In my introduction to psychology class my professor asked if we would be more mad if our boyfriend/girlfriend had a sexual infidelity or an emotional infidelity. By a show of has we were able to see that more men would be upset by a sexual infidelity and more women would be more hurt by an emotional infidelity. Why is this the case? To understand mate selection will provide the answer to this. In the link below I found information regarding the answer to my questions and information about the physical appearance that impact mate selection based on evolutionary psychology ideas.
First-in the physical appearance of mates men tend to prefer younger women because they tend to be more fertile. Men like full lips, breast, and hip and a slim waist because this is the features that represent a woman who has a lot of estrogen in turn making her a good candidate for reproduction. Women are often attracted to men who have a more masculine build; broad shoulders, slim hips, a strong jaw line, clear face, and facial hair. This type of physic represents a man with a lot of testosterone therefore reinforcing that this man will be able to fulfill and provide for the family. The idea of infidelity as mention earlier is based on passing on ones genes. If a women has a sexual infidelity then the many is not 100 percent sure that the child they have together would be genetically his. Where the women in 100 percent sure the child she bears is of her genetics. A woman needs a man who is going to be there emotionally and provide support, energy, resources, and protection for her family. Therefore, a woman is going to be more concerned with an emotional infidelity than a sexual one. The first time I read his is was somewhat surprising to me however, after looking at it from an evolutionary perspective it is easy to see why this is the case.
I remember having this discussion in Intro as well. I also remember someone making the argument that if a man is having an emotional affair his wife/girlfriend will likely jump to the conclusion that he is also having sex with the women he is emotionally unfaithful with. And that if a women is having sex with someone that is not her husband/boyfriend, the husband/boyfriend will probably assume that she is also in love with him just based on gender stereotypes.
I am reading "The Evolution of Desire" for my book report for this class. Most of what was in the article cited was mirrored in the book. The book, however, goes into more detail pertaining to how and why we are attracted to certain mates. For example, while the possession of resources is the most important factor in choosing a mate for women, dependability and emotional stability are also important. Evolutionarily, men have been the bread winners (or the hunters) and women have had to rely on their husbands for food (and other resources). If a man was not dependable, there may be no food for the day. If a woman's mate decided that he would rather take a nap than go hunting, the woman and her children would go without food. If a woman's mate was very dependable, she would know that every day he would go hunt and bring home the bacon (or deer). Stability is important because a woman has to know that he will be there day in and day out. If the mate was emotionally unstable, he may become physically abusive, or decide he loves someone else and would rather provide for her. These two components of personality that factor into being/finding a good mate can also play into the reason women are more upset by an emotional infidelity. If a man is emotionally unfaithful he can no longer be considered dependable and emotionally stable.
Evolutionary Psychology is a particular interest of mine, so I found these articles to be very interesting. While I agree with the reasoning that they attach to early mating behaviors and the motivating emotions that go with them I do have some qualms about their application in modern times. I think that there is little doubt that the features which we find attractive today evolved as indicators of health and virility in primeval times. When life is simply about survival these traits would have been extremely important. Basically healthy is sexy. However I disagree that all these principles still stand today. The idea stated in this article that women chose their mates to provide for them and elevate their social status is, I believe, an antiquated idea for our society. Though there is of course anecdotal evidence of women seeking out mates for only these reasons (commonly called a gold digger) I think it is unfair to generalize this onto all women, especially in our culture. Today the idea of love is more important than any other reason for choosing a mate. With men you still also see behavior that was talked about in this article which is the idea of having many different mates (referred to in the article as quantity over quality). This man might today be called a player, but I thing you will find that they go to great lengths to prevent a pregnancy form occurring. What I'm saying is that the concept of evolutionary psychology should be used more for understanding attraction and what motivates that attraction than for mate choice in our current society.
This was a great article because it was not just research done by one person, it had other researcher’s responses that agreed and disagreed. I think that Thompson’s article Sex Differences: A Universal Perspective is a good job of bring up the issue of who we can generalize the finding to. This stuck out to me because in both of my research class we have talked about the issue of findings that can’t always be generalized back to the population that was supposed to be studied. I would like to know how the theories of evolution and society can be used in the female dominated societies that Thompson talked about.
Overall I think the discussion on what we look for in a mate was good. Other researchers brought up issues about if a change in culture changes the theories on how a mate is chosen. In some ways I think we should update it when it comes to the present. I feel that there has been so many changes when it comes to mate selection. Women no longer rely on men as their primary resource and children are now being brought up to not look at people as different. An example would be; children learning not to judge someone because they have a lot of money but to see them as a person. This is kind of a contradiction when women are psychotically looking for a man who can provide for them if they need it. I guess I am looking at how if a change in (America specially) culture has any impact on a theory that is based on mating selection from hundreds of years ago.