Recently in Mate Selection Category

I found this article on how to know if a guy is "Mr Right" and I think that the points made are pretty good. They are things that would be red flags to me that a relationship is not going to be compatible. The first point is one that I think is important, if your friends approve of him. I think this is important because they know you very well and can sometimes so things that you are unwilling to see in a relationship. The second is that he gets along with your family, because it is going to be hard to be in a relationship with someone if they do not get along with such an important part of your life. Number three was if he listens to you, which I thought was a pretty obvious one. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't listen to them? Number four is if you share most of the same major values; I think this will just make a relationship easier, but not necessarily be a deal breaker. Numbers five and six are that he is someone you would be friends with and he is trustworthy. These also seem pretty obvious to me. Number seven on the list is he makes you feel special, I think this is important. Having that spark in a relationship and getting that good feeling from a person is important in keeping things fun and fresh, especially in a long term relationship. The eight point is if he is willing to talk about the future. This is important to me eventually, because in the end almost everyone is looking for their future "perfect" person. Number nine is finding a partner who is financially secure. I am not so sure about this point. It would be nice to find someone who is secure, but if everything else works with the person I would not write them off because of financial reasons. The last one is that he loves you for who you are. Overall this article seemed pretty good, and I think it could apply to both sexes as things to look for in a partner.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/is-he-the-one-10-signs-to-tell-if-he-s-mr-right-1032610/

This website is a common theme for my posts, but I really enjoy it's variety of topics about relationships and what not to do.

At www.askmen.com, I found an article about mistakes people make during their first conversations.  Everyone needs a source of intimacy and relatedness, and I feel that these are two very strong motivators for being in a relationship.  Also, sex can be a strong motivator.  How many people can look at a movie start like Megan Fox (or for the ladies, Channing Tatum) and not think, "Damn. Yes please!!!!"

I think that the intensity that these motivators create can be blamed for most mistakes with the awkward first conversation.  The drive to succeed with an opening conversation can lead to becoming nervous.  Your heart will rate, you'll begin to sweat, and then worry if you smell or not.  These nerves can lead to several of these "faux pas".

1)    Talking about exes.  They're in the past.  Let's leave them there. As the article says, the first conversation should be fun.  It should leave her interested in you.  Make a few corny jokes.  It will show her that you're light-hearted.

2)    Talking about money.  At this place in our lives, most of us are POOR! We're in college.  If you're both poor, great.  But if you're rich and they're poor, you'll create jealousy.  Not a good way to start something. Also, you'll seem arrogant, and she will be wondering why you're not on "Jersey Shore"

3)    Flirting too much.  Coming on too strong, by being too flirty, is just as bad as being standoffish.  By being sincere, you'll stand out by being original.  (Here's a tip: this is how you get the "okay" from her friends, too.) Just be real with her, and she's bound to be slightly interested in you.

4)    LISTEN!!! Ask her about herself - people generally enjoy talking about themselves - then just relate it back to yourself. Making a conversation with someone involves effort. If you're not going to put any into the first conversation, why would she expect you to put any into a relationship?  And how are you any different from the other hundred guys who have showed interest in her that same night?  Again, this will make you stand out.

5)    Leave her wanting more.  This will sound a little odd, but stop the conversation early.  Stop at a high of the conversation - not when you're looking for a new topic.  She will definitely be interested in talking to you again after this.

Obviously this article is geared as advice towards men.  But women, what do you think about this?  What do you agree with / disagree with.  Do you really think that any or all of this will lead to a fulfilling relationship or is this just a load of crap?

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_300/378_5-first-conversation-mistakes.html

I know a lot of people especially girls want to get married someday, and want to find their true love so I researched what motivates us to find true love and found this article which I found very interesting.

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/how-to-find-true-love-2051038.html

Helen Fisher the women who dedicates most of her life on How to find true love believes there are four personality types.

"all of us conform to one of four personality types, which are controlled by different chemicals in the brain. These chemicals mould us, and cause us to be attracted to people who complement our personality types (see panel). There is the Explorer, a sensation seeker ruled by dopamine; the Builder, a respecter of authority driven by serotonin; the Director, analytical and ruled by testosterone; and the Negotiator, intuitive and fired by oestrogen. Negotiators need to connect with others on a deeply personal level, are very trusting and good at talking."

What personality type are you? and if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend are they compatible with you according to Helen Fisher?

I chose this article because it explains the physiology behind one of my favorite past times: kissing / making out.  I was goofing around on the web the other day and through digg.com (great website - go to it!) I found the website below.  It's an article called "Why We Kiss: the Science of Sex." It's fascinating, so I wanted to share this article with you.

The article explains that although the use of pheromones to create attraction is thought to not work for humans, chemicals are still used in communication.  The article outlines how women are more attracted to the scent of a man who can help them to produce healthier children.  It also explains that twice as many adults turn their head to the right than the left while kissing.  (You're all thinking about which side you prefer, aren't you?)

Another cool topic covered by the site is that men and women see kissing differently.  Most women would never have sex with someone without kissing them first but most men would.  And men are more likely to initiate French kissing because saliva contains testosterone, and testosterone can increase arousal.  Indications show that men can also gauge the amount of estrogen a woman has (indicator of fertility) via this method.

However, the most fascinating part of the article (for me) was kissing's effects upon hormone levels.  In general, kissing releases a ton of hormones that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but the site focuses on the levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and oxytocin (the bonding hormone).  In long-term relationships, cortisol levels dropped after kissing. And oxytocin levels increased ONLY in the males.  My girlfriend wasn't too happy to hear this, but I now understand partly why I enjoy kissing so much.

During a quick search for more information, I found the other link.  At howstuffworks.com, they have a lot of information about how kissing works, its history, effects, and the anatomy of a kiss. It also includes more information on kissing's effects upon dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline, too.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22081/76045-kiss--science-sex

http://people.howstuffworks.com/kissing.htm

In my introduction to psychology class my professor asked if we would be more mad if our boyfriend/girlfriend had a sexual infidelity or an emotional infidelity. By a show of has we were able to see that more men would be upset by a sexual infidelity and more women would be more hurt by an emotional infidelity. Why is this the case? To understand mate selection will provide the answer to this. In the link below I found information regarding the answer to my questions and information about the physical appearance that impact mate selection based on evolutionary psychology ideas.

First-in the physical appearance of mates men tend to prefer younger women because they tend to be more fertile. Men like full lips, breast, and hip and a slim waist because this is the features that represent a woman who has a lot of estrogen in turn making her a good candidate for reproduction. Women are often attracted to men who have a more masculine build; broad shoulders, slim hips, a strong jaw line, clear face, and facial hair. This type of physic represents a man with a lot of testosterone therefore reinforcing that this man will be able to fulfill and provide for the family. The idea of infidelity as mention earlier is based on passing on ones genes. If a women has a sexual infidelity then the many is not 100 percent sure that the child they have together would be genetically his. Where the women in 100 percent sure the child she bears is of her genetics. A woman needs a man who is going to be there emotionally and provide support, energy, resources, and protection for her family. Therefore, a woman is going to be more concerned with an emotional infidelity than a sexual one. The first time I read his is was somewhat surprising to me however, after looking at it from an evolutionary perspective it is easy to see why this is the case.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090824115811.htm

According to this website, women judge men's faces for attractiveness on two parts: sexually and non-sexually.  

The first part determines if you have the characteristics of being a good mate.  They're looking for qualities that will help them determine if you have high levels of androgen (testosterone).  According to evolutionary psychology, this is a highly desirable trait to look for in a partner since testosterone is linked to aggression, which will lead to better protection and more food.  These traits will include strong cheekbones, a square jaw, full lips, and over all proportions of the overall face.

The second part is overall attractiveness of the face.  If these proportions of the face are symmetrical or not is one key point in determining the attractiveness.   

More on this topic can be seen during a short video on the next link.

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/science-of-sex-appeal-attractive-facial-features.html

First of all, I love the discovery channel.

The video quickly explains that although as children, we all have very similar faces.  However, because of puberty, our faces will change and become more prominent for the men and finer for the women (generally).  According to the video, a strong does of these hormones will indicate good health and fertility.  Also, by saying that someone is attractive, you're saying that they have good genes and would make a good partner for reproduction.