For this assignment I would like you to interview one of your primary caregivers. For many of you this will be a biological mother or father; but it also could be an adoptive mother or father, grandmother or grandfather, or other person who raised you.
Now that you've read the chapter on human development, what questions do you have for your caregiver? You could ask questions about your mother's pregnancy and birth experience; specific questions about your temperament as a baby, and various milestones (first tooth, first word, first walking, etc). Possibly your family has a 'baby book' that documents some of these things. Talk to your caregiver about the things you want to know, but also learn about his/her/their experiences in raising you.
Most people find this experience of interviewing pretty rewarding and sometimes surprising. Don't feel badly if your caregiver does not remember certain 'firsts' (like what your first word was!)
For the written portion of your assignment (posted as a comment to this post) let us know generally what you learned and your experience with the process. Reflect on how your experiences matches or does not match the information presented in the chapter. You do not need to provide your actual Q&A.
For my interview experience, I interviewed my mother. I chose to interview (over the phone) her rather than my father because I figure with her I can interview her about her pregnancy as well as my childhood, which she will have a better idea about than my dad will. I started with the experiences she had while pregnant with me. I asked her specifically if she thought that she had an “easy” pregnancy or a “difficult” pregnancy. She said that for the most part she believed that she had a really easy pregnancy, which I’ve heard before, and have always found comforting, because I’m really hoping that when/if I decide to have kids, that trait will be passed on to me. She said she never had morning sickness, and while she was of course not exactly comfortable in the last month or two (who is, really?) she thought that overall, it was a very pleasant and easy experience. My mom has always said that I have always had a sweet disposition, even as a baby. She says I was good and quiet, and despite a few sleepless nights here and there, I was good about sleeping, too. She did say however, that my first word was either hot, because I had a tendency to go for the stove (I wasn’t perfect), or that it was kitty, because we had 3 cats at the time, and I was apparently fascinated. Yes, I was a well-behaved kid. That is… until Caleb, my little brother came around two years later. At first, she said, I loved him and was gentle. But when I started losing attention when he got a little bigger, I got a little aggressive. This continued for some time, but fear not, Caleb and I are best friends now, and we love spending time together, with absolutely no violence involved. She does say that despite my disposition toward Caleb (and I wasn’t mean all the time, I promise, I just had little tantrums, like most siblings) both he and I were always angels around other people and in public. They could take us to a restaurant and we wouldn’t throw fits, which is more than you can say for most toddlers. As I reached school age, I was told I was smart, which put me on a schooling trajectory more difficult than the other kids’. I think that this has messed with my study habits because after being told how smart you are for years, you come to expect it, and if you fail at something, it becomes frustrating. Although I was a good child, I was also a bit mischievous. There was an incident, I am told, when I accidentally broke a vase in my room when I was three. It is still to this day the only time I have had to go to the hospital for an injury (3 stitches on my right hand), although Caleb is a different story. Overall, I had a fairly normal childhood; pleasant, and free of MUCH drama.
For this assignment, I decided that I would call my dad and ask him about my development. I know that for the most part, people will think of asking their mothers about their childhood because in our society, they are probably the ones that spend the most time with us. However, my mom loves to share stories with me about my childhood so I thought it would be interesting to get my dad’s perspective for a change. I started out by asking my dad about my general disposition as a baby. He said that I was pretty much always happy. I usually slept through the night and even if I didn’t, I always woke up at the same time at night. My needs were always pretty predictable and Dad said I even ate and pooped on a schedule. Next, I asked my dad about what was easier and harder than he expected about raising me. My dad said the hardest thing in raising me was probably when I got to be about junior high age. Going to a bigger school and having more friends made me more independent and it was hard for him to keep up on what was going on in my life without always asking questions that would have made me annoyed with him. Dad also said he really struggled with the “girl stuff.” He has improved on his discussions of boys and fashion quite a bit since those days! Something that was easier than he expected was my behavior as well as my education. Dad said he was pleasantly surprised about how easy it was to discipline me and correct my behavior. He said this was definitely because I was the first child. (My sister was not so easy to discipline.) Dad also said he was glad that school came so easily for me because he didn’t want me to have to struggle or get into fights with me over grades. One of the harder questions I asked my dad was to identify the biggest change he saw in my development since I was little. His answer to this question was the change in my leadership. He said I went from being a follower to a really great leader. He saw that in my school groups I was always the one that was the “go-to” person to get things done. I also asked my dad about what was the quickest thing for me to learn and what was the slowest. Dad said the easiest thing for me to catch onto was reading. As far as what I didn’t pick up on quickly, I was not very good at riding a two-wheeled bike or doing the back float. The final question I asked my dad was my reactions to my little sister being born. Dad said I was excited to find out and was never that resentful toward her. If anything, he said that I was too helpful and he and Mom always had to make sure that I wasn’t too close to the baby. Dad said only occasionally I would attention seek and when Jenna would do something cute I would say, “Hey! Over here! Watch me dance!” The most interesting thing I learned from my dad is the exact moment that he realized I was a “grown up.” It wasn’t until we went to a bakery in mid-August of 2015!
I decided to interview my mother because I felt that she would have a few more insights on some of my day to day caregiving when I was little because she stayed at home with me. I interviewed her by phone call and by email as these were the easiest ways for both of us to communicate. I started by asking my mom about some of my firsts like when I first started talking and what my first word was. My mom said that I started to talk a little bit earlier than most and my first word was Dada. I asked her about my temperament and she responded that I had a fairly easy temperament and that I was always curious about the things around me. I used the definitions of the different temperaments in the book to give my mom a few benchmarks. I also inquired upon what it was like for her when I learned to walk and talk. She said that she was very excited about both because it was easier to communicate what was wrong when I was able to talk but also a bit stressful because I was more independent. In that aspect, I believe that I was fairly normal in my development regarding physical benchmarks. My mom stated, however, that the only physical benchmark I normally was not quite normal on was height. This was not surprising to my mother though because she is 4’11’’ and she pointed out that height has a definite genetic aspect to it.
After these questions, I emailed my mom a few more regarding her experience in raising me in the different parts of my childhood. I was curious to see what she thought was one of the best experiences in raising me and she said that being able to volunteer in my schools and see me interact with my classmates was an incredible blessing. In the email, I also inquired on what she thought was one of the most challenging things about raising me and she answered that one of the most difficult things was to pull back and let me learn through experience instead of just stepping in. In that sense, she was consciously making sure that she did not stunt my cognitive, social, or emotional development.
The last question that I had asked was about what it was like for my mom when I was in junior high. Among the feedback, some main things that she said included wanting to make sure that she gave me space to learn, be myself, and make my own friendships but still find the balance between setting boundaries and letting me grow and develop. Another thing that she said she really enjoyed was being able to have more in depth conversations with me when I was in junior high. This correlated well with the cognitive abilities of a child around this age.
Overall, my mom said that raising me was a very great learning experience for both of us. It was really interesting to ask my mom some of these interesting questions. I had asked about my first word and some memories I was a little too young to remember before but nothing really relating to how she interpreted some of my milestones.
temperament
cognitive development
social development
emotional development
Generally I am much closer to my dad than my mom so normally I would interview him for things like this, however that was not an option because my dad works a lot. When I called my mom and told her I had to interview her about her pregnancy experience and parenting me, she simply laughed. I was already not looking forward to the interview.
I began by asking her about her pregnancy. She said that she only gained about 20 pounds which is on the low end of the spectrum. She also mentioned that she did not gain weight on any area of her body other than her stomach and described herself as having a basketball in front of her. She said she experienced a lot of nausea throughout her pregnancy and couldn't get much sleep at night. To help with her nutrition, because she is a very petite woman, she took prenatal vitamins and iron supplements. I then asked her about the pregnancy specifically and to spare any gory details I will just say that there were no complications but she was in labor for 14 hours.
Next, I asked her about my "firsts". She could clearly remember that my first word was in fact, dad. She said I had a pretty ornery temperament, was a very picky eater and didn't sleep much through the night, all of which are the same to this day. I didn't really care to be held by people. I began walking at an early age and was very independent right away. I loved to be outside and show off. I can remember, from pictures, always hanging upside down on playgrounds. I was very active as a child and have been throughout my life thus far. My mom said I was never jealous of my younger sister as most siblings are. I loved holding her and got along with her really well. My mom said that my older sister and I did not get along that much which could be due to the five year age gap between us. Now that we are both older we get along great. She said growing up I was always an animal lover which still holds true.
Getting to my school years she said that at my conferences my teachers mentioned that I was a "social butterfly" and liked to talk a lot. She knew from then on that I would be what you would consider a leader rather than a follower. She also said that I made friends easily because I would talk to anyone. As the years went on, my mom recalls me becoming more and more independent, not wanting to ever be home. I can remember this happening too but a little different from her version. She said she was not surprised that I excelled in school because my sister had as well but she was surprised at my vocal music abilities because that was something my older sister was not good at.
In doing this interview I felt like I didn't learn much new information. It was interesting however, to see how my mom reacted to the questions and to hear the tone of her voice change as she answered the various questions. In the end, I found that doing the developmental interview with my mom wasn't as bad as I imagined it could be.
For my interview experience, I decided to interview my mother and ask her about my development. My mother said she knew she was pregnant with me three weeks in, saying it was an easy pregnancy except for an injury to her back. She fell on a marble floor at her workplace and ended up rupturing what was left of the disk she had had surgery on a few years ago and ruptured another one as well. She had to have cortisone shots because she could not lift her left leg. Her doctor then sent her to Iowa City for an MRI because it was against Iowa law for a pregnant woman to have an MRI, but they could do it in Iowa City for research. Otherwise my mom said her pregnancy was good even if I was three weeks early. I was told that my temperament was ornery and stubborn even as a baby. As I would sleep I would roll from my back to stomach no matter how hard my mother tried to get me to sleep on my back. For a while my mother thought my dad had been doing it until they had been in my nursery together while I did it.
I had my first tooth when I was five months old and I lost my first tooth when I was five years old after taking a bite out of a cookie. I was a child that refused to pull a tooth because I loathed pain and then when it fell out I thought I was going to get in trouble. My mother also said it was always hard to tell if I had a fever, because I usually was running a low grade fever. My mom says she thought I was going to start walking when I was seven months, I would stand up in the middle of the room, “you had the greatest balance” she said. She would try to coax me to walk to her but no matter how hard she tried I wouldn’t actually start walking till I was nine months old. I entertained myself quite never needing anything but my own imagination.
After these questions, I decided to ask a few more regarding her best experience. I was surprised to hear she had said that one of her best experiences with me is knowing that she had to let me go when I got to college because she raised me right and trusting me to make the right decisions, proud of my grades, and my attitude. My last question that I asked was what was the most challenging thing when raising me. She told me that the most challenging thing about raising me was the mounting guilt. That I’ll know the experience when I become a mother and I leave my child at daycare or school and their screaming at me and I have ‘mommy guilt’ but even she says that I’ll know that as soon as mom leaves they will be just fine and having fun.
My Mother was and still is extremely meticulous with documenting the lives of me and my sister. We have so many photo albums from when I was growing up that little is left up to the imagination when it comes to my childhood. Every birthday party is there, every injury, every family friend and grade school teacher. My whole life in a couple of books with colorful paper and plastic sleeves. I really enjoyed getting to look through those with my mom and talking about them. On top of that, my mother loves to talk about the different stories involved in raising me. My first words were Ball and Duck, I was having full phone conversations by the time I was nine months old and I hardly ever cried, instead I just made little "peeping" noises as my mom described them. I was the only person Getting to talk to my mom about this was a very fun experience and while she didn't have too many stories about her pregnancy, she reminded me humorously that I was an accident and that I was a C-Section birth. As for when I was born, my mother stopped working and was my primary care giver for my entire life. She said she never would have wanted to miss the time we spent together for the world.
I don't feel anything I learned from speaking with my mother was especially different from what I read in the text but, It was interesting to see where I fell into some of the walking and talking averages. It made the data more personal and gave a life to what I had read that wasn't there previously. This was a very cool experience and I'm very glad I got to have that conversation with my parents.
I interviewed both of my parents because I’m always switched to speaker phone anytime I call them. To start, I just asked them to describe what I was like as a kid. The one thing they kept saying was that I always acted mature for my age. My parents think I was more mature because I spent so much time around adults, whether at teacher meetings with my mom, church or being around their friends. They said that when I hung out with other kids my age, I didn’t understand them; I couldn’t comprehend what a kid was supposed to do. My mom also thought that I was mature because growing up, my mom was sometimes distant because she was very concerned about “The Disease” (which is genetic) that her mom suffered through when my mom was my age and she was afraid that I would go through the same thing she did (“The Disease” didn’t affect her, and therefore won’t affect me, which made my mom very happy).
They also said that I loved repetition – I would watch the same shows and movies constantly like I “was trying to memorize everything about it.” They said I was also very focused (I don’t know if I 100% agree, but it’s good to know that I at least seemed focused) and curious.
My dad summed up my childhood pretty well – “You were like one of those snickers commercials. You weren’t yourself when you were hungry.” They then proceeded to tell me all the stories of how I would get grumpy on vacation because I missed lunch.
Then I asked about what I was like as a baby, primarily about my temperament and their parenting styles. They thought that I was mild-tempered most of the time, except that I did cry a lot. Supposedly I would be balling every day when my dad came home from work. Then I would be “passed off” to my dad so my mom could get some sleep or some distance from me for a little while. When it came to parenting styles, my parents said that they didn’t try to be demanding, but weren’t completely inattentive. I tried to explain the different styles mentioned in the book, but they didn’t seem to associate particularly to a single style all of them time, but if my memory is any good, I would say that they would’ve fallen under the authoritative style. They definitely cared about me, but tried to let me be relatively independent.
Whenever I ask my parents about my childhood I never get straight answers because they can never agree with one another. The usual answers I received are full of sarcasm and humor but I knew the only way to get a truthful answer from them is if I needed for an assignment. It’s always an awkward conversation piece for me because well how do I start off a conversation about pregnancy with my parents. I knew that coming into this interview with my parents would be difficult because they have a hard time remembering what things happened to which child. Sometimes it upsets me that they don’t remember a lot about me growing up, or that I didn’t have as much pictures as the first born. I interviewed my mother because I wanted to ask her how her pregnancy was without it being too awkward and also I am interested in if she had any weird cravings while she was pregnant with me. She didn’t but she did like to eat ice cream and lemons.
I asked my mother about how her pregnancy went and she said that it was very normal at least up until about the last week or so when she had to visit the hospital to adjust my position in her womb. I was “sitting up” so the doctors had to position me the right way so the delivery would go smoothly but it didn’t. She didn’t expand on how the whole process went but I turned out alright. I learned that my first word was mama and that I was quite a normal child. Compared to my other siblings I was the one who cried the least and was less violent with other children. Like other children, I did suffer from separation anxiety but not stranger anxiety. She remembers my first day of preschool because I cried a lot that day but like any parent should, she had to leave me. My mother also mentioned that she recalls the first time I ever had stiches. She told me that I loved to follow her everywhere she went and that one day she was cleaning upstairs while watching me. I was about four at the time, so I understood her when she told me to stay upstairs while she grabbed more garbage bags but being the curious person I was I followed her only I fell down the stairs and hit my head on an air vent at the bottom of the stairs. She ended taking me to the emergency room to get five stiches on my head. I vaguely remember the incidence mostly the part when my dad came to find me crying in the hospital room.
It felt really satisfying to know that my mother does know things that happened to me when I was an infant; I just wish that there was more that she could tell me. It made me realize how much she truly cared about me because she mentioned that she would always look after me and be very cautious when caring for me. I feel that after this experience, I am going to turn into one of those mothers that document every single thing about their child which may or may not be a good thing. I really hope that I don’t turn into an obsessive mother who examines her child carefully and gets worried about every little thing even though it is inevitable.
Vocabulary: stranger anxiety, separation anxiety
My mom has a very unique pregnancy story for my brother, which affected her pregnancy with me. My older brother Colby was born the day after central Iowa got water back after the Floods of ’93. For the last 10 days of her pregnancy, my mom was living without running water, only drinking from bottled water. She had lost a lot of weight when she went in for her final checkup, and the doctors determined it was from very low levels of amniotic fluid. In addition, Colby was a breech baby – he was being carried upside down and backwards, so he was born butt-first. My mom had a scheduled c-section for him (and as a result she never really went into labor), but because of the complications with him, her doctors insisted on more frequent checkups when she was pregnant with me. She got an ultrasound every week for the last 6 weeks of her pregnancy with me. After her last one, she was told that I had not grown at all, so they induced labor on a Thursday night. Saturday morning, after almost exactly 36 hours of labor, I arrived. Aside from the length, my mom said it was a pretty typical birth – the extra precautions were simply due to the previous complications with Colby.
As an infant, my mom told me I was pretty easygoing and I didn’t really cry or fuss a whole lot more than necessary. Once I grew into a toddler, though, I became very stubborn and strong-willed, and my mom thinks that part of that is my daycare providers. I stayed at an in-home daycare with a woman named Lori when I was little, and I was apparently the only girl, so whenever Lori’s husband Brian came home from work, he would spoil me. I said my first word at 11 months old, “doggie”, in reference to a stuffed dog. I didn’t talk a whole lot, mostly because my older brother would talk for me. My mom said that once I started actually speaking, it was in almost full sentences. My parents love to tell me the story of how I shocked a dolphin trainer at the Chicago aquarium when I was four years old, because I correctly identified dolphins as mammals and not fish (like he would have expected a four-year-old to do).
Both of my parents said the most rewarding part of parenting was watching us succeed and not having to deal with a lot of the drama or issues that they heard other parents complain about. Both my brother and I are good kids, pretty laid back, low-key and low-drama, and my parents were pleased that they never had to deal with any major issues. My mom told me that the hardest part for her was learning to let go, and it reminded me of the issue of separation anxiety that starts at 8 months old. She was never the helicopter parent type, she said that it was harder for her when she would send us off to boy/girl scout camp, and there would be a big storm and she didn’t know what was happening, or in similar situations.
Overall, I really enjoyed this activity. I’ve heard my birth story before, but it was nice to brush up on the details. It also gave me a chance to ask my parents deeper questions about parenting and their own experiences with me, although it felt much more like they were speaking to me as an adult, and not just telling their daughter about what she was like growing up. It offered me some insight into both me and my brother, and how our family functions.
For this assignment I chose to interview my mom. I did this for multiple reasons. First off, I am much closer with my mom and felt much more comfortable asking her questions about how I grew up. Secondly, she obviously knows much more about the pregnancy than my dad since she was the one that was actually pregnant. So in terms of the pregnancy, my mom explained that it was a fairly easy and “normal” pregnancy. I was easier to carry than my older brother, which was her first pregnancy. During that she experienced quite a bit of discomfort and morning sickness, then with me most of those side effects had subsided. She did explain that while she was pregnant with me she had many more “pregnant cravings” than she did during her pregnancy with my brother. She would often find herself craving very salty foods late at night, which my dad being the gentleman that he is, would get for her. I was actually born a month before my due date, but I was at a very healthy birth weight and in good health. My parents knew right away though that I was going to be a more difficult baby. I was definitely a colicky baby, especially compared to my brother who was one of the easiest babies to take care of. I cried quite a bit and the only thing my parents discovered that could calm it was being held on my stomach, with my legs and arms dangling beneath me. I was especially partial to my mom, and her holding my like this would calm me down more than my dad doing the same thing. As I grew older, I grew out of the colicky phase but I was still a difficult child. I had a fast temper and was picky on everything: food, clothes, where and when I slept. Even after having one kid already, I was still a learning experience for my parents. My first word was “mama”, which makes sense since I was around her quite a bit. When my mom had me, she originally had a full-time job, and after taking maternity leave, she put me and my brother in daycare for a couple of months. However, this made her feel too guilty that she wasn’t raising her own kids, so she began to work from home and I was around her basically 24/7. My next word was my brother’s name “Erik” since, him only being 20 months older than me, I was also around him constantly. Eventually, I learned to say “daddy” and other words as well. I began to walk shortly after I turned one, and once I had mastered this, my mom explains that I never stopped! I loved exploring and getting into things I definitely should not have been in. I was a very curious child, just trying to learn more about the environment around me. I thought this interview was really interesting and fun. I was able to learn some new things, even though my parents have loved telling me stories of how I was as a child and how I grew up. My mom keeps extremely detailed accounts and scrapbooks of most of my childhood from birth until about 5th grade. The stress and work of having 3 kids and a full time job again has prevented her from documenting much more than that. I feel like from what I learned about my childhood and what I already know, it seems to very much resemble what I learned in the chapter on developmental psychology. I tended to fall into some of the less populated categories, but nonetheless, my experiences did line up with what researchers have determined. This definitely helped my put the information I learned in the chapter more into perspective, and I can visualize how this applies to actual experiences, something that really helps with my understanding.
First off, this assignment was a struggle for me. Not that it is difficult, no, it is just that my family is literally halfway across the world from me and time differences really does not help in these circumstances. I chose to ‘interview’ my mother for this assignment, but could only after 30 minutes of assuring her that I am ‘miraculously’ alive and well (which, as I reflected later on, is another indication of how caretaking to their children is something that is hardwired to every parent).
My first questions concern my mom’s pregnancy experience. From the book, I learned that there are environmental risks, or teratogens, that could have affected my development. Predictably, my mom told me that not only has she avoided any remotely unhealthy food or substances during her pregnancy, but she also consumed healthy food such as milk and fish more frequently at this time. One drawback, though, was when she was in a minor accident in the early 2nd trimester. Luckily, I was not affected and was born without any problem (phew!)
Regarding my cognitive development, my mom proudly stated that I was smarter than most kids. My first word was ‘mom’ (in Vietnamese) when I was 14 months old and since then I have not stopped talking! I was very inquisitive, and one my mom’s fond memory was when she’d drive me home from daycare and I would literally point at everything on the way and asked “What’s that?”. I also displayed a somewhat unusual talent of remembering numbers around age 3-4. I remembered being able to recall my home phone number, my parents’ cell and work number and sometimes random license plates. Mirroring this to the normal cognitive development timeline, I would say this was a considerable feat.
My mom also remarked that despite my superior cognitive skills, my motor skills were somewhat subpar. She recalled (and I remembered too) that around age 5 I was taught how to handwrite, in an attempt by my mom to get me ready for grade school. I struggled immensely. A simple task, like writing a decent ‘o’ took me weeks to master. Amazingly enough, my mom still keeps some of the notebooks recording my first attempts at handwriting, in which every page consists of my mom’s perfectly ring-shaped ‘o’ followed by my imperfect imitations in the forms of potato-shaped ‘o’ (her words!)
All in all, I could describe my mom’s parenting styles as authoritative (with a hint of authoritarian). She is superbly thoughtful and sensitive, but could sometimes have a higher expectation of me than she should, which might have resulted in her being occasionally critical of me in a young age. I am not complaining, though. Her parenting styles have definitely shaped me into a warm and caring person, yet I also could be greatly competitive and aggressive.
In closing, I am glad that I did this interview, since I was able to learn more about my upbringing as a child and empathize with my parents more for the hardships they have endured raising me. I am thankful for my parents and how they have played a major role in shaping who I am today.
Terms: • Teratogens • Cognitive development • Cognitive skills • Motor skills • Parenting styles (authoritative, authoritarian)I interviewed my mother over the phone for this assignment. She focused mainly on describing my temperament. First of all, she told me I was "colicky", but I was never formally diagnosed. It reminded me of how we talked in class about babies just crying, all the time! So apparently I cried a lot, and made a lot of noise, which is nothing new. I still talk a lot today.
This wasn't the only newborn trait of mine that reminded me (and my mother) of my personality today. She said that I loved attention, and liked to be held by everyone, so I must have been one of those "easy babies" we talked about in class. However, I wasn't very easygoing, which isn't a surprise. I've always been very intense.
It was interesting to me just how much of my personality developed when I was younger.
I think that aspects of my personality development were due to my parents' style. My parents were very secure, and gave me a lot of attention. I was the first child and grandchild, and still am the only girl grandchild in my immediate family. I have always been surrounded by a warm, encouraging, large family. I think this lead to my attention-craving, secure personality that I have today.