- I just got off the phone with friend in Minnesota. He said that since early
- this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The
- temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing. His
- wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window. He says that if
- it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
Recently in Joke Category
Email Sent from Peggy H.
Subject: Ole and Sven
Sven is passing by Ole's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Ole doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right suspender, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers . Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.
'What on earth are you doing Ole' says Sven
'Jeez Sven, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me' says an obviously embarrassed Ole, 'but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor .
'What on earth are you doing Ole' says Sven
'Jeez Sven, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me' says an obviously embarrassed Ole, 'but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor .
"Comedian Don Hepner has 90 seconds to capture his audience. When the light turns green, they're gone.
The 60-something stand-up performs at a highway off-ramp traffic light in Davenport, Iowa. Motorists can buy a joke for 50 cents"
This is a joke that my sister forwarded me in an email. Is this funny? Why is it funny? If it was about some other group rather than seniors would it still be funny? Why?
The Hotel Bill
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this:
My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George. After almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decide to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later, the desk clerk hands us a bill for $350.00.
I explode and demand to know why the charge is so high. I tell the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 Then the clerk tells me that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'.I insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to me, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us to use. "But we didn't use them.''
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain we could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," ."Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, I reply, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.
I write a check and give it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir, this cheque is only made out for $50.00.'' "That's correct, as I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have."
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Don't mess with Senior Citizens
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