I found an article about the effect meditation can have on the relationship between a patient and mental health practitioner. The researchers looked at how mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation can effect self-compassion, other-focused concern, empathy distress fatigue, and burnout. The study in question is very small and preliminary but they found what I expected to see. They found that mindfulness based interventions increased self-compassion but they didn't get significant results for other-focused concern. The researchers explained that this may be because of ceiling effects due to the population they were working with. They did find that loving-kindness meditation increased both self-compassion and other-focused concern.
I found these results interesting because the effects they found could be used in all relationships, not just therapeutic ones. The result of other-focused concern is often necessary in relationships. In most intimate relationships this already exists but it can take a long time to form. From what we have learned about Buddhism it would seem that extending other-focused concern to acquaintances and strangers would benefit individuals. Self-compassion has much less to do with others and more with the self. I believe in the age old adage of you have to love yourself before you can love others. Holding yourself accountable for your actions and their consequences, both good and bad, can have a huge impact on how you interact with others in your life. I would like to see a study like this replicated but with friendships or romantic relationships with a larger focus on qualitative qualities of the relationship.
The assignment this week was to research the effects meditation has on relationships. I chose to look up several websites rather than find a research study for this assignment because I thought I would find more benefits listed rather than just a few that were tested. I found a webpage that listed nine main ways meditating, specifically mindfulness meditation, improves relationships. First, meditating reduces stress. If a person is less stressed out they are less likely to be in a bad mood when around others. If they are happier, the relationships will reflect that happiness. Mindfulness meditation also helps people relate to others better. That improves communication and leads to a more harmonious, understanding relationship. Mindfulness meditation also increases empathy which, as we all know, is incredibly important in healthy, harmonious relationships. Another thing listed was increased morality. According to this author, when people meditate they become more aware of their place in the world. They may realize that life is bigger than they are and everything is connected so it is important to always be kind to everyone. I haven't noticed anything quite that profound through my experiences with meditation but I'm sure some others have.
One thing I noticed was beneficial that wasn't directly mentioned in the article I read was how much more peaceful people are when they meditate. I guess it kind of goes along with reduced stress but it seems like when people meditate, the little things don't bother them anymore. I know several people have remarked in class that stuff that used to irritate or bother them before they began meditating no longer get to them. Something else that can be a benefit not mentioned in the article is the opportunity to meditate together. People can meditate with others which will make everyone more peaceful and allow for quality time spent together. Meditation is kind of an intimate, spiritual thing so sharing it with someone else can bring two people closer.
Something that was interesting to me because I had never considered it before was that meditation can make people feel better about being alone. Some people are very clingy in relationships which can be off-putting. Meditation can make them grow to feel comfortable when they are alone and even grow to cherish time they have to themselves. Also it can help a person decide if they're in the relationship for the right reasons. Some people may enter relationships because they fear being alone but through meditation, they can learn how to be their own person and be happy. They can learn how to be happy independently so their happiness isn't always dependent on another person which can greatly improve a relationship.
For this week’s assignment, I looked at an article that examined meditations indirect effect on relationships when looking at the dimensions of mindfulness, attention regulation, emotional regulation, and empathy. The authors of this article paid special attention to Gottman and his research on relationships, identifying big problems as being criticism, stonewalling, contempt, and defensiveness. The researchers looked at a number of previous studies, many of which being brain imaging studies that consistently show increases in volume, density, or activity of relevant brain structures in meditating individuals when compared with non-meditating control groups. When examining mindfulness they looked at focused attention meditation, open awareness meditation, and loving-kindness meditation. The active brain areas they reported in mindfulness were consistent with the literature that we read earlier in the semester, including the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the anterior cingulate cortex, and the insula. When talking about attention regulation, they bring focus to a finding that people in happy couples notice and acknowledge their partners positive actions and qualities more so than those in unhappy relationships. They then related this finding to the evidence that meditation raises attention regulation, once again noting the anterior cingulate cortex. This is still consistent with our literature, in that the ACC is a very relevant brain structure for both cognitive and affective functions. Interestingly enough, these changes were noted in both long term and short term meditators when compared with the non-meditating control group. I thought this was particularly fascinating, as often times the changes are not found in short term meditators, which makes collecting and reporting data fairly difficult.
In the section about emotion regulation, they talk about a decrease in negative moods, which corresponds to the finding of decreased activity in the amygdala. This is actually controlled by the prefrontal cortex via a process called cognitive reappraisal, in which incoming negative stimuli are recoded as being less negative. They have additionally found instances where the middle prefrontal cortex (the area responsible for cognitive reappraisal) actually becomes less active as a response to meditation training, and actually show an increase in non-evaluative sensory pathways involving the thalamus, insula, and primary sensory regions. This is also consistent with our previous research showing increased activity in the thalamus and insula. This reflects the concept of ‘equanimity’ in that the sensations may still be associated with an emotional response, but that the evaluative response is suspended. They also noted something else interesting here, mentioning that the suspension of the evaluative response is actually supporting the exposure and extinction concepts, in that the meditator becomes exposed to negative stimuli and uncouple the negative emotions from the cognitive associations while engaging in soothing processes that highlight the transitory nature of emotion reducing the fear response of these negative stimuli. They mention the ventromedial prefrontal cortex and the hippocampus as being known brain structures responsible for this extinction process. The importance of this emotional regulation on happy relationships is fairly apparent.
Atkinson, B.J. (2013). Mindfulness training and the cultivation of secure, satisfying couple relationships. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, Vol. 2, 2, 73-94.
I decided to look at a few different sites and see what they had to say about the impact of mindfulness and meditation in relationships. This is a topic that we haven’t discussed much in class so I was interested to know what meditations impact could be in relationships.
It is important to understand how to train the mind to step back from situations, clear our mind and extract ourselves from the circle of negative emotions that we often find ourselves in. It is very easy to get into the mindset that you are lonely and that everyone else is happy and content in a relationship. It is also very important to be mindful when you do meet someone. There are often many thoughts and emotions going through you and a lot of pressure to decide if they could possibly be the right person for you. By using meditation we are able to train our minds to decrease the intensity of our emotions by over 50%. We are also able to train our minds in a way that can increase our confidence in situations that involve a lot of pressure. When we decide that we do like a person we reach a honeymoon phase which feels amazing. However, the meditative mind has to recognize the emotions and work to not become too obsessive and not let our mood and attitude depend on that person. After a lot of work you can get to the point where you are able to be happy and content in your relationship. By practicing mindfulness you have mastered the ability to let go of the small things and communicate through the bigger issues. You let less things bother you and are more calm and stress-free.
Mindfulness is just good with helping a couple see the small things that can become bigger issues and work on them before that happens. By meditating, you as a couple are able to focus your attention on the things that matter and you have clearer minds. You are better at letting go of the small things and moving forward with your relationship. One big thing that meditation will help with is that it slows down our automatic responses and makes us more aware of them so that we don’t say or do things that will be annoying or hurtful to our significant other. Overall it is important to remember that mindfulness helps to decrease the stress in your life and in your relationships. You are less likely to overreact and it also helps you to be more aware of when your mind is wandering and allows you to become more attuned with your own feelings and emotions.
Terminology: meditation, mindfulness, stress, feelings, emotions, focus, attention, meditative mind
Instead of looking for the effect that meditation has on couples’ relationships, I looked at a research article that specifically studied how this effect is possible. The study had 22 couples in the meditation intervention group and 22 couples that were in the control/wait-list group. The meditation intervention group took part in couples yoga exercises, partner-focused loving-kindness meditation, mindful touch exercises, and mutual eye-gazing exercises. The researchers had the participants take pre and post-tests looking at relationships satisfaction, relationship distress, joint participation in exciting activities, acceptance of partner, and individual relaxation. The couples were all in healthy, non-dysfunctional relationships.
What they found was that the only statistically significant mediator was the exciting activities variable. To me, this makes sense because meditation can feel like such a life changing experience and going through that process with a partner could be a real bonding experience. The researchers connected this finding to Aron and Aron’s model of self-expansion. Self-expanding activities include anything that is novel or physically arousing and typically are characterized by gains of insight and feelings of connection. The series of meditations in this study fit all the standards of a self-expanding activity. The couples yoga was physically stimulating, none of the couples had ever done meditation on a regular basis so the activity was new, and meditation can bring about feelings of insight and connectedness. I’m curious to know if meditation on its own would be physically stimulating enough, since it allows the person to be hyper-aware of their body in focused-attention styles. I also wonder if the relationships would eventually plateau once the newness of meditation has worn off. One caveat that the researchers had was that relaxation and acceptance could possibly also be mediators between meditation and relationship improvements, but that self-expansion/exciting activities have the largest effect.
Terms: loving-kindness meditation, yoga, mediator, Aron and Aron’s Model of self-expansion, mindful, focused-attention
Carson, J. W., Carson, K. M., Gil, K. M., & Baucom, D. H. (2007). Self-expansion as a mediator of relationship improvements in a mindfulness intervention. Journal Of Marital And Family Therapy, 33(4), 517-528.
Relationships and how meditation can impact them was the topic for this week. I found a few web articles that talked about how by meditating you can help to create better relationships. This first article gave nine points on why mindfulness meditation will help to improve your relationships with others. The first was being able to deal with stress better and not get stressed out so easily. By doing this you will be in a better mood when you are around others so any previous anger you might have had wouldn’t be directed towards them. The next point was very similar to the first as it dealt with emotional resilience, and the ability to understand your moods and change them better then if you hadn’t meditated. Out of the rest of the points they named the ones that I found most interesting were an improved insight and a better modulation of fear. Improved insight is having a better self-knowledge of oneself. Meditation helps us to better understand who we are and better understand our own thoughts. This is a skill that I have always thought was important in any relationship was the need to know who you really are before you try to have relationships with others. People sometimes try to change who they are to fit in and this causes a lot of internal turmoil that can cause us to feel confused about who we are. Another point that they made was the ability to better modulate fear. With meditation you can help to calm the emotions that come with fear, many of which are made up by ourselves. This internal fear causes us to worry about things that aren’t present and creates a cycle that is harmful to relationships.
The next article that I read was from the company Headspace. They talked mostly about the self-insight part of meditation and that it helps us to recognize our feelings and emotions that occur when something happens. This recognition is crucial in helping us change these emotions that pop up that are undesirable. The change and recognition may be slow at first but with practice we can become very good at understanding what causes us to have certain emotions and either avoid those situations or to not react in a manner that causes us or others around us stress. Learning to understand that what is taking place is actually not as big as of deal as we may see it, so recognizing this will help us to keep a better mood and also help to enhance relationships.
For this last blog, about mediation and relationships, I found an article that described mindfulness, a personality trait emphasized and enhanced through meditation, and interpersonal behavior, in other words, relationships with other people. Interestingly, the study used two different samples, one student sample and one parent sample. The students were all enrolled in psychology courses at a university in Belgium. Both samples were also overwhelmingly female, which I find interesting because I think there are some pretty distinct gender differences in mindfulness in regards to how it relates to interpersonal relationships, like the ability to distinguish and understand other people’s emotions. I think the results would be different if more males were included in the study, because I feel as though they are less socially responsible (in common gender roles) to be able to express emotion and communicate effectively. Women are already typically seen as better able to behave socially by using emotion and feeling. If this study was predominantly male, I wonder if the results would have been as drastic.
The researcher broke down mindfulness into four different abilities: the ability to observe, to describe, to act with awareness, and to accept without judgment. To measure these, the researchers used a few different questionnaires in order to measure mindfulness, interpersonal reactivity (identifying and responding to other people’s emotions as well as the ability to use empathy), social anxiety and performance (fear of engaging in social activity and effective communication), as well as self-esteem and body satisfaction. I thought this last measure was an interesting one to look at, seeing as not everyone would think to look at one’s own opinion of themselves when studying interpersonal relationships, but as the study said self-esteem is a positive predictor of social acceptance which then regulates social activity.
The research found that not all aspects of mindfulness correlate with all aspects of interpersonal behavior, but in general an increase in mindful observation increased the likelihood of engaging in empathetic behavior. Mindfulness also decreases social anxiety and increases performance and was positively correlated with increased self-esteem and body satisfaction.
Bringing it back to meditation, we have read about meditation exercises that focus on increasing mindfulness. Apparently the increased mindfulness can increase your ability to behave socially, by being more empathetic, more comfortable with yourself and your body, and by being less anxious in social situations, meaning you would be better able to create and maintain social relationships. I’m curious if mindfulness meditation exercises would be a useful tool in couples counseling. If both members of the couple engaged in meditation, would their ability to understand each other increase? Would they be better able to communicate their feelings? It is an interesting idea to look into for anyone who wants to go into a domestic counseling field.
Terms: Mindfulness, interpersonal behavior, relationships, interpersonal reactivity, social anxiety, social performance, self-esteem, body satisfaction
Link to article: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886907004242
Last blog! Meditation enhances relationship quality probably in the similar way as religion does when people say, “A family that prays together, stays together.” If both partners understand what it means to be mindful, there’s more patience and more time to be present to the other person, which cultivates empathy. Mediation helps couples to take time to understand each other and situations instead of automatically becoming defensive. Couples learn to work together and they take time outside of the catastrophic event to explore feelings and outcomes before reacting, which in many cases would be negatively. People who are mindful find time in this frantic non-stop society to inspire thoughtful reflection. Mindfulness leads to greater awareness to thoughts and feelings. This insight to our habits and tendencies positively influences relationships because if we are aware of our bad habits and patterns, they begin to dissolve. By understanding ourselves better through meditation, we feel more confident and hence more content. The less reactive we are, the more we give others the space they need to be who they truly are.
Meditators feel freer, more curious, and more open to each other’s feelings. In turn, couples re-embrace love by putting down the baggage and weaponry. With meditation, gratitude and appreciation are cultivated and anxiety decreases. Less anxiety reduces stress and places less strain on the relationship. Meditation significantly lowers stress and frustration, creating a more peaceful relationship. Mediation regulates moods.
When people are able to understand their own selves, they take a step back and view life as a whole. We spend so much time and money outside ourselves perfecting our shell that we lose touch with our inside and before we know it, we are running on empty. It is important with both relationships and meditation that you get out what you put in.
For the last blog I decided to look at an article that describes the steps within a romantic relationship and how we may use meditation to produce the best results. The first step it mentioned is being content with being alone. Being alone is hard, especially when everyone around you is in love. Being alone for some people, is longing for another which can produce negative emotions, feelings of desperation, and more. By using meditation however, individuals (including myself) can learn to take a step back and be more mindful of the good already in our lives. When we do this, positive emotions surface not only making us feel better, but making us more confident and approachable.
The next step is the first date. The first date is a very scary, and nerve-wrecking experience. The article discusses how some people tend to over-think the date and their emotions become intense and somewhat uncontrolled. With the use of meditation however, individuals can teach themselves to relax in stressful situations such as this and will help keep emotions more manageable. In addition, meditation can provide individuals will higher confidence that will benefit them within the date and in their overall lives.
After the first date, dating for a while, then the first year of marriage, it is important for individuals to not become over-whelmed with emotion that they become blind of certain issues or obsessed with their significant other. Meditation can help individuals focus and see the relationship more clearly. Of course dating and being newly-weds is very exciting and should be embraced, the article is just stating that the excitement should not cloud our judgment and mediation can help.
Finally, the last stage it mentions is post-newlyweds or after a long time of dating once the initial thrill and full-blown passion fades a bit. At this point according to the article, is when the relationship actually begins. After dating for a little while the brain begins to crave new and exciting stimulus, thus people may look to find another. This stimulus searching however, leads to short lived relationships. When the relationship began it was exciting, new, passionate, and flaws were either hidden or ignored. After some time however, this begins to fade which tends to make people question whether they actually want to be with the person. People tend to compare the beginning of the relationship to the status of their current relationship. This, the website states is unhealthy because the relationship should be viewed beyond just the passion and thrill, that we should learn to accept our significant other for who they are, and learn to grow together. One way to learn to accept one another is through meditation. Meditation can teach individuals to see past the short-lived beginning of relationships and learn to appreciate one another on a deeper, more meaningful level. Although everyone has flaws, meditation may also help individuals learn to accept or find solutions to these flaws/ problems. When this occurs individuals’ marital satisfaction increases and overall quality of life is better as well.
When researching relationship I had a difficult time find actual studies on the subject that also related to meditation. For most experiment relationships are briefly stated in the results area as seen and improvement, but none were the actually focus of the entire experiment itself. So I used a different route and started looking up things related to marriage and long term romantic relationships. This is where I came across a qualitative study that relates very well to this topic.
For this study eight participants were recruited. The criteria for inclusion in this study were that participants were long-term practitioners of meditation, having practiced meditation for a minimum of 10 years, and that they identified their meditation practice as an important part of their life. One happened to drop out after the start, which is why the results only showed the seven couples. The information that was gained in this study was done through an interview either preformed over the phone or in person.
The participant were asked a series of questions. The participants were asked about the personal traits they believed they had developed through their meditation practice. They were also asked about awareness, disidentification from emotions and thoughts, and the general view on how meditation has helped them with their relationships. Overall it was found that the participants reported positive things in their lives regarding their way of lifestyle with meditation.
The findings from this study certainly suggest some issues that could use some consideration and further exploration. The main one being participants clearly feel that their meditation practices had helped them develop traits or enduring qualities that, in turn, affected their relationships. Using this information one could try to make an experimental study to test this assumption.
Terms: relationships, meditation, awareness, emotion http://portal.idc.ac.il/he/main/research/aware/research/documents/social/attachment/voices%20_of%20_experienced%20_meditators%20_the%20_impact.pdf
If we have learned anything this semester, it is that meditation can and will effect every aspect of life and relationships are no exception. Meditation has been found to have positive effects on both intra and interpersonal relationships. It is through improving one that we find improvement in the other, intrapersonal first then interpersonal relationships.
Meditation has many benefits for our mental wellbeing. An experienced meditator is less likely to experience drastic fight or flight responses and is emotionally resilient. Through meditation we find self-insight and actualization. These improvements prevent us from becoming consumed by emotion, therefore allowing for more logical and calm thought. These self-improvement translate to our daily interactions with others. A less emotional approach, especially when dealing with issues or confrontation, allow for better communication.
One major section of the readings done in class was about the effects of meditation on empathy. Empathy is our ability to relate to others situation, to feel what they feel. Meditation aids in becoming more aware of oneself, the environment, and others. The empathy gained through meditation allows for closer and more personal connections to those near us and people we encounter daily. The ability to listen and feel with someone helps to grow connections as opposed to feeling bad or pity for someone.
All positive relationship changes seem to stem from one benefit off meditation, felling better. Meditation relieves stress and helps to feel better, healthier as a whole. By becoming a more relaxed and happier person it will make relationships happier as well. It is truly a simple concept; feel better, act better, and relationships will improve. Smiles can be contagious and go a long way in improving interactions. If simple meditation can help improve these areas it is foolish not take advantage of it.
Anecdotally, my personal relationships have improved with more advanced meditation. As I became more relaxed I found it easier to connect and listen to others.
Terms: meditation, intrapersonal relationship, interpersonal relationship, stress, relaxation, empathy, health
For this week’s blog, I researched websites looking for information on the effects of meditation and spousal relationships. In general, mediation helps you be more mindful and being more mindful ultimately helps your relationship. One way meditation will enhance your relationship is by lowering your stress. When you're less stressed, your nervous system is less likely to overreact and you're less defensive, and better able to hear and respond to what's actually going on. With meditation you will be able to manage your stress better and react more appropriately with your partner.
According to Psychology today, meditation can also build a bridge between the emotional and rational part of your brain. Meditation strengthens your middle frontal cortex which is the area of the brain that is believed to be an area of higher intellect. This is in contrast to the frontal cortex where the amygdala is and all of its emotions. So if you’re angry for whatever reason and you come home and you think your spouse is trying to down play your feeling and why your angry and you just get more angry, it could be because your emotional brain and rational brain are not connecting. Through meditation, you should be better able to rationalize when your emotion are getting the best of you and the situation. Overall, just being more mindful of your actions and your partners actions will strengthen your relationship. Meditation cam help you turn off your automatic responses and can help you get a better view of the situation. The overall benefits of meditation ate many and great but there’s nothing that meditation can do that will make your relationship something that it is not. It’s not as if you meditate and your relationship will be perfect. It’s that meditating gives you benefits that can make a positive impact on your live and you can apply that to your relationships.
Terms: Meditation, mindfulness, middle prefrontal cortex, amygdala, relationships, meditation benefits
Relationships have always been one of my favorite parts of psychology and, well, life. There is a significant body of research that suggests quality relationships can go a long way to ensure excellent mental health or provide social support for those in need and, on the other hand, a dearth of relationships can push one over the precipice. As such, I have been looking forward to the impact of meditation on relationships for the entire semester.
I found an article that discussed a qualitative study investigating how exactly meditation affects relationships. Eight practiced meditators were interviewed for the study, though one withdrew her information as she felt it did not do merit to how meditation improved her relationships. The researchers identified four themes from the participants in how meditation affected their lives: 1) awareness, 2) disidentification from emotions/thoughts, 3) acceptance and 4) compassion/loving kindness.
Awareness refers to the being open to a wide range of experiences and being in the moment. Participants discussed how this allowed them to develop better relationships in that, when with a loved one, they were never focused on the future or trying to solve a problem, they were with the other person with their whole being. They listened, talked, looked them in the eye, ignored their phone. These are all things that aren’t all that common in today’s society.
The next theme, disidentification of emotions and thoughts, allows participants to recognize their thoughts and emotions, without said emotions and thoughts controlling their actions. They would observe themselves becoming angry, but wouldn’t respond to a loved one with anger. Obviously, there is merits in improving relationships by only acknowledging negative emotions. Psychology shows that responding in anger generally only breeds more anger, so, with the aid of meditation, participants noted they would respond in a more calm, rational manner, ergo solving the problem, not adding “fuel to the fire.” Other emotions they could choose to ignore were irritation, jealousy, unnecessary hurt, etc. Positive emotions or thoughts, they could recognize as well and choose to embrace to further their relationship.
Participants also discussed acceptance as a trait heavily influenced by their meditation. What they mean by this, is to start taking themselves and their lives as they are, without trying to change them. They also stopped trying to change their loved ones, but accepting them for who they were. Again, this would significantly impact relationships as meditators would not try to make their loved one extraverted, interested in football, like this book or that genre of music. Acceptance bred less fighting and more appreciation of differences between the involved parties.
Finally, the participants identified a greater ability for compassion and loving kindness, the “acknowledgment of shared humanity and the commonalities in both suffering and aspiration among people.” For example, participants were more likely to serve their loved ones and go out of the way to help them. They would stop by with a random gift, or drop a cookie off at the office, or make something special for dinner. Essentially, they were more loving towards them. This love made it easier for their loved ones to connect with them and, as making others happy tends to make people happy, they participants felt better about themselves. Additionally, the participants were better able to empathize with their loved ones, whether in a disagreement themselves or simply hearing them vent.
With the chance of sounding a broken record, the influx and prevalence of technology in our society has made it very difficult to develop and sustain quality relationships. Quality personal interaction has become scarce and the dearth of relationships has caused an increase in mental health problems. Again, I’m becoming convinced meditation can and should be a greater part of our society. However, I’ll admit we need to find a better, more robust, more empirical way to measure the effects of meditation.
Terms: meditation, loving-kindness, emotions, thoughts, compassion, acceptance, attention
Relationships are a very important part of our lives. Relationships can either be internal or they can be very social and involve a wide range of social interactions. In an article called “Exploring the Farther Reaches of Human Potential” psychologists cover different values of relationships and some studies that have shown that meditation can have a positive effect. The article I read used many different studies and their implications to get the point across that mindfulness based practices have positive effects on relationships. First looked at were interpersonal relationships. These relationships are external and involve social interaction between two or more people. A study done by Carson, Carson, Gil, and Baucom (2004) found that couples who had been married for an average of 11 years showed an increase in relationship satisfaction (overall and specifically with partner) after mindfulness meditation intervention. It was also suggested that those who participated in the mindfulness based meditation more emotional clarity than did the couples who were put on a waiting list. This suggests that the mindfulness based meditation helps people understand the internalization of their own emotions as well as their spouses. Since people were more sensitive to emotions from both people, it is thought that this breeds the emotional clarity.
The next part of relationships that was looked at was self-concept. Self-concept is also known as self-identity and is a collection of beliefs about oneself. It is the internal construction of who you are as defined by you. In another study, participants were split into two different groups depending on how much time they have spent with mindfulness meditation. In one group were people who had little to no experience (less than one year) and the other group contained people with more than one years’ experience with mindfulness meditation. The group that had more experience with the mindfulness meditation could easily focus on attributes of themselves as opposed to the other group. This suggested that those with the meditation experience had an easier time self-identifying than did the other group.
As previously covered in class, meditation assists with empathy, or putting yourself in other people’s shoes. Empathy is a feeling of connectedness with other people, when someone feels pain, you can relate to the pain or imagines how something must have felt. Many self-report studies have shown that people who have practiced mindfulness meditation have scored higher on empathy indexes than those who did not practice. Empathy is a core part of relationships both romantic and general relationships. Being able to understand the pains and happiness of another person can be rewarding and even fun.
Finally covered in this article was the ability of self-comparison (which can go well with self-concept). I’m just going to report of my experiences with self-comparison and meditation but there is literature done by Neff, Kirkpatrick, & Rude, (2007) that covers the topic of self-comparison. I have found that my self-identity has improved since meditation because of the large amount of time spent in self-reflection. Since I spent so much time reflecting on who I was, I wasn’t as intimidated by the comparison I had with others. The discrepancy between my skills to others became less of a problem and therefore wasn’t bothersome.
Shapiro, S. L., & Carlson, L. E. (2009). Exploring the farther reaches of human potential. In , The art and science of mindfulness: Integrating mindfulness into psychology and the helping professions (pp. 119-129). Washington, DC US: American Psychological Association. doi: 10.1037/11885-009
This week’s reading blog is on relationships and I could not find an article specifically on relationships and meditation so I decided to search the internet. Surprisingly, I found some great information on a handful of website.
“Orpah.com” mentioned that meditation enable you to see not only how you are responsible for your own feelings, but also how whatever you may be experiencing is a choice you are making in that moment. It is not because of what someone else might be saying or doing. When you can step back from the heat of conflict and explore why someone makes you react a certain way, it quickly becomes obvious it has very little to do with the other person and much more to do with a place inside yourself. “Thedailylove.com” states that meditation can be an important tool to help people maintain a healthy relationship. It will not make you magically love each other more, but it will make you both mindful of the little things that can undermine a relationship. It helps you relate your emotions and helps you cope with stress positively, instead of lashing out on somebody.
“Psychologytoday.com” gives three main reasons why mindfulness meditation helps relationships. The first reason is that mindfulness meditation “turns down the volume on stress”. When your stress level is reduced then you’re less irritable and hostile. Also When you're less stressed, your nervous system is less likely to overreact, less likely to be hyper vigilant to potential "threats." You're less defensive, and better able to hear and respond to what's actually going on. The second point the website mention is “mind the gap”. Research on the effects of mindfulness meditation on the brain is increasingly showing that there is an activation of the middle prefrontal cortex. Having a more formidable middle prefrontal cortex allows your brain to bridge the gap, as it were, between your "thinking" and your "feeling" areas. Your brain can better integrate what's going on in your "emotional" brain areas and your "intellectual" brain areas. "Minding the gap” helps protect you from the dangers of having either your emotions or your intellect become a runaway horse, dragging your partner and your relationship in the dirt behind you. The finally point the website points out is "getting your partner better”. Mindfulness increases the degree to which you are open to your partner's thoughts, emotions, and well-being -- how well you "get" him or her -- and the degree to which you are open to those very same things in yourself. By practicing mindfulness meditation regularly, you're better able to be aware of thoughts and emotions in a way that allows you to be present, rather than reacting on "autopilot," which can so often be impulsive, habitual, or destructive.
A lot of the information on the websites are consist with research that has been mentioned in class and in our blog. Meditation reduces your stress level and helps you regulate your emotions. When your less stressed you are not as hostile or angry compared to an individual that has high levels of stress. With this said, you’re less likely to snap or lash out on your partner. Meditation increases attention, concentration and mindfulness, which can make a person more understanding towards their partner’s needs and possibly help them listen more attentively to their partner. Lastly, meditation can improve an individual’s psychological health and physical health. If a person’s overall well-being is good than their partner’s stress level may be significantly less compared to a person that is always sick because there partner would be worried about their significant others well-being, thus creating a stressful lifestyle.
I found an article about the effect meditation can have on the relationship between a patient and mental health practitioner. The researchers looked at how mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation can effect self-compassion, other-focused concern, empathy distress fatigue, and burnout. The study in question is very small and preliminary but they found what I expected to see. They found that mindfulness based interventions increased self-compassion but they didn't get significant results for other-focused concern. The researchers explained that this may be because of ceiling effects due to the population they were working with. They did find that loving-kindness meditation increased both self-compassion and other-focused concern.
I found these results interesting because the effects they found could be used in all relationships, not just therapeutic ones. The result of other-focused concern is often necessary in relationships. In most intimate relationships this already exists but it can take a long time to form. From what we have learned about Buddhism it would seem that extending other-focused concern to acquaintances and strangers would benefit individuals. Self-compassion has much less to do with others and more with the self. I believe in the age old adage of you have to love yourself before you can love others. Holding yourself accountable for your actions and their consequences, both good and bad, can have a huge impact on how you interact with others in your life. I would like to see a study like this replicated but with friendships or romantic relationships with a larger focus on qualitative qualities of the relationship.
Terms: Meditation, loving-kindness meditation, mindfulness based intervention, empathy, other-focused concern, self-compassion, relationships
https://webspace.utexas.edu/neffk/pubs/MeditationSelfCompassion.pdf
The assignment this week was to research the effects meditation has on relationships. I chose to look up several websites rather than find a research study for this assignment because I thought I would find more benefits listed rather than just a few that were tested. I found a webpage that listed nine main ways meditating, specifically mindfulness meditation, improves relationships. First, meditating reduces stress. If a person is less stressed out they are less likely to be in a bad mood when around others. If they are happier, the relationships will reflect that happiness. Mindfulness meditation also helps people relate to others better. That improves communication and leads to a more harmonious, understanding relationship. Mindfulness meditation also increases empathy which, as we all know, is incredibly important in healthy, harmonious relationships. Another thing listed was increased morality. According to this author, when people meditate they become more aware of their place in the world. They may realize that life is bigger than they are and everything is connected so it is important to always be kind to everyone. I haven't noticed anything quite that profound through my experiences with meditation but I'm sure some others have.
One thing I noticed was beneficial that wasn't directly mentioned in the article I read was how much more peaceful people are when they meditate. I guess it kind of goes along with reduced stress but it seems like when people meditate, the little things don't bother them anymore. I know several people have remarked in class that stuff that used to irritate or bother them before they began meditating no longer get to them. Something else that can be a benefit not mentioned in the article is the opportunity to meditate together. People can meditate with others which will make everyone more peaceful and allow for quality time spent together. Meditation is kind of an intimate, spiritual thing so sharing it with someone else can bring two people closer.
Something that was interesting to me because I had never considered it before was that meditation can make people feel better about being alone. Some people are very clingy in relationships which can be off-putting. Meditation can make them grow to feel comfortable when they are alone and even grow to cherish time they have to themselves. Also it can help a person decide if they're in the relationship for the right reasons. Some people may enter relationships because they fear being alone but through meditation, they can learn how to be their own person and be happy. They can learn how to be happy independently so their happiness isn't always dependent on another person which can greatly improve a relationship.
Terms:
meditation, mindfulness, stress, relationships, morality, peacefulness, empathy
Sources:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/200911/nine-ways-meditating-brain-creates-better-relationships
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/201001/three-reasons-why-mindfulness-meditation-helps-relationships
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/25/meditation-in-action-mindfulness-relationship_n_3493848.html
For this week’s assignment, I looked at an article that examined meditations indirect effect on relationships when looking at the dimensions of mindfulness, attention regulation, emotional regulation, and empathy. The authors of this article paid special attention to Gottman and his research on relationships, identifying big problems as being criticism, stonewalling, contempt, and defensiveness. The researchers looked at a number of previous studies, many of which being brain imaging studies that consistently show increases in volume, density, or activity of relevant brain structures in meditating individuals when compared with non-meditating control groups. When examining mindfulness they looked at focused attention meditation, open awareness meditation, and loving-kindness meditation. The active brain areas they reported in mindfulness were consistent with the literature that we read earlier in the semester, including the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the anterior cingulate cortex, and the insula. When talking about attention regulation, they bring focus to a finding that people in happy couples notice and acknowledge their partners positive actions and qualities more so than those in unhappy relationships. They then related this finding to the evidence that meditation raises attention regulation, once again noting the anterior cingulate cortex. This is still consistent with our literature, in that the ACC is a very relevant brain structure for both cognitive and affective functions. Interestingly enough, these changes were noted in both long term and short term meditators when compared with the non-meditating control group. I thought this was particularly fascinating, as often times the changes are not found in short term meditators, which makes collecting and reporting data fairly difficult.
In the section about emotion regulation, they talk about a decrease in negative moods, which corresponds to the finding of decreased activity in the amygdala. This is actually controlled by the prefrontal cortex via a process called cognitive reappraisal, in which incoming negative stimuli are recoded as being less negative. They have additionally found instances where the middle prefrontal cortex (the area responsible for cognitive reappraisal) actually becomes less active as a response to meditation training, and actually show an increase in non-evaluative sensory pathways involving the thalamus, insula, and primary sensory regions. This is also consistent with our previous research showing increased activity in the thalamus and insula. This reflects the concept of ‘equanimity’ in that the sensations may still be associated with an emotional response, but that the evaluative response is suspended. They also noted something else interesting here, mentioning that the suspension of the evaluative response is actually supporting the exposure and extinction concepts, in that the meditator becomes exposed to negative stimuli and uncouple the negative emotions from the cognitive associations while engaging in soothing processes that highlight the transitory nature of emotion reducing the fear response of these negative stimuli. They mention the ventromedial prefrontal cortex and the hippocampus as being known brain structures responsible for this extinction process. The importance of this emotional regulation on happy relationships is fairly apparent.
Terms: Meditation, relationships, mindfulness, equanimity, emotion regulation, attention regulation
Atkinson, B.J. (2013). Mindfulness training and the cultivation of secure, satisfying couple relationships. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, Vol. 2, 2, 73-94.
I decided to look at a few different sites and see what they had to say about the impact of mindfulness and meditation in relationships. This is a topic that we haven’t discussed much in class so I was interested to know what meditations impact could be in relationships.
It is important to understand how to train the mind to step back from situations, clear our mind and extract ourselves from the circle of negative emotions that we often find ourselves in. It is very easy to get into the mindset that you are lonely and that everyone else is happy and content in a relationship. It is also very important to be mindful when you do meet someone. There are often many thoughts and emotions going through you and a lot of pressure to decide if they could possibly be the right person for you. By using meditation we are able to train our minds to decrease the intensity of our emotions by over 50%. We are also able to train our minds in a way that can increase our confidence in situations that involve a lot of pressure. When we decide that we do like a person we reach a honeymoon phase which feels amazing. However, the meditative mind has to recognize the emotions and work to not become too obsessive and not let our mood and attitude depend on that person. After a lot of work you can get to the point where you are able to be happy and content in your relationship. By practicing mindfulness you have mastered the ability to let go of the small things and communicate through the bigger issues. You let less things bother you and are more calm and stress-free.
Mindfulness is just good with helping a couple see the small things that can become bigger issues and work on them before that happens. By meditating, you as a couple are able to focus your attention on the things that matter and you have clearer minds. You are better at letting go of the small things and moving forward with your relationship. One big thing that meditation will help with is that it slows down our automatic responses and makes us more aware of them so that we don’t say or do things that will be annoying or hurtful to our significant other. Overall it is important to remember that mindfulness helps to decrease the stress in your life and in your relationships. You are less likely to overreact and it also helps you to be more aware of when your mind is wandering and allows you to become more attuned with your own feelings and emotions.
Terminology: meditation, mindfulness, stress, feelings, emotions, focus, attention, meditative mind
Three Reasons why Mindfulness Meditation Helps Relationships
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/201001/three-reasons-why-mindfulness-meditation-helps-relationships
This source helped to give a good overall summary of how meditating can help in relationships.
Mindful Meditation in Relationships
http://thedailylove.com/mindful-meditation-in-relationships/
This source gave a lot of good comments about things that meditating can help improve and went into a little more detail about that.
Meditation in Action: Why You Should Be More Mindful In Relationships
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/25/meditation-in-action-mindfulness-relationship_n_3493848.html
This source went through the stages of a relationship and how meditation helps in each stage.
Instead of looking for the effect that meditation has on couples’ relationships, I looked at a research article that specifically studied how this effect is possible. The study had 22 couples in the meditation intervention group and 22 couples that were in the control/wait-list group. The meditation intervention group took part in couples yoga exercises, partner-focused loving-kindness meditation, mindful touch exercises, and mutual eye-gazing exercises. The researchers had the participants take pre and post-tests looking at relationships satisfaction, relationship distress, joint participation in exciting activities, acceptance of partner, and individual relaxation. The couples were all in healthy, non-dysfunctional relationships.
What they found was that the only statistically significant mediator was the exciting activities variable. To me, this makes sense because meditation can feel like such a life changing experience and going through that process with a partner could be a real bonding experience. The researchers connected this finding to Aron and Aron’s model of self-expansion. Self-expanding activities include anything that is novel or physically arousing and typically are characterized by gains of insight and feelings of connection. The series of meditations in this study fit all the standards of a self-expanding activity. The couples yoga was physically stimulating, none of the couples had ever done meditation on a regular basis so the activity was new, and meditation can bring about feelings of insight and connectedness. I’m curious to know if meditation on its own would be physically stimulating enough, since it allows the person to be hyper-aware of their body in focused-attention styles. I also wonder if the relationships would eventually plateau once the newness of meditation has worn off. One caveat that the researchers had was that relaxation and acceptance could possibly also be mediators between meditation and relationship improvements, but that self-expansion/exciting activities have the largest effect.
Terms: loving-kindness meditation, yoga, mediator, Aron and Aron’s Model of self-expansion, mindful, focused-attention
Carson, J. W., Carson, K. M., Gil, K. M., & Baucom, D. H. (2007). Self-expansion as a mediator of relationship improvements in a mindfulness intervention. Journal Of Marital And Family Therapy, 33(4), 517-528.
Relationships and how meditation can impact them was the topic for this week. I found a few web articles that talked about how by meditating you can help to create better relationships. This first article gave nine points on why mindfulness meditation will help to improve your relationships with others. The first was being able to deal with stress better and not get stressed out so easily. By doing this you will be in a better mood when you are around others so any previous anger you might have had wouldn’t be directed towards them. The next point was very similar to the first as it dealt with emotional resilience, and the ability to understand your moods and change them better then if you hadn’t meditated. Out of the rest of the points they named the ones that I found most interesting were an improved insight and a better modulation of fear. Improved insight is having a better self-knowledge of oneself. Meditation helps us to better understand who we are and better understand our own thoughts. This is a skill that I have always thought was important in any relationship was the need to know who you really are before you try to have relationships with others. People sometimes try to change who they are to fit in and this causes a lot of internal turmoil that can cause us to feel confused about who we are. Another point that they made was the ability to better modulate fear. With meditation you can help to calm the emotions that come with fear, many of which are made up by ourselves. This internal fear causes us to worry about things that aren’t present and creates a cycle that is harmful to relationships.
The next article that I read was from the company Headspace. They talked mostly about the self-insight part of meditation and that it helps us to recognize our feelings and emotions that occur when something happens. This recognition is crucial in helping us change these emotions that pop up that are undesirable. The change and recognition may be slow at first but with practice we can become very good at understanding what causes us to have certain emotions and either avoid those situations or to not react in a manner that causes us or others around us stress. Learning to understand that what is taking place is actually not as big as of deal as we may see it, so recognizing this will help us to keep a better mood and also help to enhance relationships.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/200911/nine-ways-meditating-brain-creates-better-relationships
http://www.getsomeheadspace.com/News/headspace-blog/how-does-meditation-help-improve-your-relationships-with-others.aspx
key terms: Relationships, meditation, stress, self-knowledge, modulate fear, mindfulness
For this last blog, about mediation and relationships, I found an article that described mindfulness, a personality trait emphasized and enhanced through meditation, and interpersonal behavior, in other words, relationships with other people. Interestingly, the study used two different samples, one student sample and one parent sample. The students were all enrolled in psychology courses at a university in Belgium. Both samples were also overwhelmingly female, which I find interesting because I think there are some pretty distinct gender differences in mindfulness in regards to how it relates to interpersonal relationships, like the ability to distinguish and understand other people’s emotions. I think the results would be different if more males were included in the study, because I feel as though they are less socially responsible (in common gender roles) to be able to express emotion and communicate effectively. Women are already typically seen as better able to behave socially by using emotion and feeling. If this study was predominantly male, I wonder if the results would have been as drastic.
The researcher broke down mindfulness into four different abilities: the ability to observe, to describe, to act with awareness, and to accept without judgment. To measure these, the researchers used a few different questionnaires in order to measure mindfulness, interpersonal reactivity (identifying and responding to other people’s emotions as well as the ability to use empathy), social anxiety and performance (fear of engaging in social activity and effective communication), as well as self-esteem and body satisfaction. I thought this last measure was an interesting one to look at, seeing as not everyone would think to look at one’s own opinion of themselves when studying interpersonal relationships, but as the study said self-esteem is a positive predictor of social acceptance which then regulates social activity.
The research found that not all aspects of mindfulness correlate with all aspects of interpersonal behavior, but in general an increase in mindful observation increased the likelihood of engaging in empathetic behavior. Mindfulness also decreases social anxiety and increases performance and was positively correlated with increased self-esteem and body satisfaction.
Bringing it back to meditation, we have read about meditation exercises that focus on increasing mindfulness. Apparently the increased mindfulness can increase your ability to behave socially, by being more empathetic, more comfortable with yourself and your body, and by being less anxious in social situations, meaning you would be better able to create and maintain social relationships. I’m curious if mindfulness meditation exercises would be a useful tool in couples counseling. If both members of the couple engaged in meditation, would their ability to understand each other increase? Would they be better able to communicate their feelings? It is an interesting idea to look into for anyone who wants to go into a domestic counseling field.
Terms: Mindfulness, interpersonal behavior, relationships, interpersonal reactivity, social anxiety, social performance, self-esteem, body satisfaction
Link to article: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886907004242
Last blog! Meditation enhances relationship quality probably in the similar way as religion does when people say, “A family that prays together, stays together.” If both partners understand what it means to be mindful, there’s more patience and more time to be present to the other person, which cultivates empathy. Mediation helps couples to take time to understand each other and situations instead of automatically becoming defensive. Couples learn to work together and they take time outside of the catastrophic event to explore feelings and outcomes before reacting, which in many cases would be negatively. People who are mindful find time in this frantic non-stop society to inspire thoughtful reflection. Mindfulness leads to greater awareness to thoughts and feelings. This insight to our habits and tendencies positively influences relationships because if we are aware of our bad habits and patterns, they begin to dissolve. By understanding ourselves better through meditation, we feel more confident and hence more content. The less reactive we are, the more we give others the space they need to be who they truly are.
Meditators feel freer, more curious, and more open to each other’s feelings. In turn, couples re-embrace love by putting down the baggage and weaponry. With meditation, gratitude and appreciation are cultivated and anxiety decreases. Less anxiety reduces stress and places less strain on the relationship. Meditation significantly lowers stress and frustration, creating a more peaceful relationship. Mediation regulates moods.
When people are able to understand their own selves, they take a step back and view life as a whole. We spend so much time and money outside ourselves perfecting our shell that we lose touch with our inside and before we know it, we are running on empty. It is important with both relationships and meditation that you get out what you put in.
Terms: meditation; mindfulness; empathy; anxiety; stress; moods; relationships; patience; awareness
http://www.psychalive.org/video-mindfulness-meditation-and-romantic-relationships/
http://www.keen.com/documents/works/articles/spiritual/better-relationships-through-meditation.asp
http://www.getsomeheadspace.com/News/headspace-blog/how-does-meditation-help-improve-your-relationships-with-others.aspx
For the last blog I decided to look at an article that describes the steps within a romantic relationship and how we may use meditation to produce the best results. The first step it mentioned is being content with being alone. Being alone is hard, especially when everyone around you is in love. Being alone for some people, is longing for another which can produce negative emotions, feelings of desperation, and more. By using meditation however, individuals (including myself) can learn to take a step back and be more mindful of the good already in our lives. When we do this, positive emotions surface not only making us feel better, but making us more confident and approachable.
The next step is the first date. The first date is a very scary, and nerve-wrecking experience. The article discusses how some people tend to over-think the date and their emotions become intense and somewhat uncontrolled. With the use of meditation however, individuals can teach themselves to relax in stressful situations such as this and will help keep emotions more manageable. In addition, meditation can provide individuals will higher confidence that will benefit them within the date and in their overall lives.
After the first date, dating for a while, then the first year of marriage, it is important for individuals to not become over-whelmed with emotion that they become blind of certain issues or obsessed with their significant other. Meditation can help individuals focus and see the relationship more clearly. Of course dating and being newly-weds is very exciting and should be embraced, the article is just stating that the excitement should not cloud our judgment and mediation can help.
Finally, the last stage it mentions is post-newlyweds or after a long time of dating once the initial thrill and full-blown passion fades a bit. At this point according to the article, is when the relationship actually begins. After dating for a little while the brain begins to crave new and exciting stimulus, thus people may look to find another. This stimulus searching however, leads to short lived relationships. When the relationship began it was exciting, new, passionate, and flaws were either hidden or ignored. After some time however, this begins to fade which tends to make people question whether they actually want to be with the person. People tend to compare the beginning of the relationship to the status of their current relationship. This, the website states is unhealthy because the relationship should be viewed beyond just the passion and thrill, that we should learn to accept our significant other for who they are, and learn to grow together. One way to learn to accept one another is through meditation. Meditation can teach individuals to see past the short-lived beginning of relationships and learn to appreciate one another on a deeper, more meaningful level. Although everyone has flaws, meditation may also help individuals learn to accept or find solutions to these flaws/ problems. When this occurs individuals’ marital satisfaction increases and overall quality of life is better as well.
Terms: Marital satisfaction, passion, meditation, confidence, mindfulness
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/25/meditation-in-action-mindfulness-relationship_n_3493848.html
When researching relationship I had a difficult time find actual studies on the subject that also related to meditation. For most experiment relationships are briefly stated in the results area as seen and improvement, but none were the actually focus of the entire experiment itself. So I used a different route and started looking up things related to marriage and long term romantic relationships. This is where I came across a qualitative study that relates very well to this topic.
For this study eight participants were recruited. The criteria for inclusion in this study were that participants were long-term practitioners of meditation, having practiced meditation for a minimum of 10 years, and that they identified their meditation practice as an important part of their life. One happened to drop out after the start, which is why the results only showed the seven couples. The information that was gained in this study was done through an interview either preformed over the phone or in person.
The participant were asked a series of questions. The participants were asked about the personal traits they believed they had developed through their meditation practice. They were also asked about awareness, disidentification from emotions and thoughts, and the general view on how meditation has helped them with their relationships. Overall it was found that the participants reported positive things in their lives regarding their way of lifestyle with meditation.
The findings from this study certainly suggest some issues that could use some consideration and further exploration. The main one being participants clearly feel that their meditation practices had helped them develop traits or enduring qualities that, in turn, affected their relationships. Using this information one could try to make an experimental study to test this assumption.
Terms: relationships, meditation, awareness, emotion
http://portal.idc.ac.il/he/main/research/aware/research/documents/social/attachment/voices%20_of%20_experienced%20_meditators%20_the%20_impact.pdf
If we have learned anything this semester, it is that meditation can and will effect every aspect of life and relationships are no exception. Meditation has been found to have positive effects on both intra and interpersonal relationships. It is through improving one that we find improvement in the other, intrapersonal first then interpersonal relationships.
Meditation has many benefits for our mental wellbeing. An experienced meditator is less likely to experience drastic fight or flight responses and is emotionally resilient. Through meditation we find self-insight and actualization. These improvements prevent us from becoming consumed by emotion, therefore allowing for more logical and calm thought. These self-improvement translate to our daily interactions with others. A less emotional approach, especially when dealing with issues or confrontation, allow for better communication.
One major section of the readings done in class was about the effects of meditation on empathy. Empathy is our ability to relate to others situation, to feel what they feel. Meditation aids in becoming more aware of oneself, the environment, and others. The empathy gained through meditation allows for closer and more personal connections to those near us and people we encounter daily. The ability to listen and feel with someone helps to grow connections as opposed to feeling bad or pity for someone.
All positive relationship changes seem to stem from one benefit off meditation, felling better. Meditation relieves stress and helps to feel better, healthier as a whole. By becoming a more relaxed and happier person it will make relationships happier as well. It is truly a simple concept; feel better, act better, and relationships will improve. Smiles can be contagious and go a long way in improving interactions. If simple meditation can help improve these areas it is foolish not take advantage of it.
Anecdotally, my personal relationships have improved with more advanced meditation. As I became more relaxed I found it easier to connect and listen to others.
Terms: meditation, intrapersonal relationship, interpersonal relationship, stress, relaxation, empathy, health
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/200911/nine-ways-meditating-brain-creates-better-relationships
http://eocinstitute.org/meditation/improving-relationships-through-meditation/
http://www.getsomeheadspace.com/News/headspace-blog/how-does-meditation-help-improve-your-relationships-with-others.aspx
For this week’s blog, I researched websites looking for information on the effects of meditation and spousal relationships. In general, mediation helps you be more mindful and being more mindful ultimately helps your relationship. One way meditation will enhance your relationship is by lowering your stress. When you're less stressed, your nervous system is less likely to overreact and you're less defensive, and better able to hear and respond to what's actually going on. With meditation you will be able to manage your stress better and react more appropriately with your partner.
According to Psychology today, meditation can also build a bridge between the emotional and rational part of your brain. Meditation strengthens your middle frontal cortex which is the area of the brain that is believed to be an area of higher intellect. This is in contrast to the frontal cortex where the amygdala is and all of its emotions. So if you’re angry for whatever reason and you come home and you think your spouse is trying to down play your feeling and why your angry and you just get more angry, it could be because your emotional brain and rational brain are not connecting. Through meditation, you should be better able to rationalize when your emotion are getting the best of you and the situation. Overall, just being more mindful of your actions and your partners actions will strengthen your relationship. Meditation cam help you turn off your automatic responses and can help you get a better view of the situation. The overall benefits of meditation ate many and great but there’s nothing that meditation can do that will make your relationship something that it is not. It’s not as if you meditate and your relationship will be perfect. It’s that meditating gives you benefits that can make a positive impact on your live and you can apply that to your relationships.
Terms: Meditation, mindfulness, middle prefrontal cortex, amygdala, relationships, meditation benefits
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/201001/three-reasons-why-mindfulness-meditation-helps-relationships
http://thedailylove.com/mindful-meditation-in-relationships/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/25/meditation-in-action-mindfulness-relationship_n_3493848.html
Relationships
http://download.springer.com.proxy.lib.uni.edu/static/pdf/11/art%253A10.1007%252Fs10591-009-9112-8.pdf?auth66=1399318020_7af3a1b82dceb49e1a2d6dadc0793806&ext=.pdf
Relationships have always been one of my favorite parts of psychology and, well, life. There is a significant body of research that suggests quality relationships can go a long way to ensure excellent mental health or provide social support for those in need and, on the other hand, a dearth of relationships can push one over the precipice. As such, I have been looking forward to the impact of meditation on relationships for the entire semester.
I found an article that discussed a qualitative study investigating how exactly meditation affects relationships. Eight practiced meditators were interviewed for the study, though one withdrew her information as she felt it did not do merit to how meditation improved her relationships. The researchers identified four themes from the participants in how meditation affected their lives: 1) awareness, 2) disidentification from emotions/thoughts, 3) acceptance and 4) compassion/loving kindness.
Awareness refers to the being open to a wide range of experiences and being in the moment. Participants discussed how this allowed them to develop better relationships in that, when with a loved one, they were never focused on the future or trying to solve a problem, they were with the other person with their whole being. They listened, talked, looked them in the eye, ignored their phone. These are all things that aren’t all that common in today’s society.
The next theme, disidentification of emotions and thoughts, allows participants to recognize their thoughts and emotions, without said emotions and thoughts controlling their actions. They would observe themselves becoming angry, but wouldn’t respond to a loved one with anger. Obviously, there is merits in improving relationships by only acknowledging negative emotions. Psychology shows that responding in anger generally only breeds more anger, so, with the aid of meditation, participants noted they would respond in a more calm, rational manner, ergo solving the problem, not adding “fuel to the fire.” Other emotions they could choose to ignore were irritation, jealousy, unnecessary hurt, etc. Positive emotions or thoughts, they could recognize as well and choose to embrace to further their relationship.
Participants also discussed acceptance as a trait heavily influenced by their meditation. What they mean by this, is to start taking themselves and their lives as they are, without trying to change them. They also stopped trying to change their loved ones, but accepting them for who they were. Again, this would significantly impact relationships as meditators would not try to make their loved one extraverted, interested in football, like this book or that genre of music. Acceptance bred less fighting and more appreciation of differences between the involved parties.
Finally, the participants identified a greater ability for compassion and loving kindness, the “acknowledgment of shared humanity and the commonalities in both suffering and aspiration among people.” For example, participants were more likely to serve their loved ones and go out of the way to help them. They would stop by with a random gift, or drop a cookie off at the office, or make something special for dinner. Essentially, they were more loving towards them. This love made it easier for their loved ones to connect with them and, as making others happy tends to make people happy, they participants felt better about themselves. Additionally, the participants were better able to empathize with their loved ones, whether in a disagreement themselves or simply hearing them vent.
With the chance of sounding a broken record, the influx and prevalence of technology in our society has made it very difficult to develop and sustain quality relationships. Quality personal interaction has become scarce and the dearth of relationships has caused an increase in mental health problems. Again, I’m becoming convinced meditation can and should be a greater part of our society. However, I’ll admit we need to find a better, more robust, more empirical way to measure the effects of meditation.
Terms: meditation, loving-kindness, emotions, thoughts, compassion, acceptance, attention
Relationships are a very important part of our lives. Relationships can either be internal or they can be very social and involve a wide range of social interactions. In an article called “Exploring the Farther Reaches of Human Potential” psychologists cover different values of relationships and some studies that have shown that meditation can have a positive effect. The article I read used many different studies and their implications to get the point across that mindfulness based practices have positive effects on relationships. First looked at were interpersonal relationships. These relationships are external and involve social interaction between two or more people. A study done by Carson, Carson, Gil, and Baucom (2004) found that couples who had been married for an average of 11 years showed an increase in relationship satisfaction (overall and specifically with partner) after mindfulness meditation intervention. It was also suggested that those who participated in the mindfulness based meditation more emotional clarity than did the couples who were put on a waiting list. This suggests that the mindfulness based meditation helps people understand the internalization of their own emotions as well as their spouses. Since people were more sensitive to emotions from both people, it is thought that this breeds the emotional clarity.
The next part of relationships that was looked at was self-concept. Self-concept is also known as self-identity and is a collection of beliefs about oneself. It is the internal construction of who you are as defined by you. In another study, participants were split into two different groups depending on how much time they have spent with mindfulness meditation. In one group were people who had little to no experience (less than one year) and the other group contained people with more than one years’ experience with mindfulness meditation. The group that had more experience with the mindfulness meditation could easily focus on attributes of themselves as opposed to the other group. This suggested that those with the meditation experience had an easier time self-identifying than did the other group.
As previously covered in class, meditation assists with empathy, or putting yourself in other people’s shoes. Empathy is a feeling of connectedness with other people, when someone feels pain, you can relate to the pain or imagines how something must have felt. Many self-report studies have shown that people who have practiced mindfulness meditation have scored higher on empathy indexes than those who did not practice. Empathy is a core part of relationships both romantic and general relationships. Being able to understand the pains and happiness of another person can be rewarding and even fun.
Finally covered in this article was the ability of self-comparison (which can go well with self-concept). I’m just going to report of my experiences with self-comparison and meditation but there is literature done by Neff, Kirkpatrick, & Rude, (2007) that covers the topic of self-comparison. I have found that my self-identity has improved since meditation because of the large amount of time spent in self-reflection. Since I spent so much time reflecting on who I was, I wasn’t as intimidated by the comparison I had with others. The discrepancy between my skills to others became less of a problem and therefore wasn’t bothersome.
Terms: Meditation, interpersonal relationship, relationship, mindfulness, self-concept, positive affect, empathy.
Shapiro, S. L., & Carlson, L. E. (2009). Exploring the farther reaches of human potential. In , The art and science of mindfulness: Integrating mindfulness into psychology and the helping professions (pp. 119-129). Washington, DC US: American Psychological Association. doi: 10.1037/11885-009
This week’s reading blog is on relationships and I could not find an article specifically on relationships and meditation so I decided to search the internet. Surprisingly, I found some great information on a handful of website.
“Orpah.com” mentioned that meditation enable you to see not only how you are responsible for your own feelings, but also how whatever you may be experiencing is a choice you are making in that moment. It is not because of what someone else might be saying or doing. When you can step back from the heat of conflict and explore why someone makes you react a certain way, it quickly becomes obvious it has very little to do with the other person and much more to do with a place inside yourself. “Thedailylove.com” states that meditation can be an important tool to help people maintain a healthy relationship. It will not make you magically love each other more, but it will make you both mindful of the little things that can undermine a relationship. It helps you relate your emotions and helps you cope with stress positively, instead of lashing out on somebody.
“Psychologytoday.com” gives three main reasons why mindfulness meditation helps relationships. The first reason is that mindfulness meditation “turns down the volume on stress”. When your stress level is reduced then you’re less irritable and hostile. Also When you're less stressed, your nervous system is less likely to overreact, less likely to be hyper vigilant to potential "threats." You're less defensive, and better able to hear and respond to what's actually going on. The second point the website mention is “mind the gap”. Research on the effects of mindfulness meditation on the brain is increasingly showing that there is an activation of the middle prefrontal cortex. Having a more formidable middle prefrontal cortex allows your brain to bridge the gap, as it were, between your "thinking" and your "feeling" areas. Your brain can better integrate what's going on in your "emotional" brain areas and your "intellectual" brain areas. "Minding the gap” helps protect you from the dangers of having either your emotions or your intellect become a runaway horse, dragging your partner and your relationship in the dirt behind you. The finally point the website points out is "getting your partner better”. Mindfulness increases the degree to which you are open to your partner's thoughts, emotions, and well-being -- how well you "get" him or her -- and the degree to which you are open to those very same things in yourself. By practicing mindfulness meditation regularly, you're better able to be aware of thoughts and emotions in a way that allows you to be present, rather than reacting on "autopilot," which can so often be impulsive, habitual, or destructive.
A lot of the information on the websites are consist with research that has been mentioned in class and in our blog. Meditation reduces your stress level and helps you regulate your emotions. When your less stressed you are not as hostile or angry compared to an individual that has high levels of stress. With this said, you’re less likely to snap or lash out on your partner. Meditation increases attention, concentration and mindfulness, which can make a person more understanding towards their partner’s needs and possibly help them listen more attentively to their partner. Lastly, meditation can improve an individual’s psychological health and physical health. If a person’s overall well-being is good than their partner’s stress level may be significantly less compared to a person that is always sick because there partner would be worried about their significant others well-being, thus creating a stressful lifestyle.
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-Meditation-Can-Save-Your-Relationship
http://thedailylove.com/mindful-meditation-in-relationships/
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/201001/three-reasons-why-mindfulness-meditation-helps-relationships
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rewire-your-brain-love/200911/nine-ways-meditating-brain-creates-better-relationships
Terms: relationships, meditation, mindfulness, stress, minding the gap, getting your partner better, compassion, middle prefrontal cortex