In class we began discussing other movies that may be a good fit for understanding different types of motivation and emotion. This weekend I caught the movie "Enough" on TV. I have seen this movie many times before, and each time I see it becomes more and more interesting. There are many different things from the text that are shown in this movie. I won't go too much into depth so that I won't spoil the movie for those of you who have not seen it, but it can be watched on youtube, if you're interested:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNAdBSxZ9XQ
The most obvious example of motivators in this movie is fear and need for survival. The first time we see true fear from Slim is when she catches Mitch cheating on her. She eventually stands up for herself, only to get pushed back down after he punches her in the face. This is when she really sees that Mitch is not the man who she thought he was. The violence progresses throughout the movie, escalading to the point where Slim feels that her life is in danger. Slim is terrified that her husband is going to kill her, so she is forced to find a way to get away and survive. Slim is forced through many obstacles to avoid her abusive husband. These situations alone are examples of physiological need for survival. A need is something that is necessary for life (Reeve, 77). In this case, getting away from her husband is necessary for life. She also has to save her daughter, Grace. This is another example of a physiological need to protect her offspring. Reeve also discusses how "damage can be to the body, so motives arise from physiological needs to avoid tissue damage and to maintain bodily resources...Damage can also be done to one's relationship to the social world, so motives arise from social needs to preserve our identities, beliefs, values and interpersonal relationships" (Reeve, 77). Both of these factors take place while Slim is fighting for her life. Throughout the movie, Slim has her friend reminder her that it is her primal right to protect herself and her offspring. This is the same bases that are discussed in the text book. Slim has perceived that her life is in danger, and this motivates her to make big changes in her life. We see how strong her drive to save her life is when she moves across the country, changes her hair, and attempts a new life. In the end, her drive to save her life and her daughter is so strong that it causes her to do the unthinkable.
Mitch, the husband, has an intense need for power. His ongoing violent tendencies and actions show how his need for power overrides all of his other needs. He thrives on power, which is why he needs to control Slim, as well as all of the people around him. The first example of this is when he approaches the stranger and asks to buy his house. Mitch threatens the man, saying that if he doesn't sell the house Mitch will make his life miserable. These same situations continue to happen and get increasingly violent throughout the movie. Mitch goes through the stages of power (impact, control, and influence) many times throughout the movie (Reeve, 195). Mitch creates impact the first time he hits Slim. He shows her that he has power over her through force and violence. He creates control when he continues to abuse her without any sense of guilt or regret. When she escapes, he attempts influence when he tries to transfer his power over those involved with Slim (her friends who help her escape and the man who she confides in and hides at his house). He influences these people by threatening them and sending men after them to scare them. He is extending his power over them even when he is not there, by instilling a sense of fear in both Slim, and the people who she comes in contact with.
I agree that the movie displayed motivators of fear and survival, but I also believe that an important theme was Reeve's discussion of our needs for relatedness and affiliation and intimacy.
When Slim first discovers that Mitch is cheating on her, she stands up for herself, calls him out, and tells him that she deserves better. However, this empowerment was short-lived; ending with him slapping and punching her.
Later, we see that she stays with him for a good deal. So why do people stay in abusive relationships?
The article "Why do adults stay in abusive relationships?" outlines several reasons why (found at http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=8483). The first reason in the article is because the victim is not financially stable. This is demonstrated in Slim's case, as he is the breadwinner and she is a stay-at-home mom. He even makes a comment the second time she calls him out for cheating, saying that he is the man, she is his wife; he makes the money.
Another reason is because of the "cycle of abuse." This is when the abuse takes place, and then the abuser apologizes, asks for forgiveness, and promises it won't happen again. Then, the abuse gets worse, and the cycle continues. It's easy for us to judge; nobody ever thinks that they'd be in an abusive relationship or that they'd stay if they were. But I think that people don't realize that it can happen to anyone. I am not a stupid girl, but I found myself in a relationship for about 6 years with a controlling, severely abusive, manipulative guy. To explain this cycle - the abuse starts off little... telling you you're worthless, pushing you during an argument... and then the apologies come and the empty promises. Victims don't stay because they truly believe that the behavior will change - I think, deep down, they know it won't - but it's because the good seems so good, especially when comparing it to the bad, which is horrible.
According to the article, the cycle also includes our need for affiliation and intimacy. Many victims have low self-esteem. They believe that they can't do any better, so they settle. This displays the need for affiliation. Reeve (2005) defines affiliation as rooted in a fear of interpersonal rejection (p. 185). Furthermore, these victims believe that they can't do any better than their current partner, and fear that if they seek new partners they will be rejected, disapproved of, and will eventually end up alone.
The article's author also discusses that victims may believe that the abuse is their partner's way of showing them that they care, and that they deserve the abuse because their partner loves them. This rationalization/belief is their way of satisfying their need for intimacy, as they view the abuse as a warm, caring act. In addition, the article states that "makeup sex" is a frequent occurrence after an abusive episode. This really screws with the victims' heads, as they then feel a "sense that s/he is valued, and really loved." As Reeve (2005) describes, the need for intimacy is then fulfilled because they are (superficially) "experiencing a warm, close, and communicative exchange with another person" (p. 185).
The article also states many other reasons for why so many people stay in abusive relationships. Again, it can be found at http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=8483.