In our society social
networking is booming. The rate at which people are creating facebook, MySpace,
twitter accounts, and profiles on dating site are enormous. Just the other day
my grandmother asked me what twitter was (never did I think I'd hear those
words out of my 85 year old grandmother). However, this obsession with the
internet and new social networking site makes me ask the question; are they
good? Are we cheating ourselves of out
getting to know someone the way out parents and grandparents did? Are we losing
social skill that we have taken so long to develop?
I am sure that everyone can think of someone they know
who has met someone on a dating site that has resulted in a successful
relationship and marriage. Personally I
do not feel as though there is anything wrong with that. With women going into the work world and
getting higher educations and people no long live in a 100 miles radus of where
they grew up there is a definite need for a social network in order to meet
people outside of your workplace. But part of me wonders if this new social
networking phenomena is just the next step in dating or is it unnatural to find
and select a mate online. What do you think?
Below are articles that are
of positive and negative experiences with dating site. Take a look at them and
tell me what you think...
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,396461,00.html
Mothers shares successful
experience with online dating
http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/datingexperiences/11-online-dating-experience.html
One of the articles talked about Facebook and MySpace being used for dating and I guess I've never thought of either site like that. I thought they were just for staying connected with family and friends. Online dating sites are for actually meeting someone, they have compatibility tests whereas on facebook you are looking at the person's picture and seeing what the music and movies they like. I think these social networking sites are good, they do make it easier to keep in touch with family and friends when you don't have enough time to chat on the phone. I don't think we are necessarily "cheating" ourselves out of meeting people the old fashioned way, in fact I think we are broadening our opportunities to find the right person. I just wondered when it became so difficult for everyone to find someone they love or have things in common with? Yes, I think we are losing social skills as well as communication skills because we no longer physically speak to others as much, we are just typing away on our computers, which has benefited our words typed per minute.
I believe online dating sites are kind of a killer to the social aspect of finding a partner. Although, there are times in a person’s life (well, most people) that they consider themselves single… and if you’ve ever been in a relationship before, you may still have the desire to be affiliated with another person or even seek the intimacy.
According to Reeve (2009) p 192 affiliation is ‘establishing, maintaining, or restoring a positive , affective relationship with another person or persons”. If you’ve been in a failed relationship, it may want you to try something and strive to have successful relationship.
Of course, American’s love things that are convenient and right at their fingertips, so instead of going out, meeting new people, networking, etc, they can click a button, upload a picture and wait for someone to respond to them. Honestly, I prefer the old fashion way--- I’m too sketchy of those internet sites. They may fit for some people, but I don’t find them helpful in the least.
http://www.date1411.com/online-dating-vs-real-dating/
This article goes into how humans desire companionship and how this ‘industry’ has been around for a while (remember the mail order brides thing?). I found the article really interesting, but I do believe people start looking on these websites because they are looking for affiliation and ultimately intimacy.
I think that contacting someone you don't know on facebook would be really weird in general. I do however, know one family friend who met her husband on facebook. Apparently he just messaged her out of the blue and they really hit it off. I am very wary of anyone whom I don't know contacting me on facebook, because what if they are a wierdo like the ax murderer mentioned in the Fox News article?
As for sites like eharmony, at least with these sites you know what to expect (deceit, etc). I don't know about everyone else, but I certainly didn't sign up for facebook in order to find dates. Dating sites are really interesting because they claim to match people according to their compatibility. I don't know if this is really possible, since we talked the other day in class about what a large role different neurotoxins can play in our perceptions of others.
I predict that in the future there will be an increase in online dating, simply for convenience sake. I've heard that online dating sites are already very popular in big cities because it is harder to meet people there.
I don't think social networking sites are a good way of meeting someone. I believe it is better to meet someone in person when you can see that you truly connect or have chemistry. Sometimes online dating can come off as desperate. I think they are mostly fake because what you say in your profile isn't exactly who you are, you can't get to know someone by reading their profile and messaging, there is so much more to a person when seeing them face to face. Many times people look at profiles to come up with conversations or to see what the other person likes just to make it seem like they have the same interests. It is also scary because you don't know what the person is like. We've seen on MySpace all the time of people lying about their age or other things. I hear a lot about older guys or sexual offenders talking to younger girls on MySpace. They go out on a date and get raped or kidnapped or killed. Even the article in this blog demonstrates this. Her date said he was calm in his profile, but when they went out, he ended up admitting to killing someone and then went on to punch another guy for trying to dance with his date. I think that dating sites are very dangerous and fake.
I feel that there is a fine line between social networking sites and dating sites. They both have displays for the same types of information, such as interest, about me, and musical tastes.But there should be a seperation of the two. The purpose for a dating site is in the name: it's for dating. Several people use facebook and myspace for different reasons and most of those reasons are not to find their "true love." I will fully admit to being a facebook creeper from time to time, but not for searching for a love. Most people might be uncomfortable to have someone randomly contact them for a date. Then again, that is the chance you take when you post anything online. Facebook does have applications dating purposes and if you truly are searching for your love online, then please do join a dating site. More power to you but leave the dating to the appropriate url.
As for the danger aspect of social networking and dating sites, that is the risk you take. People may use the sites to expand their options. However, just like it the real world, there are just as many jerks if not more as there are princes. People can be dangerous and mean whether in they are behind a computer or on the streets. Jeffery Dahmer and Ted Bundy didn't find their victims on the internet. And people will lie to your face just as much as online if they want to be liked and impressive. You are simply taking the same riskes...just in an expanded version. It comes with the territory.
I've always had doubts about online dating... even just meeting friends online in general. It seems really fishy to me if you meet someone online. People always come off as too good to be true because they're trying to impress the person they're talking to, and lie to them to make them seem better than what they are. I think online dating has good sides and bad, but I think that the bad outweigh the good.
Definitely one of the bad things is meeting someone who is completely fake. Rarely, but it does happen, you hear of these stories where someone met this guy/girl online, they meet up for dates, and the other person is not the person they talked to online. Sometimes this can turn out for the worse in which they're a killer or rapist. This doesn't happen often, but it's something that everyone who dates online should be conscious about.
I think the only good thing about online dating is that it's easier to open up to people. They're not face to face with the person they're chatting with so it's easier for them to give out more information.
Online dating works for some people, but for me, I think it's a sketchy way to meet people. I'm all for the success stories though and good for the people who actually make it work:)