I was at www.askmen.com and saw this title for an article,
so I couldn't resist.
As it's part of askmen.com, the article is geared towards providing advice for
men - in this instance, particularly straight men. The article is
examining the traits of gay men and why straight women love the gays so much
for them. They talk about clothing style, physical fitness, sensitivity,
faithfulness, and fun.
Most heterosexual men's fashion is based on three things: sneakers, wrangler
jeans, and a t-shirt. And while this is fine for us men, women are
typically more sophisticated. They want to be able to talk about their
outfits, hair, skin care, etc. Who is going to provide more to a
conversation on hair, a straight guy who puts on a hat until it lies flat, or a
gay guy who can compare and contrasts features of different products?
It's harder for women to maintain a set weight for various reasons - partly
because their bodies are continuously preparing itself to hold a child each month.
As the article says, " [in] many instances, gay men simply take better
care of themselves than we do . . ."
Their gay best friend is, however, someone who will tell them the new
ways to lose weight or who will go to the gym with them.
The website tells how an article by the National Academy of Sciences in 2008 describes how heterosexual women's brains and homosexual men's brains are similar - making it more likely that their brains function the same way. This would explain one reason why gay men tend to be more willing to talk about their emotions than we, heterosexual men, are.
Faithfulness is yet another quality that women love in their gay men. They don't have to worry about the man leaving them for another woman. It removes a deep-seated insecurity.
And lastly, gay men are just more fun. They can comparatively talk about sex with women and give them tips from a guy's perspective on what feels good without being embarrassed.
This can all be explained with a simple answer: the psychological need for relatedness. Gay men can just relate to straight women on levels that straight men cannot. However, this is NOT an excuse to not try.
As my mom always says, "try walking in the other person's shoes for a while." If we straight men try this, I'm sure we can all relate to females much better and avoid unnecessary arguments - because sleeping on the couch sucks!
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_300/332b_why-women-love-gay-men.html
I completely agree with this article although, I wish he would've interviewed a gay guy or a straight woman to get their specific point of view. I think the sensitivity is the biggest thing that gets girls, I mean when your boyfriend breaks up with you he is just like your girlfriends. He will eat pizza with you or go out, let you cry on his shoulder and just help you feel better about the situation. Another plus is they will do your make-up and hair before you go out, tell you what looks good and what looks bad. Even though women want their man to be honest, I know if my boyfriend said, "I don't like that outfit on you," when I thought it looked good, I might become irritated. That's what girlfriends are for. Yes I would like a guy to know what shirt and pants look good together and what doesn't, if he becomes more high maintenance then me we got trouble. I don't want to have to fight over the mirror with you.
I think the biggest issue with straight men and women is simply that societal pressures demand different personal attributes to fit into norms. I do not think that women and are simply born with this fashionista bug and straight men are not. Society, however, dictates that straight men not discuss these things or enjoy shopping or looking nice without the implication that they are in fact, homosexual. In our society today there is still a negative stereotype that goes with being homosexual. Men do not want to be seen as homosexual if they are straight, just the same as they wouldn't want to be seen as feminine.
The real problem then, is that straight men must fit into a specific mold of masculinity that women and homosexual men do not have to worry about. Basically, I think that straight men are highly motivated to be seen as masculine and, therefore would avoid any display that goes against these masculine norms in our society.
There is also something to be said for men and women needing to be different. Do you really think that many women would want their significant other acting like their girlfriend or gay friend? Probably not. I would assume that the behaviors exhibited by female or gay friends would not be acceptable with relation to intimate partners. This also probably stems from what men and women expect out of a partner. Overall, I think it is a funny article and I really enjoyed your interpretation of it. I think that most importantly we should try to focus attention on what it is that is similar or great about our partners and not try to change for them.
I completely agree about the influence of gender roles in these kinds of relationships. I chose to write the article because of this situation. I'm a straight male , but I don't fit into what society says is masculine, and I'm fine with that. I identify more with the terms "metrosexual" or "androgynous" than I do heterosexual.
This is because I don't like to play team sports or even watch them on TV. I enjoy hunting but only because it's the only activity that my dad and I share together, alone. I really don't even get along with many straight guys because I find them immature and too insecure to ignore what society tells them to be and just be themselves.
It's funny that I'm straight because I get along with gay guys better than straight guys. Again, I think it comes down to maturity and the lack of social pressure to have to be this or that. I find that everyone who does not identify themselves as heterosexual to be more accepting and less judgmental.
I've always had more friends that are girls. This kind of sucks when I'm looking for a girlfriend, though. They usually become friends right away because I end up, in a minor way, playing the same role as these gay best friends. I'm fairly fashionable, I'm good at listening / advice, I can relate to women easily.
Thanks for the in put on the article.
I would like to start by saying, I absolutely LOVE gay men. They are my favorite. Ever. As a straight girl, there is really no one better to be best friends with, because you can get essentially everything that is good about both genders in one person. They are still men, so you can get the male perspective on any issue you might be having. But they can also hold down a conversation about feelings, or fashion or how awesome Lady Gaga is without feeling like the need to defend their masculinity every other minute. And, I hate to quote “When Harry Met Sally”, but it is hard for men and women to be really close friends, because at some point sex will get in the way.
I thought it was very interesting when they talked about how women don’t have to worry about their gay friends leaving them for another woman. I never thought about it like that before, but it is totally true. I hope they keep doing research about this!