I want you to go to PostSecret http://www.postsecret.com/ or OneSentence http://www.onesentence.org/. Browse around. If you've never been here, you'll be addicted. Guaranteed. You will laugh. You will be surprised. Maybe even shocked. These are glimpses into private worlds. Many of them are also good examples of psychological needs.
What was your experience reading these? How do they make you feel? How do they make you think? Choose a couple of examples (provide them in your comment) and describe in detail how they reflect the presence or absence of a particular psychological need. Justify your answer by providing evidence from the book about that psychological need, and you linking it to the secret or OneSentence you've chosen.
One Sentence response 2/1/2011
My experience reading the posts on one sentence dot org depended on the sentences I read. Some posts were seriously sad and I have to wonder if these individuals have no one to talk to or no one to support them. On the other hand some of them are funny and I am sure to go back to look for a good laugh.
After reading a few I got to thinking about the various motives behind posting a sentence would serve the purpose of wellbeing and I realized that many of the posts I enjoyed were because I could relate to it like the post entitled “A Dad.” It reads: catching my sons vomit in my hand when he threw up last night made me realize just how far I would go for my children.
While most of us initially grimace in disgust, I have been in that situation and when necessary parents do what is needed given the situation. This meets the psychological need of autonomy (that chapter four talks about) for the parent to be able to self-govern the situation aspect of such an event. This automatically meets the psychological need of competence for the Dad that was made a little easier for him because the child is his own. This leads to the final psychological need of relatedness to other parents, to his child and hopefully his wife, not to mention others who read his blog.
The second blog entitled “Crazy” caught my attention and it reads, “I’ll never forget the day my Mom turned to me out of the blue and informed me that when she died she wanted everyone to dress as clowns for her funeral.” This made me laugh because of the sheer absurdity of the statement and secondly because maybe this Mom wants to make others look like fools for some reason, I don’t know. This psychological need may be more related to an achievement or a power factor within social needs mentioned in chapter four but, I can see how this is more directly linked to the need for autonomy in her last wish.
As I type this, It struck me that we don’t know the relationship but it’s possible that this Mother is using a shock factor to meet a deeper need of relatedness or deeper intimacy level with this child. Mom is certainly not afraid of being judged as being incompetent.
I went to both websites and I found each of them to be fairly interesting, although I did not become addicted to either. I had different reactions and different thoughts as I was reading the various posts. Some of my reactions and thoughts were positive, and then there were others I was disappointed by. One of the posts from ‘One Sentence’ that I liked was by Dmac 9000 and it reads, “Although my wife and I have never talked about it, whenever she replaces the roll of toilet paper, she always puts it on so the sheets come off the backside by the wall while I always put it so the sheets roll down the front”. This post reflects a few of the ‘Psychological Needs’ concepts discussed in chapter six. One of those concepts or ideas is Autonomy. For this post, both the husband and wife desired to place the toilet paper roll in the way they prefer. A related idea that can be used to help explain this example is Organismic Theories, which state that environments constantly change and that organisms must adapt, change, and grow to accommodate those changes. Both the husband and wife have to adapt to how the roll is placed each time they use toilet paper. This example can also be explained by Mechanistic Theories, which states that the environment acts on a person and the person reacts.
One post that I was disappointed by was by ‘Momofthree’ and it reads, “You know your life has completely downhill when you come home from Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and get beat up by your alcoholic husband, and you can’t call the cops because Christmas will be ruined forever for your kids”. I was disappointed in a few different ways by this one. The most obvious one is by the abusive actions by the alcoholic husband. It is very clear that he is searching for autonomy in his life, but unfortunately it is very clear that he is using the completely wrong ways to try to find it. It is also clear that both the husband and wife do not have complete competence of their then current situation. The husband does not have competence because he is dependent on a drug and because he is treating his wife, and therefore kids, in a way that is just plain unacceptable. The wife also does not have competence over her current situation either because, in my opinion, it is by far the lesser of two evils to call the cops to arrest her husband then it is to continue to allow her and her kids to deal with that kind of unhealthy environment. I say that because although calling the cops may ruin one Christmas for the kids, but if they continue to be exposed to the husbands behavior then they are much more likely to be affected by it throughout the rest of their lives. I hope the mom finally did call the cops and that their situation became bettered.
After reading through a couple posts on postsecret.com I found both funny and very sad posts. They made me think about what motivated some of these people to post these. The funny ones seem to be just to give the public a good laugh, but why would one want to post something sad? After reflecting upon this I realize a big reason is to satisfy the psychological need of relatedness. This is a forum for an online community. In many cases, if a person is feeling sad or lonely, they can find a similar post to theirs and feel as though they are not that alone in the world.
One post that stuck out to me both because it was intriguing and funny was one that stated: "if my adolescent students knew how much sex, drinking, or sexting I do, they would lose all of their respect for me". After reading this not only did I laugh, but I realized that this person is surely having some conflict with autonomy and competence. Obviously, this person enjoys their freedom. They enjoy the fact that they are able to engage in the activities they like, but battles with the fact that it could harm their reputation. Teachers are put on a higher moral standard for they are expected to set a good example for their students. This person wants to appear good at their job, and they probably are, but they cannot exercise complete autonomous behavior, because it could harm the career.
After finding that, I decided to check out onesentence.com. This site was much funnier and reminded me of texts from last night. After reading a bunch and getting completely side tracked, this one seemed pretty suitable to discuss. "I stopped complaining about school the day I found out my boyfriend was in special education and longed to be in a normal school." Again this is rather funny, but can encompass the psychological needs of competency and relatedness. Obviously being in a special education program could effect a person's ability to feel competent. We do not know why this person is in special ed, but since he is with someone outside of that environment, one can perhaps assume, that it is not too bad or debilitating. Also, since he sought out someone outside his environment than he is seeking relatedness from other sources.
After reading through a couple posts on postsecret.com I found both funny and very sad posts. They made me think about what motivated some of these people to post these. The funny ones seem to be just to give the public a good laugh, but why would one want to post something sad? After reflecting upon this I realize a big reason is to satisfy the psychological need of relatedness. This is a forum for an online community. In many cases, if a person is feeling sad or lonely, they can find a similar post to theirs and feel as though they are not that alone in the world.
One post that stuck out to me both because it was intriguing and funny was one that stated: "if my adolescent students knew how much sex, drinking, or sexting I do, they would lose all of their respect for me". After reading this not only did I laugh, but I realized that this person is surely having some conflict with autonomy and competence. Obviously, this person enjoys their freedom. They enjoy the fact that they are able to engage in the activities they like, but battles with the fact that it could harm their reputation. Teachers are put on a higher moral standard for they are expected to set a good example for their students. This person wants to appear good at their job, and they probably are, but they cannot exercise complete autonomous behavior, because it could harm the career.
After finding that, I decided to check out onesentence.com. This site was much funnier and reminded me of texts from last night. After reading a bunch and getting completely side tracked, this one seemed pretty suitable to discuss. "I stopped complaining about school the day I found out my boyfriend was in special education and longed to be in a normal school." Again this is rather funny, but can encompass the psychological needs of competency and relatedness. Obviously being in a special education program could effect a person's ability to feel competent. Not saying that those in these type of programs are not competent, but are presented with greater challenges. We do not know why this person is in special ed, but since he is with someone outside of that environment, one can perhaps assume, that it is not too bad or debilitating. Also, since he sought out someone outside his environment than he is seeking relatedness from other sources.
Some of the postings were funny, some were thought provoking, and some were just disturbing. It seems like a place where people can say anything they want anonymously and not have to be judged or face the consequences. There were a few about having affairs and the people had no remorse, so I think these people just want to flaunt their indiscretions, while others were of abuse and difficult situations and were probably more therapeutic for the author, but were upsetting to read. Even though these postings are by strangers, I never like to hear of abuse or someone being tortured by the people that are supposed to care about them. One of the postings that fit this was from OneSentence and it was by Elfy on 2/3/11. She wrote “It took me seven years to realize that when my mother sent me to him, she never wanted me helped, she wanted me drugged.” This post was a little disturbing and it is about a girl trying to relate with her mother. She thought her mother was trying to help her, which could increase their bond and communal relationship, but instead, the girl feels betrayed and wonders if her own mother wants a relationship at all with her.
Another posting I chose was “I will be the first in my family to not get a divorce” from PostSecret on 2/13/11. It seems to me like a person with an external perceived locus of causality. Perceived locus of causality (PLOC) describes the source of motivation for a person, and this person sounds like they have the external motivation caused by poor family relations to not follow in their footsteps. It doesn’t sound like internal motivation of being in love with the person and wanting to stay with them, it sounds like they are trying to trick the environment. As I said before, there were some funny moments. But I don’t think I would get addicted to these sites because there is so much sadness and negativity. I sometimes feel I see enough of that in everyday life; I don’t need to go searching for more.
Reading the content on these two website’s was very entertaining. It reminded me of when I would read “texts from last night.” Some of the posts were funny and light hearted, whereas some other were more somber and sad in nature. Either way it was people trying to express themselves and situations in their lives in unique ways. I began to wonder why these people chose these venues in which to express themselves and wondered if I would ever do something like this. I came to the conclusion that I would not ever post my personal life on the internet like this because I am a private person, as well as I have people to talk to if I need it. But what these websites made me realize is that some people don’t have people to share stories with, therefore need to use the internet and these websites in particular to gain a sense of relatedness. These people are dependent on other people’s “likes” and “comments” to feel a sense of connectedness or relatedness.
One “post” on postsecret.com that immediately jumped out to me was from Sarah. Sarah posted a valentine that was from her mom and dad; there was also a caption that said “ My only valentine this year was from my mom and dad.” This has to deal with relatedness on the most basic level. This “post” informs us that Sarah may not have a high degree of relatedness with people other than her immediate family. This is sad to me because everyone should have a variety of sources that provide people with a sense of relatedness. It can help with self-esteem issues as well as break down communication barriers. Another “post” from postsecret.com that dealt with relatedness was a valentine that said” these anonymous flowers are sent from me, you deserve to feel loved and admired regardless of whether or not you have a man in your life.” In my opinion this was obviously sent to a woman from her friend that cares a lot about her and understands that she is sad that she is alone on valentines day. It is a sweet gesture but I feel as though it highlights the fact that although you have amazing friends that care deeply about you, in the end the love of a significant other trumps all. I might be cynical in saying that but I believe some friends come and go but if you are lucky enough to find your true sole-mate, they will be there for you on a much deeper emotional level than any friend.
I think it is a natural phenomenon to enjoy hearing about someone else's problems. I visited both websites and I can't help but feel that I am meeting my psychological needs quite well, compared to the authors of these posts. You're absolutely right in saying that it's quite addicting and easy to lose track of time while reading these. My reaction to most of the onesentence.com stories was indifferent but there were some pretty funny, and 'OMG' stories. It's almost like reading the headlines of all the stories in the newspaper, some are more intriguing than others.
I decided to branch off from the main page with the latest updates and jump to one left by Riley on September 29th, 2006. It says 'Due to this summer's events, I'm now addicted to taking guys' virginity.' This was one of the posts that left me in awe and wondering what would motivate a girl to do emit those behaviors. I think this is an example of two psychological needs: competence and relatedness. Her desperation for forming communal relationships shows that she values her need to belong domain. Perhaps taking a guy's virginity is a challenge, and she likes the rewarding feeling of completing the test after.
On September 2nd, 2006, someone named Finster left a sentence saying 'My friend Bob loved his vinyl records so much that he used to obsess about which ones to save if his house caught fire but when it actually happened he chose his girlfriend instead.' I found this to be touching, and a great example of intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivators in our lives. In the context of a fire, humans think fast. Their engagement is affected by both intrinsic and extrinsic. The records would be considered an extrinsic motivator. Bob instead acted on the intrinsic psychological motivator, his girlfriend. This represents the relatedness part of psychological needs. Bob's actions in the fire are consistent with motivation research in that intrinsic motivators are stronger than extrinsic motivators.
I visited both websites and they immediately struck me as similar concepts to textsfromlastnight.com. I’ve visited textsfromlastnight.com because it’s usually pretty funny to read what other people have texted each other, and I’ve always assumed that it’s mostly college aged people. Seeing the comments on these sites were occasionally funny but for some reason I thought that it was more depressing overall. I think the fact that it was Valentine’s Day this week gave a lot of reasons for people to be sad and depressed, especially on the Post Secret site. While reading these it made me think that there is an overwhelming amount of sad and depressed people. But then I thought about it in a different way. Maybe people are just more prone to share their sad feelings on these types of internet sites as opposed to their happier thoughts. Here is one comment I found interesting: “I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day, until my married ex-husband called and wished me a happy one. Why do I still love him? It’s been 18 years!” This is clearly an example of someone who is missing the relatedness aspect of their psychological need. To quote from the book, “To be satisfying, that social bond needs to be characterized by the perceptions that the other person cares about my welfare and likes me.” This person is conflicted because she believes that her ex-husband cares about her but she doesn’t have that communal relationship that they once had. Another quote that I found is almost the exact opposite; “This will be my first Valentine’s Day alone in 7 years, and it’s exhilarating!!” This person has not been alone on Valentine’s Day for 7 years and it is likely that there has been a great amount of communal relationships in that time. This person has always had that aspect of relatedness on a communal level and is finding it exciting to not have to worry about another person’s feelings. I also thought that it was interesting that not a lot of people posted anything about competence related psychological needs. I was expecting to see more people talking about something that they mastered or accomplished but did not see such posts.
I’ve known about postsecret for a while now, so I read them every Sunday. Reading them, I always seem to feel the emotion that each secret displays, whether it is sadness, happiness, anger, disappointment, or love. I enjoy reading them so much because it’s a chance to catch a glimpse into the lives of others and discover experiences that people across the world are having. They make me realize that every person has a different story. I think it satisfies the need for relatedness because there are thousands of people who submit their secrets to postsecret and every postcard is an opportunity to feel connected to someone even if you have no idea who they are.
One postcard that stood out is “This will be my first Valentine’s Day alone in 7 years, and it’s exhilarating!!” It stood out to me because I think it’s really important to be okay with being alone in order to be happy in a relationship. I think the person who wrote this secret wasn’t happy in her past relationships and she’s grown to know that it’s okay to be alone and it can be really exciting. I think they’re finally meeting their need for autonomy because they’ve decided they don’t need a partner to be happy. They’ve most likely experience high volition because they feel free in the fact that they’re not in a relationship. I think there could be a presence or absence of relatedness but it’s hard to tell by one sentence. The person obviously is alone on Valentine’s Day but the fact that they said its exhilarating means that she’s happy and so I think her need for relatedness may be met by other people such as friends or family.
Another secret that I liked is “I will be the first in my family to NOT get a divorce”. I think the need for autonomy and relatedness is present in this secret. Autonomy is very much met because she is deciding for herself that she won’t get divorced. She is self-determined and has perceived choice in that she is choosing to not get a divorce. Although this woman is autonomous, her locus of causality may be external because I feel that a main reason she won’t get divorced is because everyone else in her family has. I think the need for relatedness has been met because she’s in a happy relationship that she wants to be in for the rest of her life. She’s in a communal relationship that consists of a loving, caring relationship.
I looked through both of the websites listed and I felt like the things written were very different from each other. The posts on postsecret for the most part were about Valentine’s Day and love while the posts on onesecret had more variety to them. I think I would check postsecret again once this holiday is further past to see what else people are posting on there. I found the posts on postsecret to be rather sad for the most part. I think that Valentine’s Day is often a lonely day for many people so it doesn’t surprise me that these are the types of posts on there. On onesecret the posts were more comical which reminded me of another website that many college students post to (textfromlastnight).
My emotional reaction to these websites was different for each one. My reaction to postsecret was that I felt very sad for the people making the comments, it seems like they must feel very alone. An example that I thought depicted this loneliness said “In honor of Valentine’s day, my secret is that I would like to remarry.” Like I mentioned previously, a lot of people feel lonely on this holiday; everywhere we look there are couples and events being held in love’s honor. Many people struggle with this and I think this individual was dealing with that (as were many of the people that were posting on this site). I would say that this individual would rank very high in relatedness. Clearly there is a strong psychological need that is driven them to want to be in a relationship. For most people companionship is very important and this person does not seem to be an exception. I would guess that this individual might be higher than most in relatedness because they have no one to talk to about it and therefore feel the need to post it online. I also think that this person might rank lower in autonomy. Specifically, this person seems to have a low level of perceived locus of control of causality; this is seen just by the way they word the post. On the other hand, onesecret consists more of people telling something that is true and making it funny. For example, one post states “I was diagnosed with PCOS yesterday and instead of being sad about my potential infertility, I rejoiced in the fact that I'm not diabetic and can have a family regardless of my crappy ovaries.” It is interesting that someone would want to post this for the world to see rather than being upset about it. This made me think that this individual would rate very highly in the psychological need for relatedness. They are going through something difficult and express it to a bunch of strangers online rather than talking to someone that is close to them. I would also take a guess that this person would rank moderately high in autonomy. Clearly, the environment is acting upon them with possible infertility so they are controlling their behaviors by creating comedy in the situation as a coping mechanism for what has happened. This person is taking control of their behaviors rather than shutting down due to the unfortunate occurrence. Lastly, I would say that the majority of posts seemed to be from people that did not depict a lot of competence. The majority of the posts were either depressing, or taking something unhappy and making a joke out of it. Although, it makes sense that competence is not going to be displayed when all of the comments are about something negative; having a comment that exuded competence that was in essence complaining about something seems like an oxymoron.
I checked out both of the wed sites. I found out that I can relate to a lot of the post, it’s nice to see that I’m not a lone out there. Some of them made me feel sorry for the person writing it, others made me laugh. It seems to me that these web sites give people the chance to ease their mind. I know firsthand that holding something in for a long time can be very stressful and draining.
I think the funniest one that I have come across so far is one from onesentence.org, it said, “I got an email from a client this morning telling me that they had no internet access”. This made me laugh, I know a couple people that would do that! After reading some funny ones I decided to go under the break up list. The very last post on the first page got me. It said “It was when he wanted "our song" back, he knew it was over”. I never had a “song” for either one of my ex’s, but every time I heard Fireflies or Teenage Dream my heart sinks. This one has a lot to do with relatedness. We want to all have a successful relationship and have the special social bond with someone. It’s a communal relationship; it satisfies the want/ need for relatedness.
On postsecret.com, I just looked through the first page, which happened to be all of Valentine’s Day. There were some sad ones and some happy ones, but the one that stuck out to me was the one that read “I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day until my married ex husband called and wished me a happy one. Why do I still love him, it’s been 18 years”. My ex boyfriend and I broke up in the middle of December, and I think about him all the time. For this one I see the psychological needs of competence and relatedness. I picked competence for the simple reason that once a broke up happens your competence levels go way down, at least mine did. We all want to be good at something, especially relationships. The want to be with the one you love keeps you driving for the next goal in relationships, no matter what that is. But being in a relationship can bring its challenges too. From these challenges we learn and grow into a deeper or in some cases and ending relationship. Without competence within yourself, how are you going to have competence in your relationship? You don’t, and I learned that the hard way.
I love post secret !!! Every other Sunday at work I read the new posts. Yes, I am addicted and I have actually thought about buying the books. I am not sure why I enjoy reading these secrets so much. Often times it makes me realize that my life is great. It also makes you appreciate all the little moments in life. When I’m in public places I like to people watch and often find myself wondering what their secrets are. I have not yet submitted a secret but when I find one that I can relate to I am so pleasantly surprised that someone I have never met can word my emotions so perfectly on one post card.
With it being so close to Valentine’s Day it is hard to get away from love/loneness posts. One of the posts I found to be extremely sad was, “I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day until my married ex-husband called and wished me a happy one. Why do I still love him? It’s been 18 years.” This is a great example of important intimate relationships are in fulfilling the psychological of relatedness. I feel like this woman is lacking intimate relationships. The fact that she did not even know that it was Valentine’s Day is sad. On Valentine’s Day I get several texts from friends, family, and of course my boyfriend just saying that they love me. I always thought that this was unnecessary but it is actually kind of nice to hear from your love ones. Does she have any close relationships? Not one person, besides her ex-husband, cared enough to send her an email, a text, a phone call just saying that I love you? No wonder she still loves him after 18 years of being separated, because she has not been able to fulfill her need of relatedness with anyone else.
The other post that I thought was interesting was, “This will be my first Valentine’s Day alone in seven years, and it’s exhilarating!!” I think that this individual has been lacking autonomy. I think that some relationships can undermine fulfilling the need for autonomy. It sounds like he/she is just getting out of a serious relationship or divorce and they are thrilled about the new freedoms that come with the separation.
What was your experience reading these? I thought it was really neat how people can simplify a meaningful experience down to something so short and yet it still holds its meaning.
How do they make you feel? A few of them that were weird I could actually connect to and someof them were kind of sad and a few of them about cheating made me a little angry.
How do they make you think? Choose a couple of examples (provide them in your comment) and describe in detail how they reflect the presence or absence of a particular psychological need. Justify your answer by providing evidence from the book about that psychological need, and you linking it to the secret or OneSentence you've chosen.
FIRST EXAMPLE: "Although my wife and I have never talked about it, whenever she replaces the roll of toilet paper, she always puts it in so the sheets come off the backside by the wall while I always put it so the sheets roll down the front." The psychological need is to maitain the relatedness by not hindering a relationship over something as small as the orentation of the TP. It could also be looked at as supporting his wife's competence, because if he were to say that she is not doing it his way then he would be interefering with her percieved competence in doing such a simple task.
SECOND EXAMPLE: "Even before getting completely stoned with my dad, uncle, and cousins that Thanksgiving, I knew I had the best family on earth"
The psychological motivators were social in nature mainly releatedness since the fact the person pointed out the fact that they shared the common interest of getting stoned that it made them the best family. Also it could be looked at as a social learning theory because if his/her family accepts getting stoned than it makes that person more likely to replicate those behaviors.
What was your experience reading these? I found it rather intriguing how people could simplify such meaningful things down to one sentece and they still retain the emotion.
How do they make you feel? Some of them I could relate to in an odd way the ones about cheating on someone mad me angry and some of the ones about loosing someone made me sad for the person.
How do they make you think? It made me wonder why would people feel the need to share this with the online world. Is it because it makes them feel better or is it something more.
Choose a couple of examples (provide them in your comment) and describe in detail how they reflect the presence or absence of a particular psychological need. Justify your answer by providing evidence from the book about that psychological need, and you linking it to the secret or OneSentence you've chosen.
Example ONE:"Although my wife and I have never talked about it, whenever she replaces the roll of toilet paper, she always puts it in so the sheets come off the backside by the wall while I always put it so the sheets roll down the front."
This one I could relate to because I live with my boyfiend that I have been with for over 3 years and there is certain little things we do differently around the house especially laundry and I will just do it my way instead of confronting him because I don't want to hinder his percieved competence of doing that certain small thing because it could also hinder relatedness and possibly the relationship. It also shows how someone knows what is worth confronting someone about, if someone tells you that you are incompetent at placing toilet paper on the roll right I think there are bigger issues.
eXAMPLE 2:"Even before getting completely stoned with my dad, uncle, and cousins that Thanksgiving, I knew I had the best family on earth."
This is completely about releated ness because the person states that the fact they all share getting stoned together makes them the best family ever. It could also be looked at in a social learing kind of way like the persons family sees getting stoned as not a bad thing so the person shares the same beliefs.
I've been reading PostSecret since I first heard about it nearly three years ago. The secrets are always interesting. Sometimes I think they're ridiculous, but a lot of the time I can relate. A few that I have read really make me think about my own life and my own emotions. Many are about the past--such as secrets that the authors have never told anyone else. Some would be hurtful to those involved if the secrets were revealed to a specific person face to face, but in the context of an anonymous postcard sent to be posted on an anonymous website makes it much easier to get it off their chest. I love that some secrets are aimed specifically for one person, others are for several or many people (some the author doesn't even know, such as http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J7CTiEGiHfM/TVgjMX7a6-I/AAAAAAAAOJk/bgJ6I_HqDCI/s1600/justwantedyoutoknow.jpg ), and still others are a plea or a broadcast sent out to the air or their deity or just whoever will listen. I think that this author in particular (It doesn't show on the jpg because it's actually an animated gif and the link doesn't link correctly), who wrote, "I judge you based on the cards I ring up for you at Hallmark," has a need to relate to her customers (I'm deciding she's female based on handwriting alone). She probably gets bored at work and needs something to liven up the day. She actually does pretty much the same thing I am doing right now: I'm judging her based on the postcard she sent in to postsecret. Her secret is also a testimony to her need for autonomy. Sure, she has to ring up cards and gifts and other items as well as tell customers where they can find certain things, but she can do little things to make her own decisions about what she's going to think about. The job might get her body to do the work, but she keeps her mind and can do what she wishes within it.
Another post secret entry is quite a promise or wish that will take work to make come true. The reason I say this is because it has no time limit. This author dreams to never get a divorce because everyone in her family has divorced their significant others. While it is a noble goal and one I hope she achieves, it seems less like a secret and more like she's crossing her fingers in hopes that it won't happen. Her wording at the beginning, "I will" instead of "I hope to" suggests that she is going to be quite deliberate about it. Here, I think she is expressing her autonomy--she doesn't want to go the route her family has gone and instead wants to carve a new path for herself--as well as demonstrating her need for belonging. She wishes to be with someone from a certain point in time until one of them dies.
I had never heard of OneSentence until this assignment was posted, and it's an interesting twist. They are more enigmatic. Without a picture behind them or the same feel as PostSecret, there is a bit more to decipher. Some have the same heavy, secretive feel of PostSecret, while many are just funny one sentence stories to read. There is one in particular that hits home for me, because it's actually quite similar to my family situation: http://www.onesentence.org/stories/3913/ . Sentences like this one are sad and feel like a cry for attention and love. It's possible that this author has other people to support her in her life and this grandmother incident is just a small chink in her armor, but it's also possible that her grandmother's agreement with her self-deprecating statement has left her emotionally imbalanced. And that's pretty damn sad.
I visited the one sentence archive. Personally, I thought this site was really cool. It was just a bunch of random comments about life in general. It made me feel happy because a lot of the comments were humorous in nature. I am not quite sure what to think of it all though. I suppose I think the majority are just a bunch of random expressions that carry little to strong emotional appeal.
One of the best quotes I have was “My dad stopped complaining about my bad grades when I won $100 for a short story I wrote out of boredom during math class.” I picked this one because this is how I felt during all my classes in high school. I try more and do better now that I am here at college. This comment reflects psychological need of competence in a person’s life. The person is uninterested in math or is not challenged by it enough. So, he/she decides to do something else that is more fulfilling to them. In the end he/she completed the goal and got a sweet cash prize out of it too.
Another quote that I like was “A couple of times down the hot metal slide and no one would know that I had wet my pants.” This one shows the psychological need of relatedness. No one wants to lose respect for peeing their pants. Naturally, you would try to cover it up so that you could go on with your life. It might be hard to make and maintain social bonds and attachments if you’re swimming in your own pool of filth.
As I read through the PostSecret website, I felt sad that some of the things on the site were true. I was in shock how truthful and beautiful the statements were. However, it made me think that if people were more honest about their feelings, maybe these would not be so hard to read. Even though they were shocking to me, I realize that people are thinking and feeling these things daily. Part of the reason why I chose to become a counselor was because I feel comfortable sharing my uncomfortable thoughts, and I wanted to be a person who could listen when other people needed to share their thoughts too.
One example, “My Only Valentine this Year was from my Mom and Dad”, was so honest and confident, but not self-pitying. As I thought of the chapter I connected this statement with autonomy, competence, and relatedness. First, this statement may be one that actually says “I don’t need a valentine to make me happy”; therefore, they are proving their autonomy by choosing what makes them happy and what doesn’t. Second, the statement shows that the person is knowledgeable about their situation and not in denial; they are a competent person and true to themselves. Lastly and most noticeably, the statement speaks to relatedness. Valentines day is a day were special relationships are celebrated, like a romantic relationship or a familial relationship. Either way, the writer of this statement is showing their need for relatedness by stating that they have no significant other to share Valentines Day with. On the other hand, the writer is also displaying that their relationship with their Mom and Dad is very close. In the end, I know that the writer of this statement will be ok because they have a solid family support network and while waiting for a Valentine, they have the autonomy and competence to pass the time pleasantly.
I read through both the PostSecret and the One Sentence websites. I thought there were some very funny posts that were probably put on there with the intent to get people to laugh. There were also some posts that were extremely sad and kind of concerned me actually. Some of them were just down right scary, if they were true stories. As I was reading through them, I found that those that were sad stuck out the most to me. I wondered what would make somebody put something so sad up for others to read? And anonymously? I have found from past experience that people who post things that are sad (like facebook for example) generally are looking for some sort of feedback, mostly sympathy, from other people. This made think that those people are probably missing the psychological need of Relatedness.
One example is from Post Secret is “If my adolescents knew how much sex, drinking, and sext messaging I do, they would lost all of their respect for me.” Obviously the person who posted this was motivated by something. They may have nobody else to tell this to, but they are wanting to just tell someone—anyone that will read what they have to say. They are being motivated by the need to relate to people and develop relationships with them. Maybe this person doesn’t have any close relationships where she can disclose this kind of information. If he/she doesn’t have that, they will be motivated to find it somewhere.
An example I found on One Sentence is “You know your life has gone completely downhill when you come home from Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and get beat up by your alcoholic husband, and you can’t call the cops because Christmas will be ruined forever for your kids”. This post was really sad for me to read. This mom is obviously asking for help by posting this for others to read. I took a violence class last semester, and many times abused women have had all ties cut off from friends/family. So, she probably doesn’t have any relatedness in her life at all and this is her way of reaching out. She is being motivated to connect with others and develop close emotional bonds with others. It is a need every human has. Also, from reading her actual post she is motivated to not call the cops because she doesn’t want to ruin her kids Christmas. By making the decision to call, or not call, the cops, she is allowing herself to have autonomy over the situation (good or bad) and that is also a psychological need that every person has.
I read Post Secret quite often so I decided to check out OneSentence instead. A lot of the posts are funny in nature, while a few are more serious. I feel like I can relate to quite a few of the posts because I’ve either been there done that or I know someone who has been in a similar situation. Reading statements such as these really gets me thinking about all the little moments I experience in my life and how each moment is so precious. It’s so important for people to take notice of the little things in life because those are some of the best, funniest moments you’ll have!
Example 1: written by lonely lisa
It was then, as I sat at the dining room table while one roommate resided in her bedroom with her boyfriend, another roommate was talking on the phone to her boyfriend, and my third roommate's boyfriend was making her dinner, that I knew that I was truely alone.
This post illustrates the absence of relatedness. The writer clearly feels like she doesn’t belong and maybe even has no friends. For her, feeling that you belong might mean that she needs to have a boyfriend because all her other roommates have one and they look like they’re happen. She isn’t getting her needed social interactions with her roommates which might also lead to feeling like she doesn’t belong.
Example 2: written by paul
It was the first time my work had been reviewed as exceptional in a national publication and I sobbed deeply while a sense of vindication infused me with relief.
I think the writer had previously been missing a feeling of competence in his life. Maybe he had been struggling to get his work published because reviewers maybe didn’t think his work was good enough. After his work was reviewed as exceptional, he must have felt a huge rush of increased feeling of competence.
I had never been to either of these websites before and I loved them! I hope people really write true statements on there and that they don’t just make stuff up because that would ruin the entire premise. I read many of them on both sites and I laughed at some, I felt sad for others, I empathized with several of them and my heart was touched by others. It really reminded me of how lucky I am to have all the people in my life that I do and that they love me so much.
I think most of them that I read had something to do with our psychological need for relatedness. There was post on OneSentence that said "We may have been in hospital together for only a week but you were the best non-girlfriend I ever had.” This shows that this person’s psychological need for relatedness was at least temporarily met. Relatedness is the psychological need to establish emotional bonds and relationships with other people of many types including friendships. This man posted that she was the best “non-girlfriend” which indicates that there relationship could range in its intensity but it is evident that they found some common ground and fulfilled each others psychological need for relatedness during their hospital stay. The text states that forming these attachments comes easily and many times all it takes is proximity and spending time together to form friendships.
Another psychological need example was found in one of my favorite posts that I read on PostSecret. It says “This is my first Valentine’s Day alone in 7 years and it is exhilarating!” In my opinion, this speaks to this woman’s psychological need for autonomy in relationships being met. I feel like this woman I truly feeling perceived choice. This means that she feels that she had choice in the decision making of being alone for Valentine’s Day. Maybe she was in an abusive or unhappy relationship and that fact that she is now free from it really does make her feel exhilarated. Most importantly, she feels free which is what our psychological need for autonomy is all about.
What was your experience reading these? How do they make you feel? How do they make you think?
I looked at both sites; however, I had a better understanding of the posts on onesentence.org (it was also because I couldn't figure out how to look at archives on postsecret and they recent ones were all about Valentine's Day). I had a very interesting experience with reading these sentences. I was intrigued by some of the sentences that people wrote. These sentences were sometimes easy to understand, yet others looked simple but had very complex meaning. Some stories were sad or shocking and there were some that were happy and made me laugh. It made me think about why these people posted their thoughts and stories on this website. Was it for the fun of it or was it to get the attention of just one person that would maybe say something and make a difference?
Choose a couple of examples (provide them in your comment) and describe in detail how they reflect the presence or absence of a particular psychological need. Justify your answer by providing evidence from the book about that psychological need, and you linking it to the secret or OneSentence you've chosen.
Example 1: "Her mom was the one who died and she asked me if I was okay."
This post was all about relatedness. This girl was so close to the writer that she was willing to put him/her first before her own needs of comfort. This relationship would have to be very communal for this to occur. Even the closest of friends may not have this kind of transaction. I can relate to this story because when my grandpa died, at the funeral my mom would ask other people if they were okay before they could ask her.
Example 2: "I couldn't understand why they all laughed at me when I suggested that Morse Code should be put on doors for blind people."
Competence was portrayed in this post. This girl thought she was being smart when she said this but she misunderstood the meaning of 'morse code.' Because of her friends feedback (which was not positive), she became worried about their reaction. They should have reacted differently or explained what she said wrong. I've said silly things like this many times without realizing it and when people start to laugh, I ask what's so funny. When they tell me, I tend to laugh along because I have a decent failure tolerance when it comes to situations like this. The girl in the post may or may not have a high or low failure tolerance.
This was quite experience. I had never heard of these websites before. I am surprised the willingness people had to share there feelings on postsecret. Some were not so scandalous or secretive but others were kind of shocking. I guess I would be kind of scared to post something Super secretive just in case somehow someone could link it back to me or something. It is a little hard to pinpoint exactly what motivated people to post their secrets. They are all obviously intrinsically motivated to tell these secrets because there isn't really any obvious external reward for doing it (although I could be wrong..) What first comes to my mind is that they are all lacking relatedness. It seems like they have these secrets which they don't feel that they're able to tell people close to them and so they might feel theyre missing relatedness. They might have a high need for relatedness. They probably do not feel autonomy support, and think that telling these secrets to stangers might fulfill that need for autonomy. They might have very low sense of autonomy. Maybe from the mistakes they have made they don't feel there would be acceptance from others or they have self blame.
One postcard I read was short and said: my gay love for a straight man breaks my heart. This particular individual might have a very high need for relatedness. Many homosexuals and lesbians probably feel little relatedness with others and their community. He might not feel connected or like he belongs. He might have low need for competence and is unable to deal effectively with the present circumstance and therefore needed to tell his secret. He might feel very little autonomy in the situation, unable to control who he loves. He might not feel like his love for that individual is his choice at all. He also might have very little autonomy support, therefore he may be in controlling: environment, relationships, social contexts etc. He may feel pressure to act in a "prescribed" way of feeling, behaving, and thinking. From this situation with little autonomy support it could be detrimental to many other areas of his life. In this situation he may feel there is no structure. He might not have clear guidance or know what is expected of him in this situation to "achieve desired outcomes". Lacking support and guidance in this situation might not nurture his need for competence.
The other interesting post on post secret was: if my adolescent students knew how much sex, drinking, or sext messaging I do they would all lose their respect for me. They maybe feel like they don't have autonomy, they don't have a conscious choice or control over their decisions. This person might be a sex addict or alcoholic and it seems that she is embarrassed of her actions. This individual might feel low relatedness and disconnected especially from her students. This person might have low competence and doesn't feel like they are able to do things right. This particular teacher may feel little autonomy support and therefore provide little autonomy support as well. This can be crucial to students as the books says having autonomy support has "strong implication for the subsequent motivation, engagement, development, learning, performance, and psychological wellbeing of the students."
My experience reading these was exactly as you had predicted. I was instantly addicted. I even went to both sites and read through almost three months worth of sentences and secrets. Some of them are crazy, boring, funny, horrifying, and sad. It made me realize that there are so many people out there just like me; but also, so many people out there EXTREMELY different from me! It made me feel good that we live on a planet full of such diverse people. These site give people a really neat outlet. Below are a few of the sentences and/or secrets I have chosen:
Emms
My friends can't decide whether to be creeped out or amused by the fact that I have it bad for the girl who was my roommate for a week in a mental hospital.
tags: looney bin crazy girl love crush friends mental health [add]
2011-02-03 09:10:17 / Rating: 111.25
Right away when I read this post I was reminded of the relatedness need. I am assuming that in that short period of time they both needed a communal relationship and found that within the other patient they were sharing a room with. That need being solved in such a desperate time is not going to be forgotten so that explains why they can't stop thinking about eachother.
Toby
When I was two, I taught my five year old brother how to undo the child-lock on the kitchen cupboards.
tags: childhood practicality [add]
2010-09-27 14:27:36 / Rating: 210.75 /
Upon reading this post I was reminded of the desire to be competent because everyone desires to interact with their envoronment effectively. The five year old brother was not interacting with his surroundings successfully and the two year old was probably very proud to show off his superior competence while also aiding his brother and further facilitating their bond.
I visited the postsecret site. A lot of these postcards that people have sent in to this site are really sad and some were pretty entertaining to read and look at. There were some that I felt like I really did relate to. One that I felt like I related to was the very first one that showed up. It said, “I am dreading the day I see photos of your wedding on facebook”. Another one that related to me was the one that said, “My only valentine I got this year was from my mom and dad.” This one could mean a couple different things. The person who wrote this could be sad that the only people who would send them a valentine was their parents. On the other hand they could be confident with themselves and just saying that they don’t need a boyfriend to send them a Valentine’s Day present. These are talking about the need for relatedness. These people that sent in these postcards are obviously lacking some type of relatedness, whether it be from a friend or a significant other. Everyone needs some type of relatedness in their life. If we are missing autonomy, competence, or relatedness we feel these feelings of being sad or upset.
What Was Your These reading experience? How do they make you feel? How do they make you think?
I've never been in any of these pages but knew he had pages of this style. I do not think what you see on these pages is very different from what people do on facebook or twitter. People have the need to rest our lives, others try to know and understand our problems, trying to give some meaning to our acts or waiting for the approval of others to tell us if we do things. The only difference from facebook or twitter is that our comments are anonymous and do not have a receptor known or concrete.
Choose a couple of examples (provide Them in your comment) and describes in detail How They Reflect the Presence or Absence of a Psychological particular need. Justify your answer by Providing Evidence from the Psychological Need That book about, and you linking it to the secret or OneSentence you've chosen.
Story # 3901 Maya
Not long after my mother left us, my father Said He Would leave if one of us Did not Admit breaking the old, battered lamp in the sitting-room.
This phrase of one sentence I think it's terrible, an abusive father with the advantage of the fear of ditching of the blackmailing girls and abused girls
In this case the need is found beaten to Affiliate and intimacy, defined as "establihsing, Maintaining or Restoring a positive, affective Relationship with Other person or persons" as the girls fear the abandonment of his father.
Is not technology wonderful? story # 3844
The Man Who Sexually Assaulted me last year and made me Into the broken mess I am today just friend request me on Facebook.
In the sexual assault is always looking for the robber having control over another person, feel that is who controls the situation, decides to do and how. This is very clear and when the definition of power bucamos "impact, control, or Influence over Another person, group, or the worl large. " Hence the need that this phrase describes the need for power.
I read some entries on both OneSentence and PostSecret. I was first surprised by the wide variety of entries. There were people who were sad, troubled, happy, and excited. I wondered why some of these people would want to put these very private feelings out for the world to see. After some thinking, I realized they were seeking relatedness, but this is a different type of relatedness than what we usually think about. With the internet, people are able to get relatedness in an anonymous way. People they have never met can comment on how they’re feeling without jeopardizing a friendship. This type of relatedness has advantages and disadvantages.
The first thing I found interesting was on PostSecret and said “This year I’d rather be by myself and alone on Valentine’s Day than be with you and feel lonely the rest of my life”. I think this shows an interesting point in relatedness. Though we all want to have that social contact, there is a certain point that it becomes worth it, and we would rather be alone. It also shows that it is possible to be lonely or lacking in relatedness and be with people. In order to have relatedness, we need people who care about our well being, and we can trust. Simply being surrounded by people does not fulfill this need.
The other post secret that drew my attention was “I am dreading that day I see photos of your wedding on Facebook”. Though I do not know the back story behind this post, I thought that this might be an ex-girlfriend who still has feeling for her ex. I also thought that he may have cheated on her with the girl that he is not marrying. First, this shows that she is lacking the relatedness that he used to provide for her. She misses those feelings they shared and having someone who truly cared about her well-being. If she was cheated on, this also may have taken away some of her autonomy. Her boyfriend who cheated took the control away from her, and she no longer had any control in her relationship. I was once told “The person who cares less in the relationship has all the control”. When he cheated on her, he became the person that cared less and therefore, he had all the control. She had no autonomy in a part of her life that she should, and that is probably a large reason she still has feelings for an engaged man. Though I realize I made a lot of assumptions about this post, I think that is what we are required to do when we only have one sentence.
I looked at www.oncesentence.org. My experience reading these is mostly humor. Every once in a while there is one that is sad or that requires deep thinking, but mostly these are meant to be funny. They made me smile and sit back and marvel at how life can put us, provide us, and create for us, such peculiar situations.
They are meant to tell a story or summarize an entire feeling into one sentence. I can picture some of the people saying these quotes and am able to associate that with some people I know. This is a quote that I found and enjoyed.
(As she pointed her phone at me and said, "Let me show you some pictures of my cats," my heart sank as I noted the photo caption "1 of 158.")
For this class specifically, the whole website is about relatedness. People are trying to reach out to each other and leave their mark, gain some kind of significance by putting their thoughts out to the public. They may be humorous, or serious, or humorous disguising seriousness. People often live lives where no one really understands them or they feel disconnected from society. Websites like post secret and one sentence help mitigate that feeling. I found it particularly interesting to view the ratings on one sentence. It got to the point where after reading the sentence, I could predict if the rating would be high or low or in the middle. The cat quote above was very high.
This quote talks about competence.
I was 46-years-old by the time I solved my first Rubik’s Cube.
It shows that people are always striving for new challenges. In this particular case, this person was trying to solve a Rubik Cube. I would assume that it took him quite a while, obviously not 46 years, but a substantial amount of time by his standards because it had significance to him to place on this website.
What was your experience reading these? How do they make you feel? How do they make you think?
After reading the posts on postsecret.com I was emotionally torn between laughing and feeling sorry for the people who submitted the posts. They make me feel like I am pretty well off compared to most of these people. They seem to have awkwardly funny sayings which reflect their lives or sad sayings reflecting the disappointment in their lives. They make me think that either the people that submitted a majority of these posts have a good sense of humor or are very depressed. Also, they make me realize how much I enjoy my regular life without any of these posts having correlation to it.
Choose a couple of examples (provide them in your comment) and describe in detail how they reflect the presence or absence of a particular psychological need. Justify your answer by providing evidence from the book about that psychological need, and you linking it to the secret or OneSentence you've chosen.
The first post that I chose to comment on from postsecret.com is the post that says “This year I’d rather be by myself and alone on Valentine’s Day than be with you and feel alone for the rest of my life.” The post tells me that this person lacks relatedness with their significant or ex-significant other. Relatedness is defined in Chapter 6 as the psychological need to establish close emotional bonds and attachments with other people, and it reflects the desire to be emotionally connected to and interpersonally involved in warm relationships. The person who wrote this post is lacking from a close emotional bond with their significant other which is evident when they say that they feel alone even while being with them.
The next post that I chose to comment on is the post that says “If my adolescent students knew how much sex, drinking, or sext messaging I do, they would lose all their respect for me.” The person who wrote this comment is suffering from the lack of psychological need of competence. Competence is defined by Chapter 6 as the psychological need to be effective in interactions with the environment, and it reflects the desire to exercise one’s capacities and skills and, in doing so, to seek out and master optimal challenges. The challenge that this teacher is facing is effectiveness in teaching her students to not take part in the activities that she does.
I enjoyed reading postsecret.com. The first time I came across PostSecret was when I was at Barnes & Noble with one of my friends when we were in high school. We were flipping through the one of the books together and and I clearly remember her saying “Some people are so weird”, but I thought it was beautiful. I love how people use art to creatively share some of the most personal aspects of their lives with the world on PostSecret. Reading the posts on the websites at first made me feel connected to people I've never even met until I realized that they very well could be people I know. It reminds me that you never truly know what anyone else is going through. PostSecret may be the only outlet the anonymous believe they have. It reminded me of one of the biggest life lessons I have learned: even people you think you know well could be dealing with things you would never imagine.
One of the PostSecrets that I enjoyed reading was “You make the worst coffee in the world. But I love you wayyy too much to tell you and I will always drink it anyway. I thought it was very sweet that the author loves their partner so much that they will regularly drink something that tastes awful just to spare the feelings of the person they love. I thought this PostSecret reflects the presence of relatedness because the author clearly has a close emotional bond and attachment to their significant other and cares about them so much that they will suffer to protect his/her feelings.
I thought the PostSecret that said “This year I'd rather be by myself and alone on Valentine's Day than be with you and feel lonely the rest of my life” was a great example of the absence of relatedness. Our textbook stresses the importance that in order for the psychological need for relatedness to be satisfied, social bonds involve caring and liking. The author of this PostSecret made it obvious that the relationship he/she was previously in was not at all fulfilling his/her need for relatedness. It is apparent that the PostSecret author is so much more content fulfilling their need for autonomy by preferring to be alone on Valentine's Day than to be spending it with their ex.
I can officially say I am addicted to the idea of this website. Very interesting. I had mixed emotions about the examples, some are incredibly sad and maybe worrisome. It seems a few are almost a cry for help. For example, "I am dreading the day I see your wedding on Facebook." Along with the picture, I feel with this person is unhappy without the control of the situation, may be representing high autonomy.
The other picture I chose was the voo-doo doll I made of you didn't work. First, I really wonder the story behind this, is it serious? Why would you make such a strong statement. Maybe the person had a very close relatedness with the person and it ended badly or maybe this person wanted no such closeness.
Some postings were sad; some were funny. All were entertaining and thought provoking. This is the first one that stuck out to me: “After my grandmother passed away I saved a voice mail of her singing "It's somebody's birthday" on my phone. It means a lot to me that she always called on my birthday to sing me this song. This particular recording is still sent out to every member of my family on their birthday. She passed away in October of 2009.” This posting pertains to the relatedness section in our book. Relatedness is the need to establish close emotional bonds and attachments with other people, and it reflects the desire to be emotionally connected to and interpersonally involved with others in warm, caring relationships. This grandma doing something cheesy for a birthday showed her true love and closeness to her family. It clearly fulfills the need for relatedness even after the grandma’s death. We can be attracted to or repelled from strange things that remind us of a lost loved one. I can relate to this story because after my husband’s mom passed away, he saved her voice mail message to our computer just so he “can hear her voice again.” On a more positive note - this second posting made me laugh. “I know 18 digits of pi and can recite the quadratic equation, but I still need to make an L with my hand to find out where left is.” The reason this made me laugh is because my uncle thought he was such a great teacher when he taught my 5 year old daughter this trick. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that she often makes her L’s backwards. I don ‘t think it’s going to help her : ) This posting may relate to competence. We often seek out and master optimal challenges such as learning the quadratic equation, when in reality we may not know right from left.
I looked at both websites but the one I spent the most time with was OneSentence. While reading the entries on this site I found myself laughing out loud one second and ready to cry the next. It’s crazy how emotional these stories are in just one sentence. Some of them made me think of situations I’ve been in and others I didn’t really understand.
One story I found was “I wouldn't have been such a bitch if I had known I would never see you again.” I’ve pretty much felt exactly this way so that’s why it stood out to me. I also like, “I knew God had a sense of humor when I hesitantly answered the ringing K-Mart payphone, only to hear my best friend, who had misdialed my home phone number, on the other end.” I like this story because I believe things like that happen for a reason. I think these stories, along with many others, are ways of trying to achieve some relatedness. I think everyone who posts stories is just trying to be heard by people. Also, people want someone to read their story and be able to relate to it. This is a social need to feel like the person has somewhere to belong. OneSentence and PostSecret are ways to get acknowledgment from others. Being emotionally connected with others is an important part of relatedness and these sites may provide the feeling of this connection for some people. People may feel they get this from evoking emotions in others with their post and feeling certain emotions while reading others’ stories. Although sharing stories on these sites can provide some relatedness, it does not satisfy the entire need. People do not typically get close, intimate relationships out of these sites. The person seeking relatedness would also need a close social bond which is not provided by these sites.
Autonomy may also be a need that is partially fulfilled because people can make their own decision to tell a story on these sites or not and they get to say whatever they want. Maybe, some of these people feel like they can’t always say whatever they want but these sites provide an outlet. With these sites, there is no pressure to post and no rewards for posting. People post their stories because they want to. It’s an interesting thing to them and they make the decision to do it. If they want to tell their story now, in 5 months, or never, they can do whatever they want.
On a side note, I really liked this assignment. I think OneSentence is amazing.
What was your experience reading these?
I became so hooked on one sentence that I have read it every day for at least a half an hour and somehow still managed to forgot to post my assignment on time!!!
How do they make you feel?
Most of the posts are kind of sad, it made me feel bad for theses people who had experienced these things and also made me feel thankful for the things I have in my life.
How do they make you think?
The one of the first things I thought when I was reading one sentence was: If I were to post a sentence what would it be? I have thought about this for four days now and decided it would say: No matter how tough things may seem you can always make it through. I think people look at things like this to feel inspired or too get a little lift in their day and I feel that sentence would help people know it will be ok, no matter what "it" is.
Choose a couple of examples (provide them in your comment) and describe in detail how they reflect the presence or absence of a particular psychological need. Justify your answer by providing evidence from the book about that psychological need, and you linking it to the secret or OneSentence you've chosen.
On Sunday morning when I woke up I didn't have a dog, but by Sunday afternoon I was chasing ducks in the park with Zeus.
This displays the need for relatedness. She is most likely single and lonely and she some how ended up adopting a dog on that sunday. A dog that would make her feel important, loved, understood, and not alone, and she will most likely get affection back from this dog. The dog will give her the perception of a social bond. Even though the dog is not capable of being vocally social it will still care about her and like her no matter what.
I'm convinced that if I had just asked her to prom she wouldn't have moved away and we would be together.
This sentence shows the lack for autonomy. This guy did not take advantage of his conundrum of choice, instead he did nothing. It seems like he felt that if he just let life take its course and they were meant to be then they would end up together regardless of if he asked her to prom or now. When in reality if he would have just asked her his life may have turned out much different.