http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/07/23/who-uses-internet-dating/
With the many advertisements for online dating services like eharmony, matchamaker, and match.com, the online dating industry is obviously doing quite well. Having never considered it myself and not having any friends who have used it,I have always been curious, what personality traits does a person need to possess to be motivated to use this service? Do they fit a specific psychological profile or have a similar set of needs?
According to this article there is a specific psychological profile for users of on-line dating services. They surveyed 3,345 people, both men and women using various questionnaires and psychological measures. Researchers found that more sociable people tend to use internet dating services than those who are less social. This finding was shocking to me; I consider myself very social, outgoing and have many friends with the same characteristics who have never even considered trying it. These findings really defy the stereotypical image of internet daters as lonely and socially anxious.
Perhaps it comes down to geography, and we haven't been exposed to the level of acceptance and commonality of internet dating, though I doubt this will last for long. Researchers have found that using the internet as a means of finding a prospective mate is no longer thought of as unusual. This study is also not unique, previous research has all came to the same conclusion. Now on-line dating is just another tool at the socialite's disposal.
It also says that while more social people may be the majority of users, not all social people consider this. High-self esteem individuals who value intimate relationships as a key element in their lives are just as likely to use these services as a low self-esteem person who does not view romantic relationships as an important part of their life. Low self-esteem individuals who only put some value on these relationships are less likely to use the services. Here is an excerpt from the findings:
"If the success of romantic relationships is the domain of self worth, one may try to increase the prospect of success and avoid failure in romantic relationships. In the context of Internet dating, when sociable people consider romantic relationships to be an important domain for self-worth, those with high self-esteem will be more likely than those with low self esteem to use Internet dating services.
The reason is that when sociable people consider romantic relationships to
be an important domain for self-worth, those with high self-esteem will find it
comfortable to present themselves to a multitude
of anonymous people, whereas those with low self-esteem will be more likely to
experience a higher level of stress just thinking about disclosing and
promoting themselves on the Internet. Less confident individuals may not want
their negative self-views publicized or viewed by others.
To reduce such negative feelings and protect their self-worth, those with low self-esteem will adopt avoidance strategies and distance themselves from Internet dating services."
So gone are the days of old where internet dating was only for nerds and desperate people. There is actually an interesting article about the science behind these websites as well. It can be found here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/18/technology/internet/18shortcuts.html?ref=technology
This article is pretty generalized and I would like to have more information. The original article is cited at the bottom and definitely something worth looking into.
It makes sense to me that more sociable people would elect to use Internet dating sites as a means of finding an intimate partner. People with high self-esteem who are highly sociable would take advantage of the networking advantages and relish the idea of finding someone to share their lives with on a daily basis. They would not feel threatened by the process. However, I don’t see why people with low self-esteem who don’t value romantic relationships would be more likely to use Internet dating sites. What are they looking for? Sex? Do they want to see if they can go on multiple dates with different people and never pursue a relationship? Do they want to prove the system doesn’t work? This article does provide information to the public about the people who are more likely to be using dating sites which can be helpful to those who are skeptical about them. I still don’t know about dating sites but I am not one to judge. People may use whatever means they wish to find meaningful connections in their lives. I still think that meeting people through previously established social networks can be an effective way of finding a partner but I understand the benefits of online dating sites with advancements in communications, globalization, and changes in dating norms and mores.
Personally, I feel as though classifying internet daters as nerds and desperate is quite a broad generalization. I will agree, I did not imagine the overtly social type as being the key demographic for internet dating. I would have originally thought that those who were less social and less confident would feel more comfortable finding a significant other in a setting such as the internet. However, after reading this article, and having read articles about narcissistic personalities it makes sense. Being given the opportunity to explain one's self in detail and being asked questions about one's self by many people is something that a narcissistic personality would desire. They have an opportunity to create the ideal image that they see or want you to see. Clearly the narcissistic person is going to be more social, and recent studies have linked the internet to promoting a narcissistic youth. Lets be honest, is it really necessary to have 900 friends on Facebook? Not really. Yet, it never fails that each time you meet someone new they become your Facebook friend. So now each person has 900 friends, probably about 700 of them were at one point just a passing face in a bar and will never be seen again, all of them are looking at the Facebook personality that you have displayed for them. Because with things like the ability to untag an unattractive picture, and the ability to fail to announce that you have spent 8 years at college and are still not graduating, or that you are indeed in a relationship yet you have neglected to share this information with your Facebook friends, you can be whoever you want to be. It is a social network, yet there is no doubt that it is an entirely narcissistic idea. This is clearly the same for dating sites.
On a side note, I worked with a woman who tried the internet dating thing. After labeling the men nicknames like pool guy, 150 (don't ask), and sports guy she finally met her match; however, it was not online. I'm sure it works for some people, but I'm sure it also has to do with the eagerness to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. To each their own. Some people have the high need for affection and intimacy and need a partner to share in that feeling with. It would make sense that internet dating would appeal to them. As for myself and many others, I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. But I'm also not someone who has always felt like my goal in life was to settle down and have a family. Maybe that will come later in life, and then I will understand the motive and attraction behind internet dating.