavior? Does it make sense to have a 'self' category in a violence class? Are there any aspects of the General Aggression Model that pertain to any of the people you read about on this website? Choose one particular person and then answer these questions: What do you think the causes are of her/his cutting behavior? What do you think her/his obstacles will be in ceasing this behavior? What resources should she/he tap into to give her/him a better chance of success?
First of all I want to say that if you have a loved one, friend, or you yourself have ever been involved in this behavior, it is extremely hard to watch. Not because of the blood, but because of the feelings associated with it and the pain it brings to everyone around the person doing it.
Cutting should definitely be considered violent. If we look at the definition of violence provided in ch. 1, we know that it is the most severe form of aggression, where someone is harming someone with the intent to injure them and the recipient doesn’t want the harm. Many people might use that definition to say that it doesn’t because only one person is involved; however, I truly believe this can be included in the definition. Tamela explains in the episode that she doesn’t WANT to be hurt, but she wants to have that control, to see the blood, to know she’s capable of feeling. She has so many unanswered needs that she does the one thing that gives her that feeling that she can keep going. It seems very confusing if someone has never known anyone who has done it. Not only does she cut, but she drinks to take the pain away, and punches door/mirrors because those feelings of inadequacy continue to build up. For many people this is the only way they know how to get those feelings out and take a breath. While the process may make the person feel better and may even produce a kind of “high”, I still have not met anyone that cuts or has cut in the past that has been happy that they do/have done it. This is in line with the definition of violence. They don’t WANT it, but they NEED it. To Tamela, it was more of a compulsion. It was something she felt she had to do. When that guy called her a “ho”, she felt like she had to contaminate some “pure” part by cutting her pubic area.
This may possibly go back to her sexual abuse. We know that people who are abused tend to feel worse about themselves, especially if it is sexual abuse. They may feel like Tamela did, that nobody loves them. They may feel like they aren’t doing any more damage to themselves than what that person who abused them did, which may even make them feel responsible for said abuse. From what we know about aggression and violence, we know that people tend to act out after horrible things have been done to them. They may withdraw from society. We know that it has a profound effect on the person’s self-esteem and self-worth. One act, such as sexual abuse, can cripple and destroy someone to the point that they feel hurting themselves is their only option.
It most definitely makes sense to have a “self” category in a violence class. Obviously, self-harm can result in serious life threatening injuries. If we ever hope to help people who are going through this process, we need to study it and know the signs/symptoms, and be able to provide support, no matter what. I think having this category in class will also help people realize that the majority of people who self-harm are not simply doing it to “get attention”. There are deep psychological problems that are making them feel they have to resort to this. I am not denying that some people do it to get attention, now a day more than ever. There were plenty of people that I knew who did it because it was “cool”. Taking a class that spends some time focusing on this will assist in knowing what’s what and how to handle it. It is never something to take for granted, and I think having this area be considered violent and learning about it will help bring that to light for many people who may have had preconceived notions about the behavior or people who do/have done it.
I think that the single episode cycle of the GAM pertains to Tamela. For Person/Situation she has the attitude that nobody loves her and that she feels like she isn’t worth a whole lot. This attitude negatively contributes to her actions. She has these beliefs that it isn’t going to get better. She also gets herself into situations, such as the guy calling her a “ho”, which strengthen these bad attitudes and beliefs. These situations send her spiraling.
For Internal States, the actual process of cutting and punching things gives her a release that arouses her and makes her feel less “out of control”. It definitely affects her internal states. She knows that if she cuts, she will have that “releasing” feeling. That “high” will come that will make her feel better for the time being. This affects the next aspect of the single episode cycle: Outcomes.
For Outcomes, I think that the immediate appraisal process is really a key factor. She knows that she will immediate feel the effects of cutting, so she impulsively does it when she gets into situations that confirm her attitudes. The book talks about how the immediate appraisal process may include anger-related affect. This is definitely true for Tamela. When she is angry, like the night she came home from that guy calling her a “ho”, it isn’t so much of a process that she thinks about whether she has the right “tools” or if she will be judged. It is something that just seems natural to her. It is her defense mechanism to take away that anger. I think that the intervention helped her into the process of reappraisal. She started to realize how everyone felt. She was taken into care by people who love her and made her know it isn’t the way to go. This helped her think about her actions before she did them.
I think that a big cause of her cutting is the fact that she was sexual abused 3 times when she was a girl. As I talked about above, this can have a profound effect on people and how they view themselves and act toward others and themselves. I think she never properly got the care she needed for these horrible crimes, as her mother said, and this just continued to make her feel worthless and like nobody loves her. It is a cycle that seems like it won’t end. She doesn’t feel worthy or good about herself, so she cuts, which in turn makes her hate herself like she said. I think it could also have to do with the way her parents, especially her dad, treat her. They continuously quote the bible at her. They don’t try to understand or get her help that she needs in the way she needs. They think that trying to make her feel like she should feel bad in front of God should push her to stop. They discussed it at dinner. I know if I was in her shoes, even though I’m Christian, I would feel very pressured. I also think that from the little I saw, she could possibly have bipolar disorder. She seems to go from high to low often. When she is happy, she is bouncing off the walls happy, and obviously when she is depressed, it is severe.
I think one of her biggest obstacles in ceasing cutting will be fixing her self-esteem and self-worth. She has such a messed up view of herself and that she is not loved. One of the hardest things to break is how you have grown up thinking about yourself. Cutting is an addiction and she will probably have a hard time stopping and controlling herself when she feels that need. Even people that have stopped for years still get “cravings” like you might see when someone quits smoking or drinking. It’s not just a behavior that has to stop, it’s a lifestyle. She will have to start learning to cope with the situations and attitudes of others so that it doesn’t affect her and make her do these things. There are other ways to get anger out, and that will be really difficult to instill.
I think she will have a better chance of success if she joins support groups. Having a friend to confide in and be there when you really have that craving is something that all types of addicts need. The treatment center is a very good start at living, but that only extends while you’re there. She needs resources post-treatment. She may also want to look into some type of activity that will let her anger out when she needs it that isn’t self-violent. Many people think that things such as boxing are a good way to learn to let out anger. I don’t think that is a productive solution. It is still a behavior that is teaching people to hit to let their anger out. Something calming would probably be better, like her guitar playing and singing. Most of all, like I mentioned though, she needs a strong, loving support system.
This episode of Intervention was extremely difficult to watch. Reading about self-mutilation is quite different from actually witnessing somebody doing it. The pain, the anguish, the guilt, and the depression all balled up made the scene appear to be an extreme bi-polar break down.
I feel that cutting should be considered violent. In Tamela's case, I feel it's quite apparent that what she is doing fits with in our text book's definition of violence. With every slash of the razor and every punch of the door, Tamela exhibited a severe form of aggression which constitutes as violence due to the bodily injury which she inflicted on herself.
I do feel that a "self" category is warranted in a violence class. A person can be violent both emotionally and physically to themselves. As we seen in Tamela's story, she punched the mirror so hard it shattered (not to mention punching holes through the door repeatedly even though her hand was obviously hurt). If that isn't the epitome of violence, I really don't know what is.
According to our text, the General Aggression Model recognizes that personal and situational factors influence how a person perceives and interprets what is a threat or not which then leads to either aggressive behavior or not. Each experience then becomes part of a knowledge structure which in turn influences future experience. With this in mind, Tamela has developed a knowledge structure about herself in which she sees herself as being unworthy and deserving of her self-punishment. When situational factors (such as the random guy calling her a derogatory name) occur, it combines with her already form knowledge structure. Both start to influence her thoughts and feelings about herself which then leads her to cut or harm herself. Following the harming behavior, she feels relief but she also feels guilt which feeds into her formed knowledge structure about being unworthy and further perpetuates the violence.
I really feel that Tamela's history of being sexually abused combined with her parent's inadequate methods of dealing with her emotional health is the two big factors of her self-mutilation.
In addition to her personal history, I feel that Tamela's self-harm is also a result of being a sensation-seeker. From my Motivation and Emotion class, we learned that sensation-seeking is defined as "the seeking of varied, novel, complex, and intense sensations and experiences, and the willingness to take physical, social, legal, and financial risks for the sake of such experience" (Reeve, 2009). A lot of these characteristics can be seen in Tamela. For instance, moving back and forth from Texas to Arizona because she wants to experience something new. Additionally, when she arrived back in Arizona, we see her doing these dangerous stunts with her car. I can only assume that the adrenaline rush that she experienced while performing these stunts fed into the high level of stimulation her brain craved. I feel that some of her statements about feeling numb and wanting to feel "something" could also be another indicator that she is a sensation-seeker because when she is not distracted by other activities, her brain is not being stimulated enough which in turn makes her seek out arousal.
Sensation-seekers tend to have a high level of dopamine (which increases their approach behaviors by rewarding them with pleasant or "good" feelings) and low levels of serotonin (which inhibits approach behaviors) thus making them highly likely to engage in risk-taking behaviors (Reeves, 2009). Sensation-seekers also have low levels of the enzyme monoamine oxidase (MAO) which is involved with breaking down neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin (Reeves, 2009). Because of this, sensation-seekers like Tamela may engage in risky behavior just to continue the dopamine production in their brains so that they will feel good.
I feel that Tamela's biggest obstacle is going to be dealing with her past and trying to establish a healthy relationship with her parents (especially her dad). I feel her father and her need to seek counseling together so that they can find a way to communicate and relate to each other. Also, I feel that Tamela is going to need to find a positive outlet to express and deal with her emotions to replace her self-harm behavior. If she truly is a sensation-seeker, perhaps some sort of medication to correct the chemical imbalance she has would also be a great deal of help, as well.
Tamela is in a definite need of a positive support system. Perhaps there is a support group or counselor that she feels comfortable with that can help guide her on a path to recovering.
So how can we use what we know about violence and aggression to understand this self-harming behavior?
We know that both violence and aggression can become a vicious cycle, much the same way self-harming behavior is. Someone feels hurt and/or angry, they cut themselves, they feel more hurt and angry, and they continue to cut/hurt themselves. Tamela’s case is a perfect illustration of this violent cycle. At one point, she is upset and angry at a guy who calls her a ‘hoe’. The minute she arrives at her house, she reaches for the razor beside her bed and starts to cut herself. Later on she begins to feel angry and ashamed of her behavior and so she hurts herself again by punching a mirror. It is a repetitive cycle that individuals such as Tamela can’t seem to control.
Does it make sense to have a 'self' category in a violence class?
Anyone who does not think that self-mutilation should be categorized as a form of violence needs to see this episode of Intervention. Intentionally causing such physical injury to one’s own body should most definitely be considered violence.
Are there any aspects of the General Aggression Model that pertain to Tamela?
The main aspect of the General Aggression Model that pertains to Tamela involves the ‘Route’ component involving cognition, affect, and arousal. Tamela will think about an event (cognition) such as when a man on the street called her a ‘hoe’, which then in turn causes her to feel heightened sense of sadness and angry, which then motivates her to want to do cut herself in an attempt to relieve these emotions (arousal).
What do you think the causes are of her cutting behavior?
The case of Tamela has various causes that are very common within the self-harm population. One could see a lot of self-loathing, low self-esteem, sexual abuse and feelings of being unloved. One of the ways in which she shows the audience her low self esteem is when she talks about her wanting guys to pay attention to her. She’s constantly seeking out their approval or attention thinking that it’s going to make her feel good about herself. A lot of that attention however proved to be very negative (e.g. getting propositioned and being called a ‘hoe’) and only fed into her self-loathing attitude. At one point she even says “nobody loves me; nobody wants me”. Tamela also feels as though her parents don’t care (rightfully so). It is at this point that the “attention seeking” component described in our readings from Tuesday comes into play. Tamela would describe how she would cut herself and then purposely show her parents in order to get their attention. In her words, their only response was, “Wow, that’s bad. Stop cutting yourself” and that would be the end of the conversation. Ignoring and “praying away” their daughter’s issues was a huge failure to say the least. Even when she needed her parents most, they weren’t there for her. Tamela describes having been molested as a child (1rst – 6th grade). Her parents response?: taking her to a religious counselor from their church and “praying” her problems away. Not only did Tamela fail to get the treatment she needed, but she was left without a solid support system in which she could have learned healthy ways to cope with life stressors. During the show, as she is talking to a co-worker, Tamela even acknowledges that her childhood did not give her the healthy coping mechanisms most people learn during their lives. In addition to the lack of parental support, Tamela’s behavior can also be traced back to being the victims of sexual molestation. From first grade, all the way to sixth grade, Tamela was sexually molested. The show stated that according to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than half of self-mutilators were sexually abused. Being raped once by a stranger or what have you is one of the most terrible things anyone can ever experience, but to be molested repeatedly over the course of several years is that much more devastating. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Tamela developed such an unhealthy and destructive way of coping with her victimization.
What do you think her obstacles will be in ceasing this behavior?
I think that one of Tamela’s main obstacles involves her parents. It is blatantly obvious that her father is not a supportive individual. His excuse is that Tamela is a girl and he “can’t relate to her world”. He also comes across as a true religious fundamentalist nut who in a way blames Tamela for her issues and what she’s been through. Her mother as well at one point talks about how it is our sins that cause the bad things that happen to us. Another obstacle for Tamela will be the ability to learn and stick to healthy coping mechanisms. She seemed to be a very gifted and talented individual; however even tapping into those talents (i.e. singing) didn’t prevent her from engaging in self-harm behaviors to begin with. Therefore that process will be a bit tricky. I think the greatest obstacle for Tamela will be coming to terms with her victimization as a child. Not only is such a traumatic experience difficult to deal with in and of itself, but not being able to see justice will make it that much more difficult to have closure and move on. In the show, they didn’t go into much detail about who abused Tamela or if they were ever punished. However, being that her parents failed to address the issue, one can assume that Tamela’s abuser went unpunished. How can anyone move forward from such events without seeing some form of justice?
What resources should she tap into to give her a better chance of success?
Tamela’s best chance of success I think lies with seeking professional treatment for a long period of time. As her interventionist said, people will not be “cured” in 30 days. It is a continuous process. Talking to other individuals (whether fellow patients or other counselors) who have been through similar experiences, can also increase a person’s chances of long-term success. Not only do they understand exactly what you’re going through, but it can show people that it is possible to successfully overcome these issues.
Before reading this I considered Cutting as violent, but now that I've actually read the feelings of actual cutters and what goes on inside of their minds… I would call Cutting a "Last Resort". Violence is meant to cause harm or pain to someone or something. Cutters cut themselves to RELIEVE pain from their bodies.
I DO believe that there is a category known as "Self Harm" because there are clearly other ways that people do get violent with themselves. Cutters relieve stress on their own bodies, but rarely in the attempt to commit suicide. Self Harm with guns or jumping off of a building would be considered violent because you KNOW what the outcome will be if you follow through with those plans.
I don't think any category out of the GAM pertains to Cutters because their goal isn't to inflict harm/pain on anything; they're trying to relieve pain. Yes they are causing harm to their bodies, but they view it as the exact opposite because they feel alone with nobody to release their pain to and seek help.
The 16 year old I feel started cutting herself because the stresses she was experiencing that early on in life were too much for her to handle. She felt that she couldn't trust anyone, so that left her feeling alone in tough situations so the only way to release stress/pain from her body was to inflict pain on herself but it left her with a feeling of relief. She said her mom was never satisfied with her progress in life and didn't know how to comfort her so instead she always yelled and made her feel like she was worthless in the world. Her biggest setback from being able to quit cutting herself will be her lack of trust in anybody. If she doesn't trust anyone then she will never seek help, so she'll always feel lonely which is what caused her to become a cutter in the first place. If she truely wants to quit cutting, she has to find trust in SOMEBODY and seek help.
She needs to find a way to swallow her pride and admit she NEEDS help. Her counselor who she trusted before hand would be a great start. At least she knows he cared about her, she just felt betrayed because she didn't want her mother to know. The other option is to just contact help on her own or tell her mom she needs help. The main thing for her to succeed in saving herself is to trust SOMEONE and let them help her.
Cutting is a very interesting behavior. I do not think that cutting is violent. While it is inflicting physical harm, the goal is not necessarily to inflict harm on the self. Cutting is a way of release from emotions for some. For others, it is a desperate cry for help to others around them. In Tamela's case, she was suffering from emotional pain due to her molestation as a child. Because the molestation was never dealt with by her parents (they just prayed for it to be fixed, they did not actually try to fix things other than a couple counseling sessions), she had underlying issues that had never been addressed before. I think this caused her to cut, as both a release for emotional pain and as a cry for help.
I think Tamela was reaching out for help in her cutting because she actually told her mom about her cutting. Her mom's response was only "that's bad, don't do it." Tamela seems to desperately need love and support for both what happened to her as a child and what she is currently going through. She has not felt that love and support surrounding her, and feels alone. This could be a major contribution to her cutting behavior.
Being raised in a religious home has also affected her greatly. Her parents rely on religion and prayer to solve all problems. Tamela even states herself that she has never had the tools to properly deal with problems. I think her parents need to take more of a realist approach to her problems and not simply rely on prayers to fix everything. While those who believe have faith that prayers and God will heal, there is simply more going on emotionally within the human mind. It is possible that some people may be able to solve their problems this way, but deep emotional trauma and scars are far too complicated, especially in Tamela's case, to be healed by only prayers. Her parents need to be able to understand what kind of help she truly and desperately needs and has needed for a very long time. They need to be able to understand and relate to Tamela, rather than hoping that things will eventually patch together on their own.
When discussing her cutting, Tamela says that she enjoys seeing "something pure becoming corrupted." I think it is possible that this relates to her being abused as a child. A child is pure and untouched. When that child is sexually assaulted by another person, the pureness becomes corrupted, deflowered, and forever changed. I found her statement to be very interesting and perhaps a key as to what is truly going on within her.
Her biggest obstacles in stopping the cutting behavior will be fixing the emotional pain that stems from her abuse as a child and getting the love, support, and understanding that she needs. If Tamela can be understood by others, work on other ways of expressing her emotions, change attitudes about herself, and use the resources that she has been given, I think she will be on her way to a great recovery. She also should avoid binge drinking because that often contributed to her cutting behavior. With treatment, addressing the emotional pain and trauma in her life, and support around her, I think Tamela can have the tools necessary for recovery.
We can use what we already know about aggression and violence to understand cutting in some ways. The General Aggression Model can at least help us factor in other things within the individual committing the acts and the surroundings that contribute to the behavior. However, the person causing the harm is also the person receiving the harm, and the direct intent is not necessarily to inflict harm, but to release pain. I think it is definitely appropriate to cover self harm in a violence class, but a new model of violence and aggression should be introduced that clearly defines whether or not a self harm behavior is violent and/or aggressive.
After reviewing this website, it leaves me with mixed feelings on whether or not cutting can be seen as violent. It seems like those who cut do it as more of a self soothing technique rather than to actually cause harm to themselves. One aspect that leaves me questioning this separation is that many of them want to stop, but can't or feel like they have no choice. While they are intentionally and purposely harming themselves, it's as if they aren't able to control the urge to cut. It's almost as if they are addicted to cutting, just as some are addicted to drugs. It's hard for me to put this into perspective, as I have never experienced this sensation or the urge to hurt myself. At the same time, it seems like these testimonials don't see cutting as hurting themselves, they see it as a form of relief.
I'm honestly not sure that we can use our information and knowledge on violence in the area of self-harm. I think that those who cut need more psychological help and therapy in the areas that are causing them to feel as though they have no way out and like they have to cut, rather than anger prevention or concentrating on the violent aspect of it.
While I was reading about the girls on the website, it seems like there were some similar underlying issues. All of them seem to have issues with their family lives, Alyssa's being more physically violent and Nathalie and the 16 year old's being more emotionally connected. Alyssa talks about how her father abuses her and her mother doesn't do anything about it, which causes Alyssa a lot of stress and anger towards her parents. She has no outlet, so she looks to this pen pal as a way of expressing herself. The 16 year old seems to feel trapped in her own world, unable to communicate with anyone. It's sad to hear that she has tried to reach out to many people, all of which let her down. Her guidance counselor had to tell her mom about her cutting, which lead to another fight and made her feel even worse about herself. Nathalie seems to feel alone as well, as her parents abandoned her and her grandparents aren't supportive of her. She also has no one to turn to, so she turns to cutting. I think that all of these girls will need to find someone whom they can trust to let out these emotions and thoughts. While any professional would have the obligation to communicate with their parents, it may be better to find some sort of anonymous type of help that would not have to tell their parents. These girls need a way out, and they need someone to help them find how to take care of themselves again. In order to do this, they'll have to uncover the reasons behind their cutting behavior, and solve those issues first. Their family lives are definitely an area that needs improvement, or they need to be able to overcome the challenges that their family's place on them. If they are able to solve their deeper family issues, then maybe they can begin to solve their social problems and deal with the more daily struggles that force them to cut.
This episode of intervention told the story of Tamela's struggle with life, emotions, and relationships. It was a first hand account of the agonizing pain behind cutting and self-mutilation. After watching this epsiode about Tamela's struggles and pain, I have little hesitation to say that cutting is a violent behavior. While watching this episode and thinking about the question of whether cutting is violent, I though how could we not consider this behavior violent? If this was done to another individual it would be considered violent. I can understand the dispute in that it is done in order to emmit emotion but it is also done to inflict a pain greater than the emotional pain one feels. It is a purposive action to do harm to oneself. This in itself constitutes violence. I would consider this violence different than person to person violence. You could see the violence in Tamela throughout the episode. Not only did she do harm to herself through cutting but also through punching a door continuously and punching a mirror. Regardless of if the acts are done to oneself or another, it is still violent behavior. If you really think about it, a lot of violence is done out of emotional reaction. This is why our criminal justice system based around deterrence is not always effective in deterring crime. Often people do not consider the risks and benefits (rational choices) before committing a crime or an act of violence. Tamela portrays this same pattern in her cutting behavior. The emotion instigates the violent behavior. The antecedent of the violence is emotional overload.
It would be beneficial to have self-violence as its own category of violence. While I do believe it is a form of violence, it is also very different from the violence usually thought of. The two types of behavior are similar in that they are violent, but way too different to be put in the same category.
Tamela spoke of being molested as a child. I feel this is one of the leading factors in her emotional pain. After this occured, a young, confused girl was left to deal with this travesty alone. Her parents did not know how to deal with it so they instead ignored it. Tamela was left to find a way to cope with her pain and cutting was the emotional release she turned to. She felt betrayed by her parents, herself, and this so called 'God' that her parents kept pushing her to turn to. I think the cutting started as a result of having nothing else to turn to. She said she likes to see herself bleed and feel something other than the pain she feels inside.
In order to overcome the self-harming behavior, Tamela is going to need support, couseling, and a dose of confidence and self-esteem. There is years and years of pain and hurt to overcome before she can overcome the cutting. She needs to find different outlets for her emotions such as music.
The GAM can begin to help us to understand self-harm behavior; however, there are limitations of using this model to explain self violence. It can be useful in explaining how the surrounding environment can contribute to the violent acts against oneself. Tamela's environment is definitely a contributing factor to her stability. I also see how the GAM can show the escalation from one event to her feeling she has to cut herself. I do not think the GAM can explain the psychological aspects of how an indiviudal gets to this point of such intense emotional pain. It cannot explain the factors within an individual that cause them to see no other alternatives.
Tamela needs to use as many resources as possible that are available to her. She needs counseling, substance abuse treatment, self-esteem training, and family counseling. She has severe issues that if not addressed with continue to have severe consequences.
I agree with Sadie above when she says she's conflicted on whether or not self-harm should be considered violent. It is difficult to categorize because it is involving just one individual. However, I think it is violent because it is purposeful behavior causing harm to a person. Also, violence involves the victim wanting to avoid the pain. With self-harm, the person is trying to avoid the outside pain, the emotional pain they may be suffering within their family. They then mask the emotional pain with physical pain, that they have control of. So in a sense, they are being violent to themselves, they are causing themselves physical pain while at the same time avoiding/escaping the emotional pain.
I feel like the violence escalation cycle is an underlying basis for the self-harm for many of these kids on the website. They felt misunderstood by others or endured abuse from family and needed an escape. They may have started with more minor behavior (scratches) and escalate to more severe cutting, burning, beating. As they feel they lose more and more control in their life, they up the severity of their actions toward themselves. The more pain they feel internally, they feel they need to step it up a notch in their release of the pain.
I found the story of the 16 year old very sad. I see her behavior as family-related. She has a strained relationship with her mother, who seems to be very controlling and verbally aggressive. This teen tries to live up to her mother's standards, but feels inferior. She feels like she can never been good enough to make her mother happy. In order to release those feelings of despair and hopelessness, she has turned to cutting.
One obstacle is definitely her inability to trust anyone. She can't go to her mother, because she will simply send her to the hospital again, afraid that she's suicidal. The teen thought she could trust her guidance counselor, but he then relayed her confession of cutting to her mother. She really struggles with knowing that the guidance counselor has to do his job and let a parent know if their child admits a dangerous behavior like that. This 'betrayal' of trust pushes the teen even further, feeling as if she is not able to confide in anyone.
Her feelings of imperfection are a huge obstacle. With her mother's expectations of perfection, she feels she can never match up. "Why can't she hold me and tell me everything will be alright? Why can't I be happy and normal?" She feels like she has disappointed everyone and has no self-worth. She will need to overcome those feelings and try to love herself in order to cease this behavior and better herself.
My first instinct for resources for her would originally be to go to a guidance counselor or therapist. However, she seems to have already tried and not had good outcomes. Maybe even confiding in a friend or finding someone who has experienced similar struggles may help. Having someone she can trust and who will comfort her will give a feeling of worth and a safe, secure outlet rather than resorting to self-harm. Also, finding someone who has gone through something similar can help her feel like she is not alone. They can maybe give their own coping strategies that helped them get through such a tough time.
Discuss using examples from this episode, how cutting should or should not be considered violent. Recall that our handbook does not address self violence; this is something that you as a class developed. I think that cutting can definitely be considered a violent behavior. Even through the action is to the self, there is intent to cause serious bodily harm, which in itself is the definition of violence according to our textbook. Even through the text says it has to be towards another person whom is avoiding the harm, I think this can still apply because, probably in most cases the person is the abuser and the victim and they probably do want some kind of help, they just do not know how to get it. It is clear that Tamela wants help, she did not even try to fight the idea of getting treatment. Personally, it was really hard for me to watch some of the scenes where she was harming herself, I had never seen someone do something so violent to themselves.
So how can we use what we know about violence and aggression to understand this self-harming behavior?
I think you can use both definitions given in our textbook and modify them a little bit to define self-harming behaviors like cutting as an aggressive violent behavior done to the self. There is frustration and pain being dealt with in Tamelas circumstances and you can probably find that in most cutters. She is either frustrated with her own emotions or her numbness that she deals with it my releasing that pain through cutting. I think both violence and aggression are significant parts of self-harming behaviors.
Does it make sense to have a 'self' category in a violence class?
I think so, I think that people just always classify self-harming behaviors as a mental illness and it only effects the person that is harming themselves, but I do not think that it is true. Sometimes there is mental illness associated with violence, but not always and I think that needs to be applied to self-harming behaviors as well. Self-harming behaviors effects many people, especially the family members of self-harmers. I think it would help to understand some underlying reasons people participant in self-harming behavior if people classified it as violent and it was more publicly acknowledged and talked about.
Are there any aspects of the General Aggression Model that pertain to Tamela?
I think the psychological processes model of the GAM can help us understand how Tamela gets from feeling the way she does to taking those feelings out on her body with cutting. She escalates her feelings to the point that in her mind it's ok and necessary to cut herself to feel ok again. She has made cutting a part of her routine and a way to cope with any type of feelings, whether it be extreme sadness or no feelings at all.
What do you think the causes are of her cutting behavior?
I think she has a very distorted self view and a distorted outlook of what others think of her. She has a really low self esteem and doesn't know how to safely cope with her emotions stemming from her childhood, the molestation that took place when she was a child has clearly had many negative implications on her life now. Also, she thinks that people are constantly judging her in a negative fashion, which I don't think is true at all. Many of the people that are closest to her want her to get help and are not judging her negatively, they just do not know how to approach her.
What do you think her obstacles will be in ceasing this behavior?
I think a huge obstacle for her will be to know her self worth. I think she really struggles to know who she is, she has a mindset a lot like a adolescent, in which she struggles to find her identity and depends on others around her. Another obstacle I think she will have a hard time getting over will be her coping with the past and understanding that being molested as a child was not her fault, like many victims, I think Tamela blames herself for the victimization she experienced. Also, I think she will need to have better communication skills with her family, especially her father, she seems to hold a lot of resentment towards him through out the video.
What resources should she tap into to give her a better chance of success?
I think she's the personality type that would work well in a support group. I get the impression that she likes to share her feelings with others and wants help. I think she would do well with sharing experiences with others and having others to depend on through her struggles.
Discuss using examples from this episode, how cutting should or should not be considered violent.
Cutting should be considered violent because the act itself is very purposeful and it results in potentially serious injuries. Tamela’ purpose(s) for cutting herself revolved around the idea that she talked about otften: she feels like nobody loves her and she isn’t worth anything. More specifically, with regards to cutting around her pubic area, she enjoys seeing something pure become corrupted. The episode showed this after she got home after a night out during which a guy called her a ‘hoe’. I think this might also connect back to the fact that she was molested as at very young age. The episode also stated that more than 50% of self mutilators were sexually abused. With regards to cutting resulting in potentially serious injuries, from what I could see it didn’t seem to me that Tamela was cutting herself very deeply. Maybe at this point her injures would be considered ‘minor’, however, if she continues to cut herself I think she’d be more likely to escalate her cutting behavior to deeper cuts which could result in more serious injuries. As to considering how cutting should not be considered violent, I did see a few things in this episode to suggest that Tamela’s cutting wasn’t violent. One could make an argument about how some people cut themselves to relieve pain, not to inflict pain (which is the basis of the violence definition). Tamela wanted to relieve pain she was experiencing by cutting herself, but I don’t think her main motive (at least some of the times) was to inflict pain upon herself. Tamela wanted to see lots of blood because seeing it made her feel better. She also smeared her blood all over her body after she was done cutting which further suggests she enjoyed looking at her blood.
Does it make sense to have a 'self' category in a violence class?
I definitely makes sense to have a ‘self’ category in a violence class. I believe that self mutilation/self injury is a form of violence even though one could argue against that. After seeing this episode, it would be very hard for me to begin to really consider how cutting wouldn’t or shouldn’t fit into a ‘violence’ category.
Are there any aspects of the General Aggression Model that pertain to Tamela?
Tamela’s situation definitely fits into the GAM in some ways. For example, in the GAM, aggression depends on how an individual interprets their environment. When that guy called Tamela a ‘hoe’, she interpreted the comment as him telling her she was worthless and gross. Tamela then goes home and cuts herself in order to relieve her negative emotions, which would be the arousal part of the GAM. Tamela has also developed what the GAM called knowledge structures from her experiences which directly influence future experiences she may have. Tamela’s knowledge structure is defined by the feelings she has about how she thinks she is worthless and unclean; therefore, she feels the need to cut herself. After cutting herself, Tamela feels relieved but guilty which only fuels her thoughts of being unclean and worthless which then starts the cycle all over again.
What do you think the causes are of her cutting behavior?
I think one of the main causes of her cutting behavior is the fact that she was sexually abused when she was younger. According to the episode I watched among other research material, more than 50% of individuals who self mutilate were sexually abused. Another factor I considered was her poor relationship with her parents. They admit to not doing enough to help Tamela after she was molested—she only went to one session of counseling and her parents left the rest up to their religious beliefs which didn’t get Tamela the help she so desperately needed. Also, it was obvious her parents didn’t really understand the situation Tamela was going through and why she felt she needed to cut herself.
What do you think her obstacles will be in ceasing this behavior?
I think one of the biggest obstacles she’ll have is developing tools she can use to deal with her emotions besides cutting herself. Tamela also has low self-esteem and feelings of not being loved by people close to her which will be obstacles for her to overcome her cutting behavior. Like I said before, her relationship with her parents may become an obstacle, but as long as her and her family are willing to take the time to understand everyone’s views on the topic and if they are all willing to help Tamela reach her goal of not cutting herself I think everything will work out for her!
What resources should she tap into to give her a better chance of success?
Tamela should seek treatment at a center that has an excellent staff. While undergoing treatment, she will find counselors and doctors who are willing to help her. She needs to be in treatment for awhile as well, not just go in and after a month be let out. It’ll definitely be a long journey for her with many obstacles to overcome.
In Tamela’s case, I would say the cutting is violent. She cuts herself so deeply sometimes that she bleeds through the night. That time when she cut above her pubic area one cut was still bleeding in the morning. That, along with all of the scars she has on her body, constitutes violence. Not only does she cut but she likes to punch things. In one scene she punched through a door. That is violent behavior and she hurt herself doing it. It that instance I do not believe she was trying to hurt herself but she went through the pain in order to release whatever she was feeling by punching the door. So in scenes like that, I say that’s not self violence. It is very hard to differentiate between self harm and self violence and I think that there should be a distinction. I would say that self harm is hurting yourself without that being the real purpose or hurting yourself in ways that don’t cause serious damage. I think self violence is more serious, conscious, and severe. I think Tamela was committing self violence because one of the reasons she cut herself was to see the blood. Also, it was planned. She would play with the razor in her hands for a while before she cut so you could tell she thought about it before doing it. I think cutting could also be used as an example of self harm if it is less severe. For example, if the person cuts themselves once as opposed to Tamela who cut herself multiple times each time she did it, could be labeled as self harming. Also, I’ve heard of hair pulling. To me, this seems like more self harm than self violence because there is not a risk of losing too much blood or taking the action to the point where one could kill themselves. I’m not sure if I worded my explanation the best but I hope it’s understood.
Tamela’s cutting can be explained by violence because she mentioned that part of the reason she cut herself is that she didn’t feel good enough so it was like a punishment. Many violent and aggressive acts are used as a punishment for another person. In acts of self harm, it is aggressive punishment for yourself and depending on the severity could be called violent. I think all self harm is aggressive because the person doing it knows it hurts them yet does it anyway. For example, if a small child touches a stove and gets burned, that is not self harm because they were not aware that they would be hurt. On the other hand, if someone who was older purposely touched a stove even though they knew they would get burned and they kept doing that, that is self harm. The second example is aggressive while the first example is innocent.
I think we can relate self harm to the GAM because, at least in Tamela’s case, she developed her knowledge structures from her experience with aggression. She was molested as a child which was an aggressive act towards her but instead or committing violence against that person, she was violent towards herself. Also, the GAM talks about personality traits affecting the situation. Tamela was very sensation seeking as we could see from her other activities. She drove crazy in her jeep, she stood really close to the edge of a cliff, she liked to ride on her boyfriend’s motorcycle and she drank alcohol. This sensation seeking personality trait could have influenced her initial decision or impulse to cut.
I think one main cause of Tamela cutting is the fact that she was molested. On top of that, her parents did not do much to help her through that. I think part of her reason for cutting was because she felt numb from being sad all of the time because she felt no self worth. I think another reason was because she wanted to punish herself because when she felt like she wasn’t worth anything, she also felt like it was her fault.
One of the obstacles I can see Tamela having with recovery is the constant self loathing. It is really hard to come out of a depression like that. Also, she would have to realize that whatever happened when she was a child was not her fault. I think something that would really help her with this is the support of her parents and especially her father. She needs to know that he can see where she’s coming from. She should also dive into her singing more because it might make her feel more useful and like her life has purpose. I liked this assignment and also the class discussion. It really made me think.
While watching Tamela’s struggles with her self destructive behavior in the video, I thought it was made clearer how self harm could be considered violent behavior. Tamela often inflicted pain intentionally upon herself, physical harm was inflicted, there are long last effects, and other people end up being harm emotionally as a result of the self harm behavior (to name a few examples). There were often instances in which Tamela would, in my opinion, seem to be only slightly frustrated with something that happened to her one moment (for example, a man calling her a “ho” when out with her cousin) and then when she is alone, completely demoralizing herself over what should be a somewhat trivial matter. This sort of emotional instability can be quite common in violent personalities, which should at least be in consideration for violent behavior. Also, Tamela didn’t just “hurt” herself in this solitary suffering, her loved ones were also affected negatively during this process. She often said hurtful things to her boyfriend and alienated those close to her (which could possibly be due to her own alienated feelings).
As mentioned above, violence is the willful intent to cause harm, and is also a more cruel form of aggression. If we apply the terms of violence to this sort of self harm behavior (a physically and emotionally negative one) then perhaps some of the same mentalities in helping can also be applied to self harm behavior. Without help, it is not likely the violence will be stopped either, so the same must be applied to self harming behavior.
I think it would be helpful to have a ‘self’ category in a violence class, but there are still so many unknown areas about the self that it would take much more research before an adequate category could be developed. The self would have divisions of its own, with examples such as severity of physical harm, cultural acceptance of harm and so forth.
I do not really like to say any certain thing actually Tamela to engage in this behavior, but I do believe it would be more than one cause (if that were the case). One aspect I feel to be detrimental to Tamela is her parent’s take on religion. It does not seem to help her in any way, and when watching the show I actually thought it seemed to upset her to hear her parents always taking such a passive role and relying solely on a higher power. It could actually have been the passive role that actually bothered her more than the religious aspect. Something else that could possibly be affecting Tamela that wasn’t really mentioned in the video is the possibility of a mental illness. While it is not always the case, with Tamela it could be a possibility. She could have an undiagnosed case of Depression, most likely with her sudden dark moods and extreme sadness from normal situations. Another possible aspect that could lead to her self harm behavior was the trauma of her sexual abuse in conjunction with her own personality traits and emotional demands. Tamela had a very energetic and happy personality, as stated by her boss and others, but she was also just as easily unstable. Her parents often stated as to “feeling like they have to walk on eggshells around Tamela so she does not become overly upset.” This sort of frustration from Tamela could come from years of living with them and hearing the same things. It is not always easy to decipher such causes.
I think the most difficult aspect in quitting Tamela’s self harm and then staying clean will be the ritualism taking place within her self harm behavior. Such compulsive behavior is quite difficult to rid the body and mind of. This compulsive ritualistic behavior seems to also be tied in with psychological addiction. Tamela would often seem to have some sort of emotional release when she would partake in her self harm behaviors, such as a crying fit often followed by a certain calm. This sort of addictive and obsessive quality can make relapse possible, but only time will tell individually.
I think finding someone else to help her be accountable, maybe someone who has also gone through the same thing in the distant past, could possibly help her keep from further self harm. I think continued counseling (for her family too) could also be a good thing, if money was no problem.
Tamela’s self harming behavior that was aired seems to be extreme in the sense that she did it several times a week and inflicted several wounds on herself when she did it. While I do not necessary feel that self harm is a “cookie cutter” example of violence, Tamela did become aggressive during the episode. Some of her self harming included punching doors, which was another release for her besides cutting. I think having a “self” category in a violence class is appropriate, only because it allows for discussion/debate on the issue that can raise awareness or educate individuals on issues.
I think Tamela’s self harming behavior resulted from a number of issues. From what was learned throughout the episode about Tamela, it appeared her self harming behavior stemmed from not only the sexual abuse in her childhood, but the reaction of the abuse from her parents/family. The family dynamic appeared strained throughout the episode, as she did not seem to feel that her family genuinely cared about her self harming behavior, although they were well aware of it. She at one point stated that her parents don’t do anything about it when she shows her mother her arm. She even stated “because of the way I was brought up, I don’t have the tools to deal with life.” Now, while we may not know exactly what she meant by this, clearly she feels that the environment she was raised in did not appropriately prepare her for the difficulties in life.
Tamela’s self harming behavior appears to be exacerbated by other’s negative perceptions of her. When a man walking down the street called Tamela a “ho”, she initially responded by walking after him and asking what he was talking about. Instead of brushing it off as no big deal, she began talking of the way she dressed and how she didn’t care what others thought of her. Later at home, she was clearly emotionally distraught, still talking about what the man had said about her. She then began cutting. She became so caught up in the one statement he made, after a night where she appeared to have a good time, but that moment became all she could think about. Her negative thinking took over, with her saying “it’s just gonna go in my big huge dumpster of shit people have said to me.” That seems to hint to the fact that Tamela goes into negative self talk mode often and has low self esteem. The only power and control she may feel she has is self harming and allowing herself to feel something.
I think Tamela’s obstacles for overcoming her self harming behavior will be ceasing to allow herself to become immersed in the negative self talk or the negative statements of others. This behavior is so ingrained in Tamela, that changing such habits will need to be preceded by changing many of her reactions to what life throws her way. Tamela obviously needs to address the sexual abuse that she endured as a child in order to do this, as it appears she has not dealt with what happened to her in a healthy manner. It will also be necessary to reestablish or establish appropriate relationships, expectations, and interactions with her family members. It seemed that her family was her primary support system, yet from interactions aired on the episode, the relationships did not appear overly beneficial to her mental health. It would also be important for Tamela to continue doing the things she loved, such as singing and making music. This seemed to make her happy, if even for the moment. Continuing to participate in activities that bring her happiness would be a key in her success.
Personally, the whole issue of cutting hits incredibly close to home for me. As I mentioned in the self-harm assignment, I have had friends and family members both harm themselves. Three people in particular that I can think of cut themselves. I can still see the scars they showed me when I finally found out.
I think that cutting should most definitely be considered a violent act. Even though you are hurting yourself physically, and no one else, you are still causing intentional harm to your body. Whenever most people cut, they do it knowing fully well what they are doing. Your emotions and stress levels can be really high during this time and a person may cut to get a distraction from these emotions. Nevertheless, I still personally think that it is fully an act of violence against yourself.
We learned from our previous readings that violence can be caused for many different reasons. It can be used as a self-defense mechanism if someone is harming us, we could be caught up in strong emotions, we could have psychological trauma....etc. etc. etc. By knowing what causes certain acts of violence, we can potentially understand why an individual started to feel the need to cut themselves in the first place. Are they doing it because of a strong feeling of despair and a desire to leave the Earth? Are they doing it to get back at someone who wronged them, thinking "Well...they'll feel sorry for the way they treated me if they see how I am hurting myself!"? Are they doing it because they have a lack of emotional support in their life? By examining the reasons we listed for what would cause someone to partake in a violent act, we can potentially reach a better understanding of why the person started cutting in the first place. Or, better yet, we can prevent people from cutting themselves in the future.
We can also use what we have learned about violent acts to educate other people about those who engage in cutting. A lot of people would easily cop to the stereotype that people who cut just want attention. However, using our knowledge of why people do certain acts, we can hopefully dispel some of the misconception.
I think it is perfectly logical to have a "self" category in our violence class. Suicide, cutting, and other forms of intentional bodily harm (NOT for art sake) are definitely violent. Not only that, but having a self category also gives us a new way to look at violence and how it can manifest itself in our world today. If we neglected to have the "self" category, we would miss out on a whole array of violence issues that we could cover. By being as knowledgeable as we can about the different types of harm in the world, we can make small steps at eliminating them.
The General Aggression Model (GAM). Our handbook states that the GAM, "...takes into account how aggression depends on cognitive factors within the individual. Aggression depends on how an individual perceives and interprets his or her environment and the people therein...". Take, for example, the story of the 15-year-old named Nathalie that is located on the website about cutting. She was totally alone in life, except for her friends on the internet. She didn't have a boyfriend, she never got any hugs or had anyone tell her that they loved them, and has to live with her grandparents. Even though the internet is her main source of human interaction, she is only allowed to be on for one hour, three times a week. If she goes over, she loses her internet privilages. This is a great example of how someone perceives and interacts with their environment. Even though her family may have been showing their love in the best ways they knew how, or the only way they knew how, Nathalie clearly still felt alone in the world. It didn't help that she had limited time to talk to the only friend she did have. All of this could have lead up to her deciding to cut/continue cutting herself. She felt alone.
As mentioned before, I think that the environment she was in had a great deal to do with why Nathalie started to cut herself in the first place. She felt alone. Her family didn't sound incredibly supportive and she had no social outlet to talk to people her own age due to the lack of friends she had. By the time she got on the internet, she had already started cutting and was able to be open and honest with the people she was talking to about her cutting behavior. If she had had someone to communicate with prior to her cutting, she may have never began.
I think that Nathalie has two big obstacles in front of her in order to stop cutting. First off all, she needs to break the habit somehow. And, as we discussed in class today, habits are incredibly hard to break. She needs to find some sort of other outlet that takes her mind away from cutting and get into better and far more enjoyable habits. Another obstacle I can see for her is getting her to realize that there are people out there who care about her, even if it doesn't seem like it. With her family history and lack of social life, she obviously may feel that there is no one she can connect with and no one that will care that she is hurting herself. Her mother would hit her and that would obviously be another way for her to feel like there is no one that cares about her.
One of the resources that I think she can really utilize, especially since she was probably just starting high school at the time, is to join some sort of school organization. Not only will it keep her busy and distracted outside of normal school hours, but it will allow her to meet new people that she may have never even talked to before. I think another resource she could utilize is help from her teachers or school guidance counselor. They can help her realize that there are people out there who care about her and support her. A final resource that I think Nathalie would be able to use to get a better chance of success would be to simply seek counseling. This will give her an outlet to express her feelings where she can vent and know that there is someone listening to her. Having social support is the best way to get help.
I definitely believe that cutting is violent. In Intervention, Tamela would cut herself so deeply she would be bleeding the next day. If that had been done to someone by someone else, it would be considered violent, so why should it not be when the person do the harming is doing it to themselves? Also, I think that cutting can lead to other violent acts, such as breaking up a door with one's fists and smashing a mirror. We can understand how this is violent by looking at what we know about violence and aggression. Violence is about getting out aggression in a painful, destructive way. Tamela takes her aggression at other people (the person who called her a "ho") out on herself in a painful, destructive way (it hurt to cut herself so that she bled, and it was a way to "take something pure and corrupt it.")
I do believe that self-harm should be an aspect of violence classes, simply because it does cause intentional harm to the person doing it to themselves. As I said before, someone doing these behaviors to another person would be considered sadistic at best, so why don't we consider people who do these things to themselves as violent? Just because someone is not violent to other people doesn't mean they aren't violent. It's just a matter of where that violence is directed. I do believe some aspects of the General Aggression Model apply. For instance, the model talks about how past experiences help us to react when a similar situation happens. For Tamela, her past experience of feeling relief after cutting helped her to react to stress by cutting herself again. This became a vicious cycle. The model also talks about how once violence starts, it continually gets worse. We see this in Tamela's case in how she cuts herself with increasing frequency, and also how she moves into behaviors beyond cutting. Where once she could cut herself and feel "better", now she needs to cut herself and smash a mirror, causing even more damage to herself.
I believe some of the causes of Tamela's problem started when she was young. After she was molestated, she didn't receive much help and never learned how to deal with it. It definitely didn't help that her parents didn't talk about it (or deal with it themselves), just assuming the problem would go away. I believe it was very powerful for Tamela to have her mom apologize for that, and that her parents staged the intervention to show that they wanted to be more proactive in helping her. I also think that she was raised to be all things to all people, which creates quite a lot of stress for a child. Again, I don't think she was taught how to deal with stress. Another thing that didn't help was that she didn't feel she could go to her parents for help. If she couldn't turn to her parents, she had to turn to herself, and that created a pattern that was very destructive, not just for Tamela but for her family as well.
I think some of the obstacles Tamela faces include how deep-rooted her problem is. Unless she is able to deal with the problems she had when she was younger, I doubt her ability to succeed. Also, she cut for many years, and the longer you have an addiction, the harder it is to break. I definitely see that as an obstacle.
I believe, though, that Tamela will make it. She has family who is being very supportive and who seem to understand that this is going to take a long time. She also has some great friends who support her. She has a boyfriend who is committed to her and I think he will help her stay on track. Finally, I think she needs to utalize the passion she has for singing and playing music. I know many people who, when they are stressed or upset, write music or sing music or play music, and this seems to help them. It looked like it could be a great tool for her, instead of cutting, learning to write her feelings and letting the pen bleed instead of her.
Before reviewing this website, I felt as though self-harm and cutting is actually violent, but now after reading through this website I am not so sure. I am aware that self-harm is a type of behavior that does cause pain, but in most cases it is a type of relieving pain and letting go of buried emotions. This behavior seems to be represented as an addictive behavior, since many can’t find the urge to stop. Most do feel the urge to keep persisting until they feel satisfied.
I agree with Sadie; I can’t really understand how they feel the urge to do it since I have never felt the urge to injure myself like that.
I was raised to think that my body is a temple and I should take care of it. That way of thinking led to me think that the way a person is brought up and their home life obviously has a large effect on their behavior. Take Alyssa for example, she was abused by her dad and was obviously physically and emotionally abused. Alyssa is trying to stop cutting, but in that email she sent Steve she claimed she was trying extremely hard not to. This would also exemplify how cutting and self harm could be addictive since Alyssa claimed to be resisting the urge to cut.
Even though I am beginning to think that self-harm could maybe not be a type of violence, I do think that it needs to be in a violence class because of the awareness needed for the behavior. A point of view that I thought was somewhat real before reading this website and previous blogs is that people who cut and do self harm are seeking attention. This turned out to be a myth since most people do not seek attention when they practice self harm.
Mai, for example, talks about how she doesn’t cut to seek attention; she does it because it soothes her ultimately. She says she likes cutting more than burning herself, which is what her friend Jonathan does. She also says that she feels really angry, then relaxed, but at the same time she feels on edge. This seems confusing, and even she says that she can’t even explain herself. I think that Mai’s causes for her behavior is that she is suffering from extreme depression. She doesn’t really say why she cuts, she just explains how it makes her feel. I think that her obstacles while trying to get over this behavior will be to just stop resorting to cutting to relieve her pain. Since she loves the way it makes her feel and relaxes her, it is going to be hard for her to stop. I ultimately think that Mai could benefit from therapy, and perhaps a support group would be beneficial.
It's difficult by the definition we have been working with to say that self harm behaviors are violent behaviors. As others have pointed out, violence is a severe form of aggression performed with the intent to inflict harm on one who does not wish to be harmed. In the case of self harm the agressor and the one being harmed are the same person. While watching the episode it was clear that while Tamela felt the urge to cut she hesitated while holding the razor above her skin... it was as if she really didnt want the pain, she only wanted the after effect (whatever that may be for her). I think there may be a special category of violence that should include self harm. Tamela was wonderful at expressing exactly what cutting was for her. She was clear at what sort of gratification she got from cutting, such as the feelings of power and control. She also let the cameras see the other side of the experience where she is curled into her pillow screaming and crying with emotions that are out of control. She laid in bed talking about her self hatred and how she felt the need to cut to get past her feelings of inadequacy. We can see how Tamela's behavior really is charecteristic of one who is comitting an act of violence and one who is on the recieving end of the violent behavior. She wants to feel powerful and in control. Those who feel as if their control is being taken away from them may lash out in violence. She wants to punish herself for not being adequate in one area or another, and punishment in the form of cutting is definately able to be considered violent. Just as violence can happen between two people or two groups of people, it would seem it could happen within one person too.
As for the cause of Tamelas cutting, it seems there could be many different contributing factors. The abuse she suffered as a child, her parents lack of support after the abuse, her lack of resources to find an outlet for her anger or her depression. I hate to point fingers at the parents, but figuring it will be ok if you just pray hard enough seems like it would not be a very good plan. Tamela could be showing signs of PTSD her parents have ignored for a significant amount of time. Tamela needs to find a way to develop more coping skills so she can rely less on cutting. She needs a support group that will talk to her in ways she will find helpful, not what they themselves will find helpful. I say this because in the scene where she is sitting at the dinner table at home with her parents they begin talking to her about God's plan and respecting her body and praying and such. Tamela first looks dissapointed, then adopts a false smile and nods and agrees untill they have said their peace. It appears to me that she has probably had this conversation, she's probably argued that it doesn't work that way for her, she's probably to the point she figures her own parents will never understand her... and this only makes her more isolated, alone, frustrated, and less able to have a support group who can truly help her. Tamela needs a support group who truly understands her. She will probably be ok if she finds constructive ways to deal with her emotions. The treatment center she was being admitted to was designed to treat people with self harm behaviors... this is great for Tamela, she will be surrounded by those who understand her, who really get what she's going through. This should prove to be one of the best possible forms of treatment for Tamela, especially because she will know she is not alone, she is not crazy, and other people have been there and have pulled through, just like she will.