I live in a household with three children, two boys ages 14 & 9 and a 7 year old girl. We've been under the same roof for a little over a year and a half and we are as close as family. Each week in this blog, I'm going to take advantage of these two opportunities I have; studying motivation and living with 3 young people that think rinsing your plate and putting it in the dishwasher defines hard labor. They are perfect subjects (and I mean that as a term of endearment) to put some of our class theories to the test. Your comments are appreciated and any suggestions will be helpful. Their best interest will be my top priority but if we do this right, we will observe motivation at work and they will learn a few lessons of their own.
My first experience is about a year old, when the kids & I became more comfortable around each other and the realities of sharing a bathroom with two young boys became a bit overwhelming. I'll spare you the details but what is so hard about boys lifting the toilet seat?! I finally had enough one day upon noticing the mess & called them into the bathroom to observe the evidence. I was frustrated but couldn't blame just one of them, since they both use that bathroom. In true sibling form, they instantly accused the other one of blame so I gave them a quick lecture and expressed to them my frustration. This of course did nothing to change the behavior.
As time went on and I continued to complain to them with no success, I would joke with them about at least improving their aim, told them they'd have to go outside and sometimes just flat out shouted at them. One day, fully fed up, I called them both into the bathroom, handed them each a bottle of Lysol with an old washcloth and explained that from now on, each time I noticed their mess, they would come in clean the seat by hand. This was horrendous news to the 9 year-old, who even tried to blame his sister at one point. I stood my blue-tile ground and every time I saw the mess, I said nothing, just handed the towel and spray to whosever turn it was and left them behind to clean it up.
Within about a month, victory was mine and there was no longer a need to keep the spray bottle on standby, next the the rolls of TP. I learned that yelling at them was, although my first resort to motivating a change in behavior, totally ineffective. It turns out, cleaning the toilet seat every few days, is less appealing than bending over to lift the seat. I believe that is what B.F. Skinner called Operant Conditioning and even more specifically, Punishment.
Well, I'm happy to say that we no longer have that problem here at our house. And it was a win-win for both me and the boys, I got my way and they don't have to listen to me gripe anymore, at least about that.
My first experience is about a year old, when the kids & I became more comfortable around each other and the realities of sharing a bathroom with two young boys became a bit overwhelming. I'll spare you the details but what is so hard about boys lifting the toilet seat?! I finally had enough one day upon noticing the mess & called them into the bathroom to observe the evidence. I was frustrated but couldn't blame just one of them, since they both use that bathroom. In true sibling form, they instantly accused the other one of blame so I gave them a quick lecture and expressed to them my frustration. This of course did nothing to change the behavior.
As time went on and I continued to complain to them with no success, I would joke with them about at least improving their aim, told them they'd have to go outside and sometimes just flat out shouted at them. One day, fully fed up, I called them both into the bathroom, handed them each a bottle of Lysol with an old washcloth and explained that from now on, each time I noticed their mess, they would come in clean the seat by hand. This was horrendous news to the 9 year-old, who even tried to blame his sister at one point. I stood my blue-tile ground and every time I saw the mess, I said nothing, just handed the towel and spray to whosever turn it was and left them behind to clean it up.
Within about a month, victory was mine and there was no longer a need to keep the spray bottle on standby, next the the rolls of TP. I learned that yelling at them was, although my first resort to motivating a change in behavior, totally ineffective. It turns out, cleaning the toilet seat every few days, is less appealing than bending over to lift the seat. I believe that is what B.F. Skinner called Operant Conditioning and even more specifically, Punishment.
Well, I'm happy to say that we no longer have that problem here at our house. And it was a win-win for both me and the boys, I got my way and they don't have to listen to me gripe anymore, at least about that.
Well Jen, I feel your pain. Only my trouble is not with young children, it is with my 22 year old adult roommate. My roommate has gotten in the habit of leaving the house doors wide open...in the middle of winter! I'm not sure where the lack of motivation comes from in him to not be able to turn around and make sure the door is shut behind him, but I have a feeling it is due to extreme laziness! I often think to myself, shouldn't he be motivated to shut doors, especially when it's 10 degrees outside? Shouldn't he be motivated to want to keep the cost of utilities down and be motivated to show a little respect to his fellow housemates? Apparently not. At the most basic level I would think he would be motivated by the fact that the house is freezing in the middle of winter! While you found a good way to motivate your young roommates to change their behavior, how do you handle the situation with an adult? If an adult is unmotivated to change their behavior, is there really anything that can be done?