Recently in Sex and Mating Behaviors Category

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/teen-abortion-high-school/story?id=10189694

This article was unreal to me when i read it. How could a high school let a student get an abortion in the first place and second without the mothers knowledge?!? The article states that the school and it's health clinic did not break any Washington laws, which was surprising to me also.  To me this is just teaching the students that their actions have no consequence and that if they have a problem they do not even have to discuss it with their parents. I do not know how the school could even possibly think this was okay. To me the health center at this school is just helping teens to do things without the consent of their parents.

What do you think about this article? Should the school have the right to let students get abortions, even without consent of a parent?

This website is a common theme for my posts, but I really enjoy it's variety of topics about relationships and what not to do.

 

At www.askmen.com, I found an article about mistakes people make during their first conversations.  Everyone needs a source of intimacy and relatedness, and I feel that these are two very strong motivators for being in a relationship.  Also, sex can be a strong motivator.  How many people can look at a movie start like Megan Fox (or for the ladies, Channing Tatum) and not think, "Damn. Yes please!!!!"

 

I think that the intensity that these motivators create can be blamed for most mistakes with the awkward first conversation.  The drive to succeed with an opening conversation can lead to becoming nervous.  Your heart will rate, you'll begin to sweat, and then worry if you smell or not.  These nerves can lead to several of these "faux pas".

 

1)    Talking about exes.  They're in the past.  Let's leave them there. As the article says, the first conversation should be fun.  It should leave her interested in you.  Make a few corny jokes.  It will show her that you're light-hearted.

2)    Talking about money.  At this place in our lives, most of us are POOR! We're in college.  If you're both poor, great.  But if you're rich and they're poor, you'll create jealousy.  Not a good way to start something. Also, you'll seem arrogant, and she will be wondering why you're not on "Jersey Shore"

3)    Flirting too much.  Coming on too strong, by being too flirty, is just as bad as being standoffish.  By being sincere, you'll stand out by being original.  (Here's a tip: this is how you get the "okay" from her friends, too.) Just be real with her, and she's bound to be slightly interested in you.

4)    LISTEN!!! Ask her about herself - people generally enjoy talking about themselves - then just relate it back to yourself. Making a conversation with someone involves effort. If you're not going to put any into the first conversation, why would she expect you to put any into a relationship?  And how are you any different from the other hundred guys who have showed interest in her that same night?  Again, this will make you stand out.

5)    Leave her wanting more.  This will sound a little odd, but stop the conversation early.  Stop at a high of the conversation - not when you're looking for a new topic.  She will definitely be interested in talking to you again after this.

 

Obviously this article is geared as advice towards men.  But women, what do you think about this?  What do you agree with / disagree with.  Do you really think that any or all of this will lead to a fulfilling relationship or is this just a load of crap?

 

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_300/378_5-first-conversation-mistakes.html

I found this article that defines 11 things that can kill intimacy.  Our book gives several different angles as to how to look at intimacy.  In one part intimacy is gained by social motivation to engage in warm, close and positive interpersonal relations, without any fear of rejection.  There is also a willingness to "experience a warm, close and communicative exchange with another person" (McAdams, 1980).

The following are the 11 items that can kill intimacy and those should be avoided in all relationship types from friendships to marriage. Dishonesty and silence, lack of trust, desire to change people, inability to express your needs and feelings, not listening, self centeredness, lack of respect, imbalance of power, unhealthy arguments, absence of touch, and extreme separateness.

Some people have a higher need for intimacy than others, but no matter what your level of intimacy those 11 items can kill a relationship.  Intimacy is not something that just happens; it is something that has to be worked on and can be ever changing and evolving.  If someone is willing to put the time and effort into a relationship they are more than likely going to have great returns from that relationship.  I am also sure there are other things that can be detrimental to the stability of a relationship, but I do think that these 11 are especially important to avoid if you do want a long last relationship.  Any one of them on their own could deflate a relationship and a combination of them would likely end the relationship.

The article can be found at http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Radun29.html

I know a lot of people especially girls want to get married someday, and want to find their true love so I researched what motivates us to find true love and found this article which I found very interesting.

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/how-to-find-true-love-2051038.html

Helen Fisher the women who dedicates most of her life on How to find true love believes there are four personality types.

"all of us conform to one of four personality types, which are controlled by different chemicals in the brain. These chemicals mould us, and cause us to be attracted to people who complement our personality types (see panel). There is the Explorer, a sensation seeker ruled by dopamine; the Builder, a respecter of authority driven by serotonin; the Director, analytical and ruled by testosterone; and the Negotiator, intuitive and fired by oestrogen. Negotiators need to connect with others on a deeply personal level, are very trusting and good at talking."

What personality type are you? and if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend are they compatible with you according to Helen Fisher?

So, first off - let me tell you - I don't go Googling things about semen.  Lol.  I actually Googled "crying," and this article came up.

I chose this article because it explains the physiology behind one of my favorite past times: kissing / making out.  I was goofing around on the web the other day and through digg.com (great website - go to it!) I found the website below.  It's an article called "Why We Kiss: the Science of Sex." It's fascinating, so I wanted to share this article with you.

 

The article explains that although the use of pheromones to create attraction is thought to not work for humans, chemicals are still used in communication.  The article outlines how women are more attracted to the scent of a man who can help them to produce healthier children.  It also explains that twice as many adults turn their head to the right than the left while kissing.  (You're all thinking about which side you prefer, aren't you?)

 

Another cool topic covered by the site is that men and women see kissing differently.  Most women would never have sex with someone without kissing them first but most men would.  And men are more likely to initiate French kissing because saliva contains testosterone, and testosterone can increase arousal.  Indications show that men can also gauge the amount of estrogen a woman has (indicator of fertility) via this method.

 

However, the most fascinating part of the article (for me) was kissing's effects upon hormone levels.  In general, kissing releases a ton of hormones that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but the site focuses on the levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and oxytocin (the bonding hormone).  In long-term relationships, cortisol levels dropped after kissing. And oxytocin levels increased ONLY in the males.  My girlfriend wasn't too happy to hear this, but I now understand partly why I enjoy kissing so much.

 

During a quick search for more information, I found the other link.  At howstuffworks.com, they have a lot of information about how kissing works, its history, effects, and the anatomy of a kiss. It also includes more information on kissing's effects upon dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline, too.

 

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22081/76045-kiss--science-sex

 

http://people.howstuffworks.com/kissing.htm

I am taking a class this semester that deals a lot with relationships and how men and women communicate. We recently started talking about the famous "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" ideas. This term was coined by author John Gray and Mr. Gray has made a killing through his book and seminars that tell his listeners why their relationship may not be working. I was unfamiliar with the content of these books and was slightly horrified when I learned what they are teaching. Gray outlines ways in which to communicate with a man:
Only speak for two minutes
Speak only about one topic at a time
Provide few, if any, details
Be aware that revealing emotions may cause him to pull away
Appreciate him for listening
No eye contact
Expect interruptions
I was appalled by the way Gray says women should talk to men. It seems that Gray thinks that in order to communicate with a man you should treat him like a five year old. I was very confused by "Be aware of revealing emotions". How are we supposed to get close to anyone without revealing our emotions and thoughts? Another that bothered me was that women are supposed to reward men for listening. Should we reward him with sex just because he listened for two minutes? What kind of message is that sending to men? Do what I want and I'll put out? While sex is a huge motivational tool I do not think it should be used just to get your partner to listen to you. I know a lot of people follow John Gray and really connect with what he is preaching, but I think it is completely bogus.
What do you guys think? Should we use sex in relationships to get what we want? Is sharing emotions bad for your relationship? If a man is aloof and uncommunicative what would be the motivation for fixing a relationship if women just accept that "that's how men are"?

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090824115811.htm

 

 

According to this website, women judge men's faces for attractiveness on two parts: sexually and non-sexually.  

 

The first part determines if you have the characteristics of being a good mate.  They're looking for qualities that will help them determine if you have high levels of androgen (testosterone).  According to evolutionary psychology, this is a highly desirable trait to look for in a partner since testosterone is linked to aggression, which will lead to better protection and more food.  These traits will include strong cheekbones, a square jaw, full lips, and over all proportions of the overall face.

 

The second part is overall attractiveness of the face.  If these proportions of the face are symmetrical or not is one key point in determining the attractiveness.   

 

More on this topic can be seen during a short video on the next link.

 

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/science-of-sex-appeal-attractive-facial-features.html

 

First of all, I love the discovery channel.

 

The video quickly explains that although as children, we all have very similar faces.  However, because of puberty, our faces will change and become more prominent for the men and finer for the women (generally).  According to the video, a strong does of these hormones will indicate good health and fertility.  Also, by saying that someone is attractive, you're saying that they have good genes and would make a good partner for reproduction.

I just received the new edition of Cosmo.  After a few years of arguing with my mom about subscribing to the popular magazine, her comments about how "risque" and "sexual" the magazine's content is have settled down to a tolerable level.

My friend has been in a pretty turbulent relationship for the past year.  For the most part, I'm the "go-to" person when any of my friends have "life crises" - not because I'm perfect or have no problems, but because I'm someone who always answers, will put everything down to listen, and gives un-sugar-coated advice.  Recently, after a series of late-night phone calls and hysterical crying sessions, they have decided to break up.

For my article analysis earlier this week I found an article that tested testosterone (T) levels in college undergrad. The researchers found that men in relationships had significantly less testosterone in the afternoon than did men who were not in committed relationships.  While reading out textbook I saw that "high levels of testosterone are associated with having affairs, while low levels are associated with better parenting."  (67) Finally, during Tuesday's class someone asked whether or not Tiger Woods had high levels of T.  All of these events made me more interested in the role testosterone plays in motivating peoples everyday lives.

The article I found is called "Tiger and Testosterone: Why T guys are Bad," and in it is discusses how high and low levels of T are associated with how men act.  As discussed in the book and in class, T underlies the mating effort, so from an evolutionary perspective, T is a good thing.  Moreover, it's quite obvious that men can reproduce more offspring, into a later stage in life, and that is why we have higher levels of T.  Many men value heightened levels of T and some desire more; after all, bigger is better.   On the other hand, lets be honest, high levels of T motivates many men to make decisions that they end up regretting the next morning.  For this reason, many men once they reach an older age are relieved they are no longer motivated by T because they can focus on other things.

The article finishes by discussing Tiger Woods and if he is assumed to have high levels of T.  The Dr. interviewed in the article believes that Tiger may have high levels because all of his life he has exerted attributes consistent with that of men who have increased levels of T.   

I found all of this quite interesting because it's really hard to tell whether it's best to have high or low levels of T.  Most men believe it's best to have more to increase competitiveness in many areas.  On the other hand, there are so many negative attributes that appear to go along with high levels of T that there is a strong  stereotype against it.  After hearing all of this it's pretty obvious that a happy medium would be most beneficial, but it's not like we get to choose what were born with.  
I'm really interested to hear what other people think of testosterone.  Would you have certain views and opinions about people if you knew they had high or low levels of T?  Women, would high or low levels influence your dating habits in any particular direction?   

Say what you want, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity once I saw the title of this article on askmen.com.  (That's a great website for general information about almost any topic relating to real life - versus which celebrity is pregnant with Z's baby!)

 

The link is below.  The article is entitled, "Be More Like Edward."

 

If you've been living under a rock, then you obviously have not heard of the Twilight series and have no idea who Edward is.  The series is a collection of four books about how a human girl and a vampire boy fall in love.  It is extremely popular with girls (mostly) around the age of fourteen to their early twenties.  Personally, I hated the ending to the series and Bella's (the human girl) inability to make up her mind on which boy she wanted (Edward or Jake).  But that's just me.

 

Now, let's get back to the article.  The whole premise of this article is that girls around the world are now holding out for boys that are more like Edward.  I found the below quote at fmylife.com:

 

"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML"

 

Again, let's get back to the point of the article.  It lists these four reasons for why Edward is so attractive to women (and ways to one up him).

 

1) Edward chooses Bella

2) Edward sacrifices his own comfort to be with Bella

3) Edward has impeccable manners

4) Edward is a total contradiction

 

I know a lot of girls who have read these books and having read them myself, I can testify that they're fairly romantic.  There's a lot of chivalry and quaint events that I think the girls are responding to and yearning for in their relationships.  This is just a personal hypothesis, but I wouldn't be surprised if the romance they experience from books releases some dopamine and Oxytocin in their brains, and that's the cause of all this fuss.

 

Either way, the site gives some good tips on how to one up that jerk, and it could possibly respark your relationship or help you find one.

 

 

 

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_300/368_be-more-like-edward.html