http://www.angermanagementtips.com/children.htm
I recently came accross a website that discussed anger management and how to deal with children when they are expressing anger. I found it to be very interesting because I'm always seeing children in the store throwing tantrums and then their parents just giving in and letting them have their way. After watching this I always tell myself that when I have children I won't do that, but at the same time it has to be hard to watch your child behave in that way.
The article that I was reading discusses how it's important to explain to children what exactly anger is, that it's ok that they express it, and that even yourself as the parent expresses anger at times. They need to realiaze how to channel the anger, though. The article states different suggestions for a parent to follow when their child is experiencing anger.
- taking deep breaths
- turning their anger into expressable words
- working off anger by running or riding a bike
- showing them alternatives to their anger
- rewarding the children for controlling their anger
I thought that all of these ideas were very helpful. I think it's also important for parents to stick with the methods decide on. So many times parents will give in to their children and let them get away with things that they probably shouldn't be doing. They need to be consistant and not back down, although at times this may be dificult.
The website also says how parents should explain to children what exactly anger is and how to detect anger when they are experiencing it. They list three main things children should recognize.
- their breathing getting faster
- their face getting red in color
- tightened muscles and skin
I thought the website gave decent advice, but I'm also not a parent so I don't know how well these tips actually work.
Are there any parents that have suggestions to what does or does not work for children with anger problems??
I think there were several useful tips from the article, especially teaching your children about anger and how to control it. A problem arises in very young children who do not have the capacity to truly comprehend what emotions are and how to control them. I think the best way to control childrens anger is to be proactive about it.
One way to do that is to make sure all child-care providers are on the same page. If one parent allows the child to act out and get their way, and the other doesn't serious problems can arise (both with the child and with the parent's relationship). Consistency is key in regards to discipline. Also it's important to be specific in letting the child know what behavior is expected of them. I used to work with children with behavioral disorders and every time we would go into public, no matter what the situation, we would make it clear to them what we were doing at that place, and what kind of behavior was expected of them. While grocery shopping or in a department store it helps to make a list and actively engage the child in being part of the experience in order to keep them on task. This could include having them push the cart, helping to find items, etc.
In regards to rewards, as we have talked about several times in class, make sure the reward is something that will be intrinsic for them. Don't tell them "if your good, we'll get ice cream." Instead after they behave well in a social setting, take them to get ice cream and then explain to them that since they did so well this is why they are getting the reward. Research shows that this will better increase the chances of the child behaving appropriately in the future.